


New Beginnings

by JakkuScavenger



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Modern AU, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-27 05:31:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 57,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7605493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JakkuScavenger/pseuds/JakkuScavenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey has just moved into her new apartment when she meets the man next door in an odd way. There's an unspoken attraction but the two have issues of their own they have to deal with and maybe help each other through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Move in Day

Aesthetic by ComeAgainZhen (JunJunyil)

 

Rey took one last look around her studio flat as her boyfriend carried the last box downstairs. It looked much bigger without all her stuff piled in it. She had finally saved up enough money to move into a one bedroom flat closer to central London. She had spent the last year dealing with a one hour commute to and from work every day. It was exhausting but she did what she had to, and now it had paid off with her being able to afford something a little nicer. Her commute would now only be twenty minutes and one train instead of three.

Rey had worked at an engineering firm for the past year and a half as an office assistant. At first she hadn’t minded taking the job, as she figured eventually she would move her way up through the company to what she actually wanted to do; design new aircraft technology. However it became clear that after a year without a promotion of any kind, she would not be moving up any time soon. Oh well, it was a paying, steady job.

She went downstairs and joined Jack in the car. They had been dating for a couple months but she had a feeling he was taking their relationship a little more seriously than she was. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him or enjoy his company, it was just that he was so clingy and a little too touchy feely for her. It always seemed like he had a hand on her hip or wanted to kiss her, almost asserting possession, which Rey did not appreciate. But for now, he was her boyfriend and she was his girlfriend. Even though Jack wasn’t, Rey was secretly happy that her new flat was farther away from his than her old one had been.

After a thirty minute drive, they had reached her new building. Jack pulled up to the curb on the front entrance and they both got out to start bringing in boxes. Rey didn’t have much and was able to pack all her boxes in the car without having to hire movers. Earlier in the week, Jack rented a truck and the two of them packed the little furniture she had and moved it into the flat so everything was ready to go once she moved in, all she had to do was unpack.

Her new building was absolutely lovely. It felt like something out of the 30’s. The front of the building was made of stone and had a black metal gated entry that lead to the front door with an archway above it. Vines and moss cascaded down the sides and there was a garden of flowers that lined the entry path. There were only three floors to the building and twenty flats total, just the right number of people. She was on the first floor, which made Jack nervous but it was a decent neighborhood and she hoped to make at least one friend in the building so she would have someone to go to if she needed it.

The floors throughout the building were a beautiful dark hardwood. It continued all the way through her flat, which she loved. As soon as you walked into her door, you were greeted by the living room. It was an open floor plan so over to the left was the kitchen and dining area. Then over towards the right of the living room was her bedroom and a bathroom next to it. It was the perfect size for her and much better than her little studio flat where she could barely walk around, let alone anyone else. Plus, she had a huge window in her living room where she could see the backyard garden and weeping willows. It was so peaceful and she couldn’t wait until the winter storms would snow her in and she could curl up on the couch with a cup of tea and watch the snow fall.

Rey ran out to the car to grab the last box which held all her books, _god this thing weighs a hundred pounds_. She slowly walked back inside, watching her step as to not trip. She was almost to the door when she felt her foot catch on an uneven part in the floor, sending her flying forward. Instead of falling to the ground however, she found herself slamming the box of books into the chest of some poor unassuming bystander. “Oof”

Rey tried to gain her footing as she felt two hands grab her shoulders before she bounced back and fell to the floor.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, did I hurt you, I must have tripped on the floor, oh shit I’m really sorry…” Rey rambled until she met the eye line of the person she had fallen into.

Before her was a man with dark curly hair and even darker brown eyes. They had a warmth to them that struck Rey immediately and she found herself at a loss for words. She couldn’t help but feel guilty at noticing how attractive he was.

“Hey no don’t worry about it honey, are you okay? That could have been a nasty fall.” The man still had his hands on her shoulders and the pet name only caused Rey to blush at her embarrassment of crashing into this insanely attractive stranger.

“Um y-yeah I’m fine,” Rey stumbled over her words and only felt the heat intensify on her cheeks.

“Here, let me take that from you, it looks heavy,” the man gently took the box out of her arms, “where do you want it?”

“Oh, you can follow me,” Rey said as she led him to her open flat, “you can just put it over there with the others.”

He set the box down and took a quick glance around, “you just move in?”

Rey nodded her head, still having trouble with her words.

“Oh jeez, I’m being rude, my name’s Poe, Poe Dameron, I live right next door.” He said as he held his hand out for her to shake.

“I’m Rey,” she said with a smile.

“Well Rey, it’s very nice to meet you, welcome to the building.”

Suddenly Jack came in from the bedroom and noticed Poe in the room talking to Rey.

“What’s going on babe?” Jack asked as he walked towards Rey and wrapped his arm around her waist, a little too possessively for Poe’s liking.

“Jack this is Poe, Poe this is my boyfriend Jack, he was just helping me with the last of the boxes.” Rey answered nervously, she hated when Jack got upset.

They shook hands courteously and then Jack turned towards Rey.

“Alright babe, if we’re done here I’m gonna head to the pub, I told the guys I’d meet them there.”

“I thought you were going to help me unpack.” Rey asked.

“Come on Rey, I already brought all this shit in here, I have to help you unpack it too?” Jack huffed.

Poe instantly felt like he was intruding on a private conversation and it was beginning to make him uncomfortable, so he made a move to excuse himself.

“I think I’m going to head out, Rey if you need anything I’m right next door, 106. Don’t be shy about asking for anything, I’m usually around.” Poe smiled towards the young girl and noticed the thankful look in her eye as he walked out.

Poe couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. Her eyes were a deep, soulful brown, and she had a look of sweetness about her. Then Poe mentally kicked himself about thinking about her like that because one, she was so young, and two, she had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who Poe couldn’t help but get a weird vibe from. There was something about the way he held onto Rey possessively and the way he spoke to her that gave Poe a bad feeling.

* * *

 

Rey was left alone in her box filled flat with her mind going a mile a minute. She couldn’t help but be mad at Jack. It was so typical of him to choose going out drinking with his friends instead of helping her. The quiet had left her mind to slowly move on to the man she had met today, her neighbor. He had been more kind to her in ten minutes than Jack had ever been in five months. _Jack _.__

Rey shook her head of the thoughts about Poe and tried to focus on what she was going to say to Jack when he came back. He’ll probably be too drunk to come back to her flat and help so she decided to get started unpacking herself. Rey turned some music on and started unpacking boxes.

About an hour later, Rey had gotten through the kitchen supplies and moved on to the boxes in her bedroom. Rey heard a soft knock on the door and figured Jack had either come back to reconcile or crash on her couch, hungover. However, when she went to open the door, a familiar face stared back at her, Poe.

“Hey, I was just coming by to see how the unpacking was going. I know your boyfriend couldn’t stick around to help so I figured I would offer my services.” The man with the deep brown eyes offered.

“Wait, you want to help me unpack?”

“Of course,” he smiled sweetly.

Rey opened the door wider to let him in as she stepped to the side.

“Wow you’ve made a lot of progress, what room are you working on now?”

“I was just starting to unpack my clothes and hang stuff in the closet, but since you’re here, do you mind helping me unpack the living room?”

“It would be my pleasure.” Poe stated as he did this awkward little bow, causing Rey to laugh.

Poe expertly began tearing into boxes and piece by piece, began setting up her living room how she wanted it.

“So how long have you lived here?” Rey asked.

“About two years, I moved here after I got out of a relationship but found that I actually really loved the area. Do you know what’s around here at all?”

“Sort of, I’ve passed by this area a few times but never really been to the shops or restaurants, I’m excited to look around though.”

“Well if you ever need a restaurant recommendation, look no further.” Poe shot her a grin that made her stomach feel a little warm.

 _Snap out of it Rey_.

Poe opened another box sitting in front of him and immediately felt his face flush when he saw the contents.

“Um, I think this was supposed to go to your bedroom with the rest of your clothes…” Poe shied as he handed the box to Rey.

Rey took the box from Poe and wanted to die on the spot when she saw her lingerie and undergarments sitting in it. _Oh my god_. Rey ran to throw the box into her room and then made a mental note to burn it all later. She couldn’t believe Poe had just seen all of her underwear.

“Sorry about that.” Rey blushed.

“Don’t worry about it.” _Please stop picturing her wearing that stuff, get it together Poe, she’s just a kid you creep._

Poe figured Rey couldn’t have been more than twenty or twenty one, way too young for him to be thinking about her the way his brain just had been. _She has a boyfriend._

After he finished unpacking the last two boxes in her living room, Poe noticed it was well past dinner time.

“Are you hungry at all, I know of a great pizza place around the corner that delivers.” Poe suggested.

Rey’s first instinct was to accept but the more she thought about it, she felt that maybe having dinner with Poe alone in her flat might not be the best idea. _If Jack comes back and sees us he’ll be pissed._

“That’s really sweet thank you, but I think I might just make some ramen, Jack will probably stop by after the pub anyway.” Rey said with a hint of anxiousness in her voice.

Poe felt that he overstepped his bounds. It was inappropriate to ask Rey to eat dinner with him. Especially because she seemed worried about what her boyfriend would think if he found out.

“Okay, well if you don’t need my services anymore I think I’ll head back over to my apartment .”

Poe walked towards the front door and grabbed his coat.

“Thank you so much for helping me, you have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, you know where to find me if you need anything. Have a goodnight Rey.” Poe said as he head out her door.

With Poe gone, the flat suddenly felt very empty. She had enjoyed his company more than she cared to admit. And if she was being honest with herself, there was nothing more she wanted to do than sit on the floor and eat pizza with Poe and get to know him. She realized they hadn’t really shared any personal details with each other. She didn’t even know what he did for a living. All she knew was that she hoped she would see him again soon.


	2. Dinner

A couple hours later, just as Rey was about to go to bed, she heard a loud knock on her door. Rey threw her light robe on and tied it around herself as she made her way to the door. She rolled her eyes as she looked through the peephole to see a very drunk Jack leaning against the door. Rey knew she should just turn around and go back to bed, call him a taxi or something, but instead she opens it.

“Hey baby, I jussst wanted to come by and get my goodnight kiss, I don’t like how we left things off earlier, d-do you forgive me?” Jack managed to mumble through his slurred speech.

“Go home Jack.” Rey stated as she began to shut the door, but he placed his foot in front of it.

“Come on you’re not gonna make me go home like this are you?”

“Ugh god, fine, go sleep it off on the couch.” Rey had been through this one too many times.

As Jack stepped through her door, he began eyeing her up and down, sending a chill down her spine. He moved to pin her against the front door.

“Don’t you look sexy, did you put this on for me?” Jack asked as he tried to push Rey’s robe off to uncover the slip she had been wearing to bed.

“Jack, stop it, get off.” Rey pushed his hands off her and moved towards her room. _He wouldn’t be acting like this if he wasn’t drunk_. Rey tried to convince herself.

“Come on Rey, when are we gonna fuck, we’ve been together for months and you never even let me look at you!” Jack slurred as he grabbed onto her wrist, tight.

“You’re a pig, get off me, I’m going to bed!” Rey shouted as she finally got out of his grip and ran to her room, locking her bedroom door behind her.

She sunk down onto the floor and hugged her arms to her chest. She had seen him drunk plenty of times before, and he always got handsy with her, but tonight was different. She had never seen him so determined, so demanding. Maybe she should just sleep with him to get him off her back. He had already made her do stuff to him, she had just never let him touch her. _No_. Rey had never done anything like that and she sure as hell wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of being her first.

She heard him shuffling around the living room and presumably flop himself down on the couch. She felt sick to her stomach and just wanted to go to bed. She slept a very fitful sleep that night.

* * *

 

Poe got up once he heard his alarm going off and made his way around the flat getting ready for the day. He grabbed his bag and keys and head out the door. As Poe was locking up, he heard the door in the next flat over open. Poe looked over to see Jack leaving Rey’s, looking like shit he might add.

Something about seeing this gave Poe a pit in his stomach. He didn’t like the idea of Jack spending the night at Rey’s. He knew it was none of his business and she was free to do whatever she wanted. At least that’s what Poe told himself in an attempt to get rid of his jealousy.

“Hey mate, what’s up?” Jack mumbled towards Poe, who could tell he was hungover. _Classy_.

“Not much, late night?” Poe offered, even though he was already done with this conversation.

Jack just laughed and started out towards the entrance of the building. Poe sighed and locked his door, glad that weasel was out of the building.

He heard Rey’s door open again and this time saw her step out to grab the paper. Poe immediately turned away when he saw her in her very short robe, especially when she bent over to pick up the paper. _Stop thinking about her like that, she’s way too young for you to be thinking she’s attractive_.

“Oh morning Poe, where are you headed off to so early?” Rey looked at him with those big brown eyes of hers and her thousand watt smile.

Poe couldn’t help but smile back as he walked towards her.

“Work, unfortunately, but I’m sure I’ll see you later.” Poe said as he tried to make a quick escape.

“Hey, I wanted to take you up on that pizza offer, maybe we could go tonight?” Rey asked sweetly.

 _This isn’t going to lead anywhere good, just kindly say no and leave_.

“Okay, I get off of work at six, I’ll pick you up after that?”

“Perfect, I can’t wait to walk around the neighborhood.” Rey said happily as she waved goodbye and walked back into her flat.

 _Oh shit_.

Poe head to the military base with Rey on his mind. He had only known this girl for 24 hours and already had a crush on her. The only thing keeping Poe sane was knowing that he couldn’t act on it. Rey had a boyfriend as much as Poe hated to think about it. Maybe he could try and just be friends with her. She seemed like such a sweet person and someone he could get along with. Not every relationship with a woman had to turn into something more. Poe had plenty of friends who were girls. _But Rey is different from those girls_. Poe new today was going to be a long day and he just tried to take it one hour at a time.

 

 

Poe looked at the time and realized it was six o’clock. The day had actually gone by quicker than he thought, mainly because he had kept himself so preoccupied. Poe walked back to the apartment building and stopped at Rey’s door, only a little late to pick her up. He suddenly found himself quite nervous as he knocked on her door. Rey opened it and greeted him with a smile. He couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked. She wore a black tank top and leggings with an olive colored jacket over it. Her hair was half pulled back while the rest lay down and curled on her shoulders. She had put on some darker makeup than he had seen her wear yesterday. Even though he thought she looked just as pretty without makeup, something about her black eyeliner made his stomach flutter.

“Hey.” Poe offered dumbly, seriously trying to keep his cool.

“Hi, let me just lock up.”

They walked in a comfortable silence as they went around the corner to the pizza place. It was only a short walk which was probably half the reason Poe liked it so much. It was a small family owned restaurant with only a couple tables and a bar area. People mainly ordered their food to go, but Poe was glad Rey had suggested eating here. He didn’t think he could have handled being in one of their apartments, it was too personal, too much like something a boyfriend and girlfriend would do.

They sat themselves down at one of the square tables and ordered their drinks.

“So do you want to split a pizza or each get our own?” Poe wondered.

“We can split a large one, I’m not difficult when it comes to toppings, just order what you normally do.” Rey replied putting down her menu.

Once the waiter came back Poe ordered a large Hawaiian pizza and hoped Rey would like it.

“So where do you work?” Rey questioned.

“I work at the military base down the road. I’m retired Air Force, now I work on the planes. I was stationed here in London for a year and fell in love with it. I knew once I retired I’d want to live here, so I moved from Florida a couple years ago.”

“You used to be a pilot?” Rey queried with a glimmer in her eye.

“Yeah, I was in the service for eight years. So what do you do, you’re obviously from around here.” Poe didn’t like to talk about his military service very much, it made him uncomfortable, so he quickly changed the subject.

“I was born just outside London, went to university here and got a job out of uni working for an engineering firm. I’m an office assistant but my dream is to engineer designs for improved aerospace dynamics.” Poe felt a little better knowing that she was at least out of college, although he mentally kicked himself when he realized he shouldn’t care about her age because he couldn’t date her or have feelings for her.

“I like to think I know a little something about that, you should come with me to the airfield sometime to check out the planes.” Poe offered.

“Really?” Rey looked as though she couldn’t contain her happiness.

“Sure, just let me know what day works for you.”

The waiter came by with the pizza and they both dug in. Rey seemed to really enjoy it which made Poe sigh in relief. He had noticed that since they came in she hadn’t taken her jacket off, and the restaurant was pretty warm inside.

“Aren’t you hot with your jacket on?” Poe didn’t know why he asked and wish he hadn’t when he saw her face fall.

“Oh, um, a little I guess.” Rey answered as she carefully removed her jacket leaving her in her tank top. She kept her left arm under the table which Poe thought was odd but didn’t push it. He already felt like an ass for making her uncomfortable.

Poe changed the subject quickly to what her interests were. He found out that she loved to watch movies and read classic novels. She was also very excited that the building allowed pets because she hadn’t had room for one in her last flat. Rey couldn’t decide if she wanted a dog or a cat. Poe had always been more of a dog person. When he was deployed they used to have the canine units out there and the dogs always boosted morale and took his mind off of things.

Rey rested her hand under her chin as she listened to Poe talk and that’s when he noticed it, the dark deep bruises that circled her wrist, almost like fingerprints.

Poe stopped talking midsentence, “Rey, what’s on your wrist?” He said as he reached to hold her hand and inspect the bruises.

Rey gasped and pulled her hand away before he got a good look.

“It’s nothing, I must have hurt myself moving.”

“Honey, did somebody hurt you, was it Jack?”

Rey immediately sat up straight against the back of the chair and crossed her arms over her chest defensively, “no of course not! How could you think such a thing?” Rey felt herself become unsteady as her voice rose. _Why do I feel the need to defend him?_

“Look if someone’s hurting you, you need to tell me.” Poe tried in a softer tone.

“I don’t need you looking after me, I can take care of myself. And I don’t appreciate you accusing my boyfriend of abusing me!” Rey got up from her seat, grabbed her jacket, and stormed out the restaurant.

Poe flung money on the table and ran out the door after Rey. _God she’s fast_. She was already around the corner and a block from their building. Poe ran to catch up with her.

“Rey, hey, come on, Rey!” He pleaded as he got a couple feet behind her.

“Just leave me alone!”

“Look, I’m sorry. You can’t blame a guy for getting upset when they see bruises around a girl’s wrist. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine thank you very much, now please leave me alone.” Rey huffed as they finally got to their building. When she got to her door, Poe stayed next to her and tried one more time,

“Hey Rey, I really am sorry. I feel like I ruined our nice evening, just forget I said anything.”

Rey turned to face him and noticed the pained look on his face.

“I had a nice time too, thank you for dinner.” Rey smirked making Poe feel a little better.

She reached out for what was probably the most awkward handshake in history, but it was uniquely her.

“Goodnight Poe, I’ll see you around.”

“Goodnight, remember I’m right next door if you need anything.”

Rey nodded and went into her flat, leaving Poe standing in the hallway dealing with the chaos that was going on in his brain.

Poe didn’t know what to make of the situation. It was obvious that Rey was hiding something from him but it wasn’t really any of his business. If she wanted to talk to him about it, she would have. Poe really enjoyed having dinner with her and felt bad that he made her so upset. Hopefully the next time he saw her, all would be forgiven and they could just move on.

Rey walked into her flat and let out a heavy sigh. She couldn’t believe Poe had seen the bruises Jack had given her. She also hated herself for vehemently denying that it was him that caused the injury. _I should have just told him, Poe would have helped me_. Rey had found herself defending Jack’s actions more often than she should have to these days. The problem was, she didn’t want to be alone. Rey had been alone for most of her life and the thought of being alone again, terrified her. She chalked Jack’s actions up to him being drunk and convinced herself that on a normal day, he would never lay a hand on her. _Right?_

Rey suddenly felt awful about the way she treated Poe. _I have to make it up to him._ She was having a “new flat party” in a couple days to celebrate with friends and family. She figured she could invite Poe and hopefully he would see it as a peace offering. _That would be okay right?_


	3. The Party

Poe had been standing in his room getting ready for Rey’s party for the last hour. First, he couldn’t find the right outfit to wear, _black tie or casual?_ Then, he couldn’t get his hair to sit the way he liked; it had gotten a little wild with the wind at the airfield. Poe hadn’t felt this nervous in a long time. He wanted to make a good impression on Rey after their less than successful dinner, so when he got an invite to her “new flat” party, he got excited at the opportunity. It was a little after the time the invite had said to show up so Poe decided to just deal with the way he looked and head next door.

On the outfit front, Poe had compromised with himself and went half black tie, half casual. He wore a white, button down shirt and a pair of dark jeans. Poe didn’t go to many of these kinds of parties so he wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. He got out his front door finally, and went next door.

Rey’s door was open and he could hear people talking inside and music playing. There were about ten people so far and of course he knew no one. He spotted Rey in the kitchen with Jack and a couple other people. Poe slowly made his way over and when Rey spotted him, she lit up with her thousand watt smile.

“Poe! I’m so glad you made it, come here, there are some people I want you to meet.” Rey spoke as she waved him over.

“This is my friend Finn, my cousin Ben, his girlfriend Talia, and my other friend Jessika.” Poe looked around at the group and shook everyone’s hand. Finn reached behind him and grabbed a beer for him which Poe gratefully took.

He felt a little awkward being surrounded by people that looked to be about ten years younger than him, and Poe couldn’t help but notice the strange looks Jack kept throwing his way.

“So Poe, what do you do?” Finn asked.

“I’m retired military, I still work on the base as an engineer and mechanic for the planes.”

They all slowly started to fall back into a nice conversation. Poe had to admit, he liked Rey’s friends, they were very open and welcoming. Her cousin was pretty quiet but he seemed nice enough. They had been talking for quite some time and Poe noticed that Jack had gone through about three beers throughout the conversation. As he reached for the fourth Poe saw the worried look on Rey’s face.

“Jack, you should eat something so you don’t get sick. Jessika made chili, do you want me to get you some?” Rey quietly asked.

“I’m fine, why don’t you worry about what you’re doing, instead of what I’m doing.” Poe could already tell the alcohol was beginning to affect him.

“I just don’t want you to feel sick tomorrow, I know you have that big meeting.” Rey offered anxiously.

“God! Please stop with the nagging, what are you PMSing or something, you’re really bitchy tonight.”

Poe felt his blood boil as he looked to Rey whose face was beet red and could have sworn he saw tears welling in her eyes.

“Hey lighten up mate, take it easy.” Ben spoke quickly, looking like he was fuming himself.

Rey excused herself from the circle as she put her beer down and walked out of the kitchen in a hurry. If Poe stayed next to Jack for one more second he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t punch him in his smug face.

He watched as Rey left the apartment and followed after her. Poe walked out into the hall and shut the door behind him, finding Rey sitting on the floor up against the wall. He went over and sat next to her watching as she quickly tried to gain her composure.

“Sorry, I just needed some air.” Rey said solemnly.

“It’s okay, I don’t blame you…are you alright Rey?”

For the first time since he came out here, she looked directly at him. Poe could see the tears fighting to stay in the corners of her eyes and the quiet sniffles she tried to hide from him. Rey didn’t want to appear weak or vulnerable in front of him.

“I’m fine, Jack can kind of be a jerk when he’s drunk.”

“Does he get drunk often?” Poe asked cautiously, not wanting to overstep his bounds like he had at dinner.

Poe got a sinking feeling in his stomach when Rey didn’t respond. He just wanted to go back inside and throw Jack out on his ass and tell him never to come back. But, he couldn’t, Rey was her own person and she had the right to choose who she dated. Even though Poe couldn’t understand why she would ever be with someone like Jack.

“Thanks for coming out here with me.” Rey said with a smile.

“No problem, no one should be alone at their own party.” Poe spoke as he stood back up and held his hand out for Rey.

She grabbed on as he hoisted her off the ground and both walked back into the flat. Rey decided to distance herself from Jack for the rest of the night and hope that he would get the message. _He won’t._

Soon the door opened and Rey saw her Uncle Han and Aunt Leia come in. They brought a bottle of wine and flowers for her and both gave her giant hugs. Rey loved them both so much and was happy to have them in her life.

Poe watched the interaction between the three in front of him, but chose to stay off to the side and wait until Rey introduced him. He was having a conversation with Finn until he heard Rey and the woman talking.

“So, which one’s Poe?” Leia asked quietly.

“Sshhh Auntie! Not so loud.” Rey blushed.

Poe pretended not to hear even though he felt a grin spread across his face.

A couple hours later, most of the guests had cleared out. Jack had left with some mates to go pub hopping. _Shocker_. It was just Finn, Ben, Poe and Rey now sitting in the living room talking. Poe had had a wonderful time meeting some of Rey’s family and friends, they were all such interesting and fun people. It was almost two in the morning and Poe decided it was time to head out, after all he had to get up in about four hours for work.

Rey walked him to the door and smiled at him in a way that never failed to make his heart flutter. She was so beautiful and kind he couldn’t help but wish he could kiss her goodnight. _Stop it, stop thinking about her like that._

“Thanks for inviting me over Rey, I had a really nice time.”

“Of course, I’m glad you came and got to meet my friends, I hope we can all hang out together some more.”

“I’d like that, well goodnight hun.” Poe smiled and left, resisting his urge for contact.

Poe went back over to his apartment and went inside. He had so much on his mind that he didn’t think he could fall asleep just yet. Instead, he made himself a cup of tea and sat down in the living room to watch some television. Poe couldn’t stop thinking about the night. He and Rey had fallen into such easy conversation, especially once Jack left.

He didn’t know how much longer he could convince himself that all he wanted was a friendship with Rey. Poe got the small inkling that maybe she felt the same way, but he quickly pushed that thought out of his head. There was no way she was interested in someone like him, he was way too old for her and not her type. Unfortunately it seemed that someone like Jack was her type, there was no way he could figure that one out.

Poe then began to think about her family that had showed up. He thought it odd that only her aunt, uncle, and cousin showed up, not her mom or dad. Poe would never have asked Rey about it but he was intrigued. He finally felt his eyes begin to get heavy and decided to head to bed, even though he would have to be up in a couple of hours. _It was worth it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading this, I really enjoy writing this story. Sorry this is a bit of a shorter chapter, the next one will be longer.


	4. One Faithful Night

Poe had just gotten back from the longest day of work he’d had in months. Part of the reason was because he was running on three hours of sleep. All he wanted to do was make dinner and head to bed early. He had gotten home pretty late, around seven, which made for an even longer day. Poe went into the kitchen and began to make some pasta with Parmesan sauce. Once he finished, he sat down and watched a movie while he ate. At around nine o’clock he was falling asleep on the couch, so he went to the kitchen and put his dishes away before cleaning the pots he cooked with.

As Poe passed by his front door to make sure it was locked, he heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. It almost sounded like whimpering, or someone crying. Poe cautiously opened the front door and poked his head out to see Rey standing in front of her door sobbing, desperately trying to get her key in the lock. Her hands were shaking so bad that she couldn’t steady her grip.

“Hey, Rey, honey are you alright?” Poe asked frantically as he walked over to her.

Rey turned towards him and that’s when he realized the state she was in. Her clothing was messed and torn and she had bruises littering her arms and a couple on her face. Tears stained her cheeks and her eyes were red rimmed and swollen.

“Poe! I’m fine, I’m just having a hard time getting my key in the door.” Rey managed through her heaving breathes and sniffles.

“Rey what happened?” Poe put his hand on her shoulder to get her to look at him again and noticed as she flinched at the contact.

“Nothing. Please just go back to your flat.” Rey began to lose control of her emotions again as she saw he wasn’t leaving her.

Poe didn’t know where to begin and deep down wasn’t sure he was prepared to hear what had happened to this young girl he cared so much for standing in front of him.

He decided to start by pulling her into his arms. As soon as she was embraced against his chest, the sobs intensified and he worried she was going to make herself have a panic attack.

“Sshh, it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay sweetheart.” Poe murmured as he rubbed her back up and down.

“Come here, why don’t you come with me and we’ll see if we can’t get you cleaned up?” Poe offered as he felt her nod her head against his chest.

Poe led her into his apartment and sat her down on the couch. He went to grab his first aid kit, a warm wash rag, and an icepack. When he came back to the living room, he found Rey curled up on the couch hugging her knees to her chest, with silent tears falling down her face.

“Okay honey, do you mind if I take a look at some of those cuts and bruises?”

Rey just looked at him but stretched her arms out allowing him to assess the damage. He desperately wanted to know what happened but wasn’t sure she would tell him or that it was any of his business.

“This might sting a bit.” Poe commented when he put the solution on her cut and placed a bandage over it. Most of the injuries on her arms were superficial, minor scratches and bruises. It was when he looked at her face, he actually noticed her split lip and black eye.

Poe handed her the ice pack and she placed it gently on her face, wincing as the cold hit her bruises. He began tending to her lip and was trying to decide whether or not she would need stitches. _Screw it, I can’t take this anymore._

“Rey, please tell me what happened.” He asked quietly watching as her lip began to tremble and her eyes welled up again.

“It w-was Jack.” Rey heaved almost inaudibly.

“Jack did this to you?” Poe’s heart sank as he heard the name leave her mouth. He wasn’t surprised unfortunately, that was honestly the first thought that entered his head when he saw her. _He had gone off on a drunken bender and hurt Rey_. Poe was going to kill him.

“He had been drinking again and when I got to his flat we got into a fight about…something. He’s never done this to me before Poe I swear!” Rey cried.

Poe suddenly remembered Rey’s wrist and knew she was lying to herself if she truly believed Jack hadn’t been rough with her before.

“What did you guys fight about that made him this upset?” Poe asked cautiously.

“We just…had a disagreement about something he wanted to do.” Rey blushed and looked away from Poe’s stare.

His eyes trailed down to her ripped and torn clothing, _oh no._

“Rey, did he force you into something you didn’t want to do?” Poe grabbed her hands and sat closer to her on the couch as she trembled next to him.

“No, I got away before he did anything but he was just so angry, I-I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten out of his flat when I did.” Rey spoke through the tears.

Poe felt as much relief as he could during a conversation like this but nonetheless was glad she had escaped before Jack had managed to do…that.

Poe hugged her to him again and felt Rey allow herself the comfort of the embrace. She curled up into him more and put her face in the crook of his neck as he continued to rub her back.

“I’m going to call the police tomorrow and get you a restraining order against this asshole.”

Rey just cried harder. She was scared of what Jack would do to her if she left him. She already couldn’t imagine how angry he was that she refused to have sex with him, let alone if she were to break up with him. Rey didn’t want to think about any of that now. She just wanted to be held by Poe and allow him to comfort her. She couldn’t deny however, how humiliated she was right now. Poe probably thought she was some dumb college girl who wasn’t brave enough to leave her abusive boyfriend before things escalated.

Rey’s head was pounding and her body ached all over. She made the mistake of whimpering when Poe touched a sensitive spot on her ribcage and saw the concerned look on his face.

“What hurts honey?”

“Everything,” Rey managed in the smallest voice possible.

“How about I run a hot bath for you?” Poe offered.

“Okay.”

Poe stood up and walked into the bathroom to turn the faucet on. Once the water heated up and rose high enough, he went back into the living room to get Rey.

He walked in to see her fighting sleep. In that moment, Poe was reminded of how young she actually was. She looked so small and had a look of defeat on her face. Poe so wished he could tell her how proud he was of her for standing up to Jack and getting away.

“Rey, the bath’s ready.”

Poe saw her struggling to stand so he rushed over to offer an arm for her to hold onto. They walked silently into his bathroom and Rey sat on the closed toilet while Poe got her some shampoo and soap to use as well as a clean towel. He left Rey in peace and went back to the living room to clean up the first aid stuff when he heard Rey calling for him from the bathroom. He opened the door and saw her still sitting, fully clothed.

“I-I can’t get my clothes off, it hurts to move.” Rey said in a reluctant voice as she felt her face heat up. She couldn’t believe she was asking this man she barely knew, to help her undress. _Could this night get any worse?_

“Okay, let me help you.” _Keep it together Poe._

He reached for the bottom of her shirt and began to slowly lift it over her head. She cringed when she tried to raise her arms meaning Poe had to maneuver the shirt around a bit to finally get it off. Poe tried to be as respectful as possible and help her keep some modesty by not staring at her partially unclothed figure. _Don’t think about her in her bra._ Rey had just been through one of the most traumatic nights of her life, she didn’t need one more man sexualizing her.

He moved on to her jeans and tried to force his mind to think about the startup sequence of his old plane as he unbuttoned her pants and shimmied them carefully down her legs. Poe waited to see if she needed further help but really prayed she didn’t, he was only human. As much as he tried to detach himself from the situation and see her as a sister who had gotten hurt and needed his help, it was proving to be increasingly more difficult.

“Thank you, I think I’m just going to bathe in my underthings.” Rey hadn’t stopped blushing since she asked him to help her get her clothes off. There was no way she was about to allow him to see her naked. She had never let anyone see her naked and she wasn’t about to start.

“Okay, I’ll be in the living room if you need help with anything.”

As soon as Poe shut the bathroom door, he let out a deep sigh. Poe remembered that she would need some clothes to change into and went and grabbed a t-shirt of his to lay out on the bed for her. Poe closed his bedroom door as well, allowing her some privacy to change, although he realized she would probably need help putting it on.

Rey sat in the bathtub and allowed herself to soak her aching muscles in the warm water. She felt the tears fall down her face again. She felt so stupid for allowing her relationship to go this far. There had been so many warning signs that she had just chosen to ignore. How was she going to explain her injuries to her friends and family? How was she going to explain the breakup and convince them that the two weren’t connected, even though they were?

A little while later she let the water empty down the drain of the tub and climbed out very slowly. The bath had definitely soothed her and she couldn’t help but be grateful to Poe. He had been so kind to her all night when he could have just left her crying in the hallway. _He would never do that._

Poe heard the bathroom door open and went over to the bedroom door to knock. Rey allowed him to come in and he grabbed the shirt to pull over her head. He couldn’t help but like how she looked wearing one of his shirts. He led her back into the living room and sat her down on the couch. Poe grabbed a blanket and placed it around her. Then, he went to the kitchen and took the cup of tea he had made her and brought it over to her.

She had a look of thankfulness in her eye as she took the mug from him. Poe sat on the other end of the couch and put the television on as a mindless distraction.

“You know, you can stay here tonight if you would like.”

Rey had to admit that going back to her apartment alone had been something weighing on her mind. She was secretly relieved that he had offered her to stay with him.

“Thank you Poe, I don’t know if I could have been alone tonight,” she said softly.

Poe gave her a smile and they both went back to watching whatever dumb show was on television. Soon, Rey had fallen asleep and Poe was trying to debate if he should move her into his bedroom. He decided she deserved to be comfortable in a soft bed so he got up and carried her into his room. Poe made sure to tuck her in and laid a soft blanket on top of her. He took one last look to make sure she was okay and went back into the living room. Poe figured it would be best if he slept on the couch.

 

 

Poe awoke with a start when he heard a scream come from the bedroom. He immediately leapt off the couch and ran into the next room to find Rey thrashing and crying in her sleep. His heart broke as she screamed for someone to stop touching her. Poe wasn’t sure the best way to wake her up without scaring her further but he had to do something.

He went over and sat on the edge of the bed and held her hand in one of his. She was sweating profusely with tears staining her cheeks.

“Rey sweetie, it’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe honey,” Poe cooed as she continued shaking and screaming.

Rey jolted awake as she felt hands on her shoulders and someone speaking to her. She looked up through heaving breathes to see Poe sitting next to her with an alarmed look on his face. She suddenly felt herself unable to control her sobs and held onto Poe for dear life as she cried into his chest. He just sat with her and held her until she cried herself out.

“I’m sorry Poe, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Rey whimpered as she pulled away from Poe wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, everyone has bad dreams.” Poe spoke softly as he pushed some of her hair out of her face.

Rey sighed and laid her head back down on the pillow.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Poe suggested worried that once again he was overstepping his bounds.

“Not really.” Rey whispered.

“That’s alright, do you think you can fall back asleep?”

“I guess so.”

Poe made a move to get off the bed when Rey grabbed his hand.

“Could you, um, stay with me for a while?” Rey asked shyly.

“Sure.” Poe moved to the other side of the bed and climbed on, sitting on top of the blankets. Rey turned towards him and held out her hand. He took it and squeezed reassuringly as she closed her eyes again.

He wanted nothing more than to take away the fear and pain she felt. It wasn’t fair that someone like her had to go through what she did. Poe realized he felt the need to protect Rey from anything that could harm her, even if that just meant helping her through her nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone likes this chapter! I am going on vacation for the next 2 weeks so updates will not be as frequent but I'm going to do my best. Thanks for reading!


	5. The Breakup

Poe woke up in the morning to find the space in bed next to him empty. _That’s weird._ He got up and went into the living room.

“Rey?” There was no response.

Poe walked into the kitchen and noticed a note on the table,

_Poe,_

_I cannot thank you enough for your kindness last night. I’m sorry if I ruined your evening and for keeping you up. Please don’t worry about me, I will deal with Jack myself. There is no need for you to call the police, everything is fine. Thanks again,_

_Rey_

Poe couldn’t believe what he just read. _Why did she feel the need to rush out of here this morning?_ _Also, everything most certainly is not fine._ Rey had been beaten by Jack and almost assaulted, why didn’t she want him to call the police? The sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach returned and he wondered if he should go knock on her door and see if she was alright. He decided against it as she obviously didn’t want to see him. Poe got dressed and headed to work with a mind that wouldn’t turn off and a horrible feeling in his stomach.

 

Rey was mortified. She couldn’t believe Poe knew that Jack hurt her and saw her cry, like really cry. She felt her face flush when she remembered him holding her after she woke up from a nightmare and him undressing her in the bathroom. Rey couldn’t have gotten out of his flat faster this morning. Maybe if she just avoided him for a while, everything would go back to normal. Now she just had to figure out what to do about Jack. There was no way she could keep seeing him but she was scared to break up with him. It would just be one more person walking out of her life. She also didn’t know how she should do it, what if he got mad and was rough with her again?

 _Maybe we could meet in a public place and Finn could come with me or something._ Finn was her best friend but she still hadn’t told him what happened and didn’t know if she wanted to. Finn had told her many times that he didn’t get a good feeling from Jack, that he never liked him. She never wanted her best friend to think any less of her because of a relationship she refused to leave.

Her mind went to her cousin Ben but quickly shot that idea down. If she were to tell him what happened he would kill Jack before she even finished her sentence. There was no way she could ask Ben to accompany her.

Lastly, she reminded herself of the only person who knew the situation…Poe. As much as she didn’t want to go to Poe and ask him for something like this, she feared it was her only option. She knew he would say yes without hesitating but it didn’t make it any less mortifying that she wanted someone there who could protect her from an abusive boyfriend once she broke up with him. Rey wanted to take a couple days to figure out a game plan and just prayed Jack wouldn’t bother her until then. _I wonder if he even remembers what happened._

Rey took a sip of her coffee as she pondered what her life had been in the past couple days. She had found a café around the corner from her building and decided to try it. Her mind kept going back to Poe no matter how much she tried not to think about him. He had been so nice to her through everything and she couldn’t figure out why. He was an established man with a life and she was just a kid. She was happy to have a friend that lived next door but recently she has started to wonder if they could develop into something more, especially after last night.

Rey quickly shook the thought from her head and took another sip of coffee when the café door opened. She couldn’t believe who she saw standing at the counter ordering.

“Hey, could I have an espresso please?” Poe asked as he grabbed money from his wallet.

Poe looked around and noticed a familiar girl sitting at the counter. The one who he held last night and tended to her cuts and bruises. The one who left before he woke up without saying goodbye.

“Rey?” Poe called as he walked over to her.

Rey had prayed he wouldn’t notice her if she turned away from him but it didn’t work. Now he was walking towards her and she had no idea what she was going to say to him. _Hey thanks for drying my tears and undressing me so I could bathe?_

“Hey.” Rey smiled softly.

“Hey, what happened to you this morning, you didn’t have to leave so fast?” Poe spoke in a hushed tone.

“Oh I just um, had somewhere to be, sorry.” Rey shied.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine thank you.” Rey had never had a more awkward conversation with someone.

Poe just looked at her with concern, clearly not buying her lie.

“Mind if I join you? I’m on a break from work.” Poe asked as he sat next to her, taking a sip from his own cup.

Rey adjusted to having him so close and finally got up the courage to say something.

“Listen Poe, I’m sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have burdened you with my problems.” Rey couldn’t meet his eye line as she talked.

“Please stop apologizing, it wasn’t your fault what happened and I would have done it for anyone in that situation.” _Would I have?_

“What are you going to do about Jack, you wrote on the note that you didn’t want me to call the police?” Poe questioned bluntly.

_Here’s your chance Rey, it’s now or never._

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” Rey looked up to see him eyeing her expectantly.

“I want to break things off with him but I’m nervous to do it somewhere private, for obvious reasons.” Rey blushed as she stared down at her lap.

“So I was wondering if maybe…you could come with me to wherever I plan on doing it and just make sure that everything goes okay?”

“Of course I will Rey! You don’t even have to ask, just let me know where you’ll be and I’ll be there. Don’t worry, I’ll try to be inconspicuous and blend in.”

Rey was so relieved in that moment; it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest.

“Thank you Poe.” Rey visibly sighed that time.

“Well, I have to head back to the base, but I’ll see you later I’m sure.” Poe said as he stood up and smiled one last time before heading out the door.

* * *

 

Rey sat nervously in her chair, continuously looking around the pub for any sign of Jack. The only thing keeping her sane was catching Poe’s eye every now and again as he sat alone at a table in the corner, keeping watch over her.

Tonight was the night; she was finally going to break things off. She hadn’t spoken to Jack since the incident a few days ago. He had tried to contact her but Rey never picked up. She finally texted him yesterday asking for him to meet her here. Now she was questioning why she didn’t just do this over the phone. Rey was horrified about how he was going to react, but at least Poe was here with her.

She found a strange sense of comfort every time she looked over at him, one she hadn’t felt with many other people. Just as she got lost in her thoughts, Jack walked over to her. Rey could have sworn everyone in the pub could hear her heart beating and her breathing quicken. The last time she saw him, his hands were up her shirt and he had her forcibly pinned against the wall.

“Hey babe,” Jack spoke as he eyed her up and down. _After that night, that’s all you have to say?_

“Hi,” she replied cordially.

Jack waved the waiter over and ordered a pint.

“Listen, I asked you to come here so we could talk.”

“What about?” Jack scoffed.

“What about? Are you serious? Do you not remember what happened the other night?” Rey was taken aback.

“Ah come on, we were just having a little fun.” He laughed.

“Fun? Jack you split my lip and bruised me.” Rey felt her blood start to boil at his confidence.

“Don’t lie and say you didn’t enjoy it, I know you’ve been begging for me to show you a good time.”

Rey felt like she was going to be sick, how did she end up with someone like this, he didn’t used to be this way. She steadied herself once again by catching a glimpse at Poe as he watched them intently from the corner.

“I think we should break up.” Rey finally spewed out.

“What?”

Rey began to see the anger behind his eyes.

“I’m just not in the right place to be in a relationship right now and I don’t appreciate how you treated me the other night.”

 

Poe sat at his table drinking a pint, watching the conversation transpire between Rey and Jack. It took everything in Poe to not go over there and knock him on his ass. She looked better than she had the night he found her but some of her bruises were still visible and her split lip hadn’t completely healed.

He heard Jack start to raise his voice and shout some unsavory words towards Rey. Just as he was about to head over to the table, Jack stood up, knocking his chair over, and stormed out of the pub. Rey had a look of humiliation on her face as she just stared at where Jack had been sitting.

Suddenly, she rose from her chair and walked towards him. She had a look of composure about her now as she stood next to him.

“I could use a drink, what about you?” She asked resolutely as she walked over to the bar area.

Rey came back with two more pints and sat across from him. He watched as she downed about half of it in one sip.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Never better.” Rey stated flatly as she took another sip.

She finished her first beer pretty quickly and Poe started to get worried when she went and got another.

“You want to talk about it?” Poe tried.

“What’s there to talk about? He’s just one more person who has let me down and isn’t in my life anymore.”

Now they were getting somewhere.

“Who else has let you down?” He inquired taking a sip of beer.

Rey hesitated at first but the alcohol was inhibiting her internal filter quite a bit, “my family.”

“It seemed like your aunt, uncle, and cousin really love and care about you.”

Rey scrunched her face as she heard his words, “they’re not my real family,” she spoke quietly.

“What do you mean?”

Rey sighed before she began to speak, “I lived in a foster home for most of my childhood, until my now foster dad took me home with him when I was thirteen. His sister is my Aunt Leia. I’m not actually related to them.”

Poe took a moment to absorb what she had just told him. Things started to make sense and he could certainly understand why she was so hesitant to break up with Jack. His heart broke but he tried to maintain a neutral face. He never wanted Rey to feel like he pitied her.

“The way I see it, is that no matter how you get to be with the people in your life, what matters is that you are surrounded by love and happiness. Who cares if they aren’t related to you by blood? I only met them once, and like I said, it was obvious that they love you…even Ben.”

That got a chuckle out of Rey as he saw her close her eyes and reach her hand across the table to softly hold his. Silent tears fell down her face as Poe just allowed her the comfort of holding his hand. Poe couldn’t help but think she looked so beautiful; maybe it was something about her allowing herself to be vulnerable in front of him that he loved. Of course she had a good amount of alcohol in her but she just seemed to have a huge weight lifted from her shoulders. There was now a brightness about her.

“How about we get you home, huh?” Poe stood and offered her his arm.

They walked back towards their building making each other laugh with bad jokes and stupid stories. Rey was pretty much hanging off of Poe, unable to keep herself upright. Not that he minded of course.

By this point, Rey was completely sloshed and Poe realized he couldn’t just leave her alone in her flat. He walked them both back to his and helped her inside. Rey flopped herself down on the couch and Poe took her shoes off for her. She seemed to almost be asleep so he decided to leave her there.

Poe went into his room and got ready for bed. After changing into some pajama pants, he climbed into bed. Only a few minutes later, Poe heard his door open and saw Rey stumble into his room.

“You okay honey?”

Rey didn’t say a word as she climbed into bed with him and helped herself to the blankets. _She must not realize she isn’t in her home._ Poe let her be and turned over to face away from her as they both fell asleep. He felt more content than he had in months and couldn’t help but think it was because of the girl next to him.


	6. Family

Rey woke up early in the morning with a pounding headache and a horrible taste in her mouth. She panicked when she realized someone’s arm was thrown around her waist and she wasn’t in her bedroom.

Rey quickly discovered she was in Poe’s room and it was his arm around her. Rey felt the urge to curl into his body for comfort and to help shield her eyes from the rising sun.

Poe stirred next to her and once he comprehended she was awake, hurriedly removed his arm.

“Sorry,” he mumbled sleepily.

“It’s okay.”

“How are you feeling?”

“What do you think? I chugged three pints.” Rey laughed.

“Hey, that’s your doing, so however shitty you feel this morning is all you sweetheart.” Poe mocked.

Rey felt it odd that her interaction with Poe so far had felt nothing but normal. She wasn’t freaked out when she saw his arm around her or their playful banter back and forth like she thought she should be. She didn’t even mind that they were lying in the same bed together or that Poe was shirtless next to her.

“How about I make us some breakfast, I’ll even bring it to you in bed.” Poe offered sweetly.

Rey nodded and felt herself lean over to plant a kiss on Poe’s cheek, without even realizing what she was doing. She felt herself blush and immediately scooted back over to her side and turned away from him. She could have sworn she saw Poe smirk before she turned away and felt him get out of bed.

_I can’t believe I just did that, could I do anything else to embarrass myself in front of Poe?_

About twenty minutes later, Poe came into the bedroom with a tray of delicious looking breakfast food. He made eggs, toast, sausage and even cut up fruit. He laid the tray next to her on the bed and handed her a cup of tea and some medicine for her headache.

“Thanks. This looks amazing Poe.” She was debating what she wanted to eat first.

Poe sat on her other side with the tray between them and turned on the television he had in his room. The food was delicious and Rey noticed that Poe let her eat most of it. She was honestly content to just stay like this all day, and that scared her a little bit. She shouldn’t be feeling at home in Poe’s bed and happy to let him bring her food, then curl up next to him after they ate. She supposed it didn’t help that he was still very much shirtless.

“Hey, would you like to come down to the airfield with me today?” Poe asked looking over at her.

“It’s Saturday, could we still go down there?”

Poe laughed, “yeah, the military doesn’t shut down just because it’s Saturday.”

Rey felt a little silly after he said that but then he gave her a wink that made her stomach drop. _Shit why does he have to do that?_

“Sure, I’d like that. I guess I should go home and change, maybe wash up ‘cause I’m pretty gross from last night.” Rey giggled as she began to get up.

“I like how you look.” Poe snuck in before she could react.

Rey felt a little flustered as she left his apartment as quick as possible.

After she took a shower and got dressed, she felt a lot more human. Rey walked over to Poe’s door and just as she was about to knock, Poe opened it and walked out. _Was he waiting for me?_

They grabbed a taxi and head to the military base. Poe flashed his badge and they eventually ended up at the airfield. Rey was beyond mystified as she saw all kinds of fighter jets and planes. Poe softly held her hand and led them toward one of the hangers.

“See this model T-70? I use to fly one just like it.” Poe explained excitedly.

“You flew an X-Wing? I thought only special ops used those?” Rey felt pure joy as she ran her eyes over the beautiful plane.

Poe just smiled at her, “wanna hop in the cockpit?”

Rey swore she felt her jaw hit the floor and only managed to nod at the man in front of her. She had dreamed all her life of riding in an X-Wing.

Poe opened the hatch and drew the ladder down. He waved her over and gave her a hand up. Rey sat in astonishment as she looked around the cockpit. It was everything she could have imagined and more. Poe stood on the ladder next to her, leaning in as he explained what each of the controls did. Rey didn’t have the heart to tell him that she knew every single switch and lever, he seemed so enthusiastic about sharing this part of himself with her.

Rey had to almost be dragged out of the plane as Poe explained he wanted to show her around a little more. He brought her to another hanger that contained refueling jets, cargo freighters, and more X-Wings. She hadn’t realized how long they had been on base until the sun began to set.

“I guess we should head home.” Poe suggested with a hint of sadness in his voice.

They caught another taxi back to their building and Poe walked her to her door. Rey turned towards him and smiled,

“Hey, I’m having a little get together with my family tomorrow, you should come by.”

“I’d love to, what time?”

“Six-ish?”

“I’ll be there.” Poe grinned, making Rey’s heart melt a little.

“Poe, I had a really amazing time today, you have no idea what it meant to me. And, I just wanted to thank you again for what you did for me last night…and the past two weeks really.” Rey shied as she looked towards her feet.

Before she could meet Poe’s eye, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

“Payback for this morning,” Poe hummed in a comforting tone.

“Goodnight Rey, I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, he walked over to his door and let himself in, leaving Rey in the hallway wondering what just happened.

* * *

 

Rey was in a frenzy trying to get dinner ready for her family. They were going to be here in an hour and she had already overcooked one batch of pasta. Rey was running around her kitchen like a madwoman in her robe. After her shower, Rey hadn’t even had time to get dressed before she realized she should start dinner. It had gone downhill from there.

Now she was attempting to boil another box of linguini and she was determined not to ruin it. Of course, right in the middle of her staring contest with the pasta, the doorbell rang.

“Shit!”

Rey ran to her door, not caring that she was in her robe and opened it to see a surprised looking, but very nicely dressed, Poe.

“Poe! You’re here early, I wasn’t expecting you for another hour.”

“Yeah, sorry about that, I just came over early to see if you needed help with anything?” Poe was dressed in a black button down shirt with gray dress pants. Rey had to admit, he looked incredibly handsome.

“You came over to help me?” Rey could not for the life of her, figure this man out.

“If you need it,” Poe shrugged.

“Yes please!” Rey spoke as she tugged Poe inside her flat, slamming the door behind him.

“I don’t know what is going on with me tonight but I’ve already messed up dinner once, and I’ve probably just done it again!” Rey shouted as she ran into the kitchen to check on the pasta.

“What are you trying to make?” Poe asked and he sauntered into the mayhem before him.

“Spaghetti,” Rey said flatly with the hint of a pout on her face.

“Here, why don’t I take care of dinner and you go get ready.” Poe offered, staring at Rey still dressed in her robe and hair still wet. _How does she manage to still look cute?_

“Oh my god, thank you!” Rey shouted as she ran into her bedroom.

Poe looked around at the mess that was Rey’s kitchen and decided he would need to head back to his apartment and grab stuff to cook with. Poe actually enjoyed cooking quite a bit and fancied himself pretty good at it.

After about a half hour, Rey walked out dressed and ready, to the most amazing smell coming from the kitchen. She decided to wear one of her favorite dresses; it was greenish blue, form fitting, and hit just above her knees. There were two small slits up either leg that were held together by lace making her feel sexy yet classy. She didn’t know why she wanted to feel like this tonight until she walked into the kitchen and Poe looked like he forgot who he was. Rey felt a blush rising in her cheeks under his gaze but deep down felt a little giddy about the reaction she got.

It felt nice to be noticed. Jack never commented on how she looked and even though that sort of thing never mattered much to Rey, a little acknowledgment every now and again is nice. She wore her hair down and straight for once and knew her aunt would comment that she should do it more often.

Poe cleared his throat and returned his stare to the food in front of him, “you look nice.”

“Thank you,” Rey smiled as she stood next to him and ogled over what Poe had created.

“What is this?”

“Just a simple pasta primavera with bow tie noodles and fresh vegetables I got at the farmer’s market this morning, I also brought over some French bread and made toast.”

“Poe, you didn’t have to bring over your own food and do all of this.”

“I don’t mind, plus you ruined all the food you had.” Poe smirked at her with a wink.

“Oh my gosh,” Rey groaned as she walked towards the cabinet and grabbed some plates.

Just as she finished setting the table, the doorbell rang. Rey all of a sudden felt nervous, she didn’t know how she was going to respond when they inevitably asked about Jack. Rey wasn’t even sure she wanted to tell them what happened but then she remembered that Poe was here with her instead of him. That was definitely going to raise some eyebrows.

“Hey,” Rey smiled as she opened the door to welcome her family into the flat.

Han, Leia, and Ben filed inside and that’s when Rey noticed a familiar face peer around the corner smiling.

“Luke!” Rey squealed as she flung her arms around the man she deemed a father figure.

“I thought you weren’t back until next week!”

“Well I just said that so I could surprise you, how’d I do?” Luke grinned.

“Pretty well I’d say.”

Rey led them towards the kitchen, preparing herself for the conversation that was about to happen.

“Leia, Han, Ben, you remember Poe? He’s going to be joining us for dinner.”

Poe turned from facing the stove and smiled politely, greeting Han and Ben with a handshake, something Rey might add, Jack never did. _Why do I keep comparing them? Poe and I aren’t dating._

“Nice to see you guys again.” Poe turned towards Luke and outstretched his hand once again, “sir, I don’t believe we’ve met, name’s Poe Dameron. I live next door to Rey.”

“Luke Skywalker, I’m Rey’s…father.” Luke still hadn’t really figured out how to introduce himself to people when it came to Rey. There had been a few instances where he had mentioned he was Rey’s foster parent and Luke never wanted to see that look of humiliation on Rey’s face again. So, he decided to stick to dad, and figured if they knew Rey well enough, they would understand the situation.

Poe was one of those people.

“It’s so nice to meet you Mr. Skywalker.”

“No need to worry about formalities around us son.” Han chimed in as he went over to the fridge to grab a few beers.

“Rey, you look absolutely beautiful, you should wear your hair like that more often.” Leia said. “Any special reason you dressed so nice?” She asked in a more hushed tone while sneaking a peak at Poe.

Rey felt her face heat up and reacted quickly, “no, no particular reason.”

“So Rey, where’s Jack to be found on this fine evening?” Han quipped.

“Um, not sure, I haven’t spoken to him that recently.” Rey responded while staring towards the ground, hoping this conversation would end quickly.

Poe noticed how uncomfortable Rey had become and quickly jumped in, “who’s ready for some dinner?”

“Poe was kind enough to cook for us tonight.” Rey said as they all sat at the table while Poe placed plates of delicious looking food in front of them.

“Thank god, you always sucked at cooking.” Ben mocked.

“Shut up!” Rey responded while kicking him under the table.

“It’s probably my fault, I never did really cook for us did I? I usually burned everything,” Luke laughed.

“Poe this looks delicious, thank you for making it.” Leia spoke as she scooped a forkful into her mouth.

“I hope everyone likes it.”

Everyone did like it, in fact, it was the most delicious meal Rey had eaten in a long time. She was beyond grateful that Poe had helped her out. Rey noticed after they had all finished eating and sat around the table that Poe’s arm had snaked around her chair and rested along her back. She felt content to lean against it and feel the warmth and comfort Poe offered. Rey snuck a glance at Poe out of the corner of her eye while Ben and Luke discussed Luke’s recent travels. Poe seemed to catch her stare and offered her an earnest smile. She knew she had made a critical mistake when Rey noticed Han eyeing them. She excused herself and brought her plate over to the sink, taking a moment to breathe.

When Rey returned to the table, she felt as though her family’s eyes were all on her.

“So, when did you finally kick him to the curb?” Han questioned blatantly.

“Pardon?” _Please don’t be talking about what I think you’re talking about._

“Jack, it’s obvious you two aren’t together anymore.” Her uncle replied.

“Han!” Leia snapped towards her husband.

“What makes you say that?” Rey asked a little offended at his tone.

“You and Poe haven’t stopped making bedroom eyes at each other since we got here.”

Rey definitely knew her face was a dark shade of crimson by now.

“Han that’s enough! Leave the poor girl alone!” Leia said as she swatted at his arm.

Both Luke and Ben had sunk away uncomfortably in their chairs, not wanting to get involved in this conversation.

Poe hurriedly jumped in, “look, Rey and I are just friends, that’s it, I swear.”

“Yeah, sure kid, just don’t get her pregnant or I swear to Christ I’ll come after you with my bare hands.”

“Oh my god,” Rey cursed as she covered her face with her hands.

Han stood up to clear his plate and Luke and Ben followed suit, sensing Rey needed a minute before she lost it.

Poe and Leia stayed next to her as Rey waited for the feeling of humiliation to leave. _Why did he have to say that to Poe?_

Poe decided to give Rey a minute for herself and stood to clean the kitchen as the rest of the family retired to the living room.

“I apologize for Han’s behavior, you know how he is, and he didn’t mean any harm.” Leia soothed as she rubbed Rey’s back.

“Honey, you know you can talk to me about anything right?” Rey finally glanced up at her aunt and knew it was time to tell her what happened. She realized they didn’t have much privacy where they were and Poe was in earshot.

As if he sensed her need, Poe looked out the window above the sink and spoke, “it’s a beautiful night out, perfect weather to go sit on the swing under the tree. Have you done that yet Rey? It’s really nice.”

_Thank you Poe_ , Rey sighed to herself.

Rey and Leia walked out to the communal backyard and sat on the bench swing that connected between two trees. It really was beautiful out here.

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” Leia offered with one of her nonjudgmental glances.

Rey proceeded to tell her aunt about how Jack had been treating her lately and about the night she stayed at Poe’s flat after Jack almost assaulted her. Leia was proud of Rey for standing up to him and breaking things off. Rey still couldn’t find it in her to forgive herself for staying in the relationship as long as she did.

“Do you think you have feelings for Poe?” Her aunt finally asked.

Rey sat in contemplation for a while before answering, “I think I might. But I feel like it’s too soon, I mean, I just got out of a relationship.”

“Honey, what you had with Jack wasn’t a relationship. Sure you went out for a few months, but what you felt wasn’t love, and he sure as hell didn’t feel love either. I don’t see any harm in testing out the waters with Poe, it’s pretty clear he likes and cares about you.”

Rey offered her aunt a confused look.

“Rey, a man who just wants to be “friends” doesn’t hold a crying girl after she’s had a nightmare, or offer to cook dinner for her family and then clean up after. I mean hell, it isn’t even his flat!” Leia chuckled.

“I’m just scared.” Rey admitted.

“Of what?”

“…Of not being enough for him. There’s such a huge age difference between us and he’s experienced so much more than me. He deserves someone who’s on the same level as him, who can give him what he needs.” Rey flushed as she stared down at her hands, she’d never been this open to Leia about this sort of thing.

“If a man isn’t willing to wait for you, then he’s not worth your time. And if I’m being honest with you, what you just listed sounds like a lot of excuses and things I just don’t see being an issue with Poe. From everything you’ve told me about him and everything I’ve witnessed, he seems like a very nice young man.” Leia smiled, offering Rey some reassurance.

“Maybe you’re right, I mean, I haven’t ever felt what I do with Poe with someone before. He just makes me so happy and I feel safe around him.”

Just then, the gate to the backyard entrance opened and Poe came walking towards them with two cups of tea and a blanket to throw over their legs.

“Wouldn’t want you ladies to catch a cold.”

After Poe went back inside, Leia added, “Oh yeah, he’s a keeper.”


	7. More than okay

Leia and Rey went back into the house after it got a little too cold out. Luke, Ben, Han, and Poe were sitting in the living room, drinking and talking. Leia pulled up a kitchen chair and sat next to her husband. Rey took a chance and sat next to Poe on the couch that was already inhabited by two people. She had to squish so close to him, she was practically in his lap. Poe didn’t seem to mind as he threw his arm over the back of the couch, allowing her to sidle up to him more comfortably.

They all fell into easy conversation and Rey was so happy that Luke had surprised her with being home. She hated that he missed her moving into her new flat and everything that went on with Jack. Even though Rey often wondered about her biological parents, Luke was the only person who truly took care of her out of the goodness of his own heart. Han and Leia had also welcomed Rey with open arms and never made her feel like she wasn’t part of the family.

It was getting late and everyone decided it was time to go home. Rey and Poe said their goodbyes to her family and soon enough it was just the two of them sitting in her now quiet, flat.

“Thank you for everything you did tonight Poe, I seriously couldn’t have done it without you.” Rey said.

“Don’t mention it, I had a nice time. Your family is quite eccentric but I really like them.” Poe chuckled.

“Yeah, sorry about my uncle, I hope he didn’t freak you out with all that relationship talk, it was just nonsense.”

“It doesn’t have to be nonsense.” Poe hummed almost inaudibly.

Rey thought maybe she didn’t hear him right, is he talking about them dating? _Maybe Leia was right._

“Look, I know you just got out of a relationship and I can’t imagine the shit you’re going through right now, but you should know that when you’re ready, I’m here.”

“Poe-“

“Don’t respond now, just take time to think about it, okay?” Poe interjected.

Poe reached behind him for the door knob and turned towards Rey one last time. He bent down to kiss her on the cheek until Rey impulsively reacted by moving her head so their lips met. Poe was startled to find himself kissing Rey but quickly got over it when he realized how right it felt. Rey’s lips were soft and sweet and Poe found he couldn’t get enough of her.

Rey felt her body warm all the way to her toes as Poe leaned into the kiss while putting his hands on her hip. She felt safe in his arms when they pulled away but were still wrapped up in each other.

“…I thought about it,” Rey smirked with a toothy grin as Poe laughed.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Rey assured.

“I want to take you out tomorrow night, are you free?”

“I get off work at five, any time after that, I’m all yours.” Rey smiled cunningly.

“I’ll pick you up at seven.” Poe opened the door to walk out, “you look really pretty by the way. It felt weird to say that before but you know,” Poe winked before he left Rey’s flat.

She stood with her back to the front door and waited until the butterflies settled down in her stomach, then ran to call Jessika on the phone and tell her what happened.

* * *

Rey had been anxious all day at work waiting for her date with Poe tonight. She was more excited than nervous but all she wanted to do was leave the office and get ready. She only had ten minutes left before she had to punch out so she started gathering her things together.

Rey noticed her boss walk out of his office and head towards her desk. _Shit._

“Hey Rey, I need you to stay a few more hours, I have a meeting with the heads of the engineering department and need you to sit in and take notes, then transcribe them on the computer.”

Her heart fell immediately but recognized she couldn’t say no, of course she had to stay.

“Okay,” She said solemnly.

After he left, Rey picked up her phone to call Poe, then realized she didn’t have his number. Rey cursed herself for being so dumb as to not ask for his number by now. They’ve known each other long enough for god’s sake.

She hoped Poe would understand but had a pit in her stomach at the thought of Poe thinking she stood him up.

 

 

Rey got home around nine and was exhausted, but knew she had to go and find Poe to explain what happened. She dropped her stuff off and went over to his door. Rey knocked and hoped she wasn’t waking him up. A few seconds later, Poe opened the door wearing sweatpants and a white t shirt.

“Before you say anything, I am so sorry about tonight. My boss said I had to stay late for a meeting and I tried to call you but realized I didn’t have your number so I had no way of getting in touch with you-“

“Rey!” Poe exasperated, stopping her in the middle of her explanation.

“…It’s okay, I figured something came up, I didn’t think you stood me up or anything.”

“Oh. So you’re not mad?” Rey asked.

“Of course not, you couldn’t help it.”

Rey was so used to getting yelled at or scolded by Jack, it hadn’t really occurred to her that that wasn’t a normal reaction to something happening.

“Have you even eaten dinner yet?” Poe questioned in a concerned tone.

Rey shook her head and Poe stood aside to allow her to enter his apartment.

“Come on, I’ll make something for you.” He offered generously.

Rey smiled to herself at Poe’s kindness and thoughtfulness, he always seemed to put her first. He led her over to his couch and handed her the remote as she curled up into herself; she was so comfortable. Poe set off to his kitchen to make her dinner and Rey felt her eyes get heavy with exhaustion as she watched the TV mindlessly.

It didn’t seem like she had been out very long when Poe walked over to her and gently woke her with a plate of food in his hand. Rey gratefully accepted the warm plate of syrupy pancakes as Poe sat next to her. Before Rey could stop herself, a moan escaped her lips when she ate a forkful. _Everything he makes is so delicious._

Poe glanced over at her with a smug look on his face, “That good huh?”

Rey rolled her eyes as she took her foot and lightly hit Poe’s leg as he laughed.

“Do you always work this late?” Poe asked.

“I’d say at least once a week my boss asks me to some menial task that will require me to stay after hours. It’s such bullshit, I mean, I’ve been at the company for two years and not once have I been promoted or even gotten a raise. I expected to be at least working in the engineering department by now, even as an assistant or something.”

“Have you looked for jobs elsewhere?”

“To be honest, I’m nervous to make the leap to quit. It’s a stable income and more than I would be making starting out somewhere new. Plus, they offer a program that would allow me to go to grad school and they would pay for me to do it. The catch is, I would obviously still have to be working for them.”

“All of that sounds nice and all, but if you’re not happy with what you’re doing and it’s causing you more stress than it’s worth, I would rethink your options.”

_I’ve never really thought about it like that, maybe he’s right._

Rey nodded and put her empty plate on the side table. She scooted down a little more into the cozy sofa and put her legs over Poe’s lap. He took a blanket off the back of the couch and laid it over her. Poe didn’t have the heart to tell her she should go back to her place and sleep in her bed, she had been over here so much in the past week, it almost felt normal.

 

 

Rey awoke a little disoriented when she found herself sprawled out on a couch, not in her flat. Once again, she realized she was at Poe’s. _How do I always end up here?_ Rey looked around for the man she felt herself attracted to the more time she spent with, and saw him sitting in a chair by the window in the living room, playing a guitar and humming to himself. She looked over at the clock on the wall to see it was past midnight.

Poe turned around when he heard Rey stir awake, “hey sunshine, I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, you didn’t.” Rey swung her feet in front of her and moved to sit on the edge of the couch.

“What are you doing up so late?” She added.

“Bad dreams.” He responded simply while looking out the window.

“I never knew you played guitar.” Rey quickly changed the subject noticing that it seemed like Poe wasn’t really up for talking about it.

“Yeah, it’s something I learned when I was a kid, and as I got older I found I enjoyed writing and playing music, but it’s not really something I talk about a lot.”

“Why not?”

“Every time I tell someone I sing or play they always ask why I don’t perform out, or make a career of it. The thing is, it’s just something I enjoy for myself you know? Not something I exactly want the world to hear.”

Rey nodded in understanding and pulled the blanket around her shoulders, shivering a little. Poe looked at her with care and set his guitar on the floor next to him to wave her over. Rey stood up apprehensively and walked over to where he sat. Poe outstretched his arms and motioned for her to sit on his lap. Rey smirked to herself and sat down, curling her legs into a fetal position. Poe instinctively wrapped his arms around her and moved his hands up and down her arms to warm her. Rey sighed and leaned back a little more relaxed, into Poe.

“Is this okay?” Poe murmured tenderly.

“More than okay.”


	8. What happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahoo! I got another chapter up only two days after my last update. I had a massive writing session tonight and got a couple of chapters done that I'm really proud of. Obviously I want to share them all with you guys as soon as possible so here's another update. I hope you like it!

Rey walked into the Chinese restaurant quickly, she was running late as usual for her lunch date with Finn. She hadn’t seen her best friend as much as she had wanted to recently and they both decided to fix that. They chose to meet at their favorite place to eat from university. They met their freshman year and had been best friends ever since.

“Hey there stranger, took you long enough.” Finn joked as he stood up to give Rey a hug.

“I know, I’m so sorry. My asshole boss made me stay into my lunch break to finish some paperwork.”

“You still working at that crap shoot, peanut? I thought you would have quit by now and found a better job.”

“Don’t even get me started.” Rey scoffed as she rolled her eyes and picked up her menu.

The waitress walked over and they ordered drinks and their meals. They ordered the same dishes every time they came here, pork fried rice and sweet and sour chicken to split between the two. It was a comforting tradition they had, it was one less thing they had to think about.

“So, how are things going with Poe?” Finn asked sneakily.

“Didn’t take you long did it? If you must know…things are going really well.” Rey smiled brightly.

“He treating you well?”

“Yes Finn, I promise. Sometimes I don’t even believe he really exists with how much of a gentleman he is. I mean, he literally cooked for my entire family and then cleaned up the kitchen after. He wouldn’t even let us help.”

“He hasn’t pressured you into anything?” Finn questioned frankly.

“Finn, no!”

“Hey, it’s my job as your best friend to make sure your new man is treating you right, especially after what happened last time.” Finn mumbled.

“Low blow,” Rey couldn’t believe he had just brought that up.

“Sorry that I’m a little upset that you felt like you couldn’t come to me about something like that.”

“I didn’t tell anyone Finn, it was nothing personal against you and you know it.” Rey defended.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything, let’s just change the subject."

Rey began to feel a little lightheaded as the waitress brought over their plates of food. Finn noticed her staring at them blankly and swaying a little.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ve just been having these dizzy spells lately, I think I’m just tired and overworked.”

“Maybe you should see a doctor?” He suggested.

“No, I’ll be okay, it’s gone now, see?” Rey said as she scooped the food onto her plate.

Finn eyed her warily and made a mental note to watch her for any indication that she was going to pass out.

“When was the last time you took a day off?”

“Sunday,” Rey said.

“Doesn’t count.”

“Finn, you know how my boss is, if I even hinted at wanting a day off he would probably fire me.”

“That’s not right Rey.”

“Well what am I going to do? I can’t quit my job, in case you didn’t notice, I enjoy being able to pay rent.”

“Well duh, you live next to Poe.” Finn joked.

“I’ll admit, that doesn’t hurt.”

“So, is Ben still with Talia?” Finn asked, changing the subject.

“I think so. He doesn’t exactly talk about his love life with me but I haven’t heard otherwise.” Rey said as she took a bite of chicken.

“I’ll never understand how those two found each other, they are complete opposites.”

“I know, but if they’re both happy, who are we to judge?”

Finn and Rey caught up a bit more and then paid for their meal. Rey hooked her arm with Finn’s as they walked out of the restaurant. She didn’t want to admit it, but she felt even worse than she did earlier. Finn begged Rey to let him walk her back to the office when he saw how unsteady she was. He didn’t realize how unsteady until she stopped dead in her tracks and held onto his arm for dear life.

“Rey, are you alright?”

Rey heard Finn speaking but couldn’t decipher what he was saying. She started getting tunnel vision and everything sounded like she was underwater. The next thing she knew, her vision went black.

* * *

 

Rey woke in an unfamiliar place. She was staring at a white, sterile ceiling, and all she heard was beeping around her. She lifted her head to see she was lying in a hospital bed. _What am I doing in the hospital?_

To her right, she saw Poe sleeping in the most uncomfortable looking chair. It was dark outside, but she couldn’t tell what time it was. Poe must have sensed her stirring because he jolted awake and looked right at her with relief.

“Hey sweetheart, welcome back.” He moved his chair to sit right next to her bed and took her hand in his.

“What happened?”

“You were walking with Finn when you fainted on the sidewalk. Luckily, he caught you so you didn’t hit your head on the pavement.”

Rey began to remember the afternoon, her walking with Finn, and then this horrible feeling wash over her.

“You never told me you hadn’t been feeling well.”

“I just figured it was overexertion and a good night's sleep would make it go away.”

Just then, a woman in a white coat entered the room and smiled when she saw Rey awake.

“Hi there, I’m Dr. Barnes, I’ve been in charge of your care while you’ve been here. How are you feeling?”

“Fine I guess, not as crappy as before. Do you know why I passed out?”

“We ran some tests and most everything seemed normal, it doesn’t look like it was just one cause that made you faint. Your white blood cell count is a little elevated so your body might be fighting a flu or some sort of virus, but I wanted to ask you some questions before I send you on your merry way with some medication.”

“Okay.”

“How have your sleeping patterns been, do you find you rest well at night, get at least eight hours?”

Rey glanced at Poe who shot her a knowing look. _You mean when I’m not plagued by nightmares?_

Rey nodded and chose to stay quiet.

“Any stressors in your life that might be affecting you emotionally, psychologically, or physically?”

“No.” _Liar._

“When was your last period, any chance you’re pregnant?”

Rey’s throat tightened and felt a blush creep on her cheeks. She saw Poe sink back uncomfortably in his chair. He didn’t know that Rey was a virgin, all he knew was they had never had sex but had no way of knowing if her and Jack had done anything. That thought made her even more sick to her stomach.

“There’s no way I’m pregnant.” Rey spoke quickly, noticing Poe’s shoulders relax a little.

“Are you sure, when was the last time you had intercourse?” _Oh my god please stop talking._

Rey wasn’t ashamed of the fact that she had saved herself for someone special, she just didn’t want to scare Poe away with this detail. They had only been dating for a week, he didn’t need to know that she had never had sex. She sure as hell wouldn’t call Jack making her get him off quickly, having sex. Rey wouldn’t blame Poe for running for the hills after finding out.

“Um, I-I don’t remember,” she shied.

“Alright, well I think I’ve ruled out more serious causes. You’re probably just overworked and possibly fighting something. That combination doesn’t go well together. I suggest taking a couple days for yourself and lay low, allow your body to recover.”

Rey cringed at the thought of having to ask for time off, but knew she was going to have to.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she takes the time she needs.” Poe chimed in.

“Good, I’ll write a prescription for antibiotics to take if you indeed end up with a virus, then you’re free to go.”

With the help of Poe, Rey sat up and swung her feet over the side of the bed. He bent down in front of her to help put her shoes on.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, there’s a peanut gallery waiting for you in the other room.”

Rey groaned and leaned her head on Poe’s shoulder.

“My entire family?”

“And Finn, Jess, Talia, and a few others I don’t know.”

“Dear god, just get me out of here.”

“Listen, I think you should stay at my place for the next couple days, just so you’ll have someone with you to help out. You need to stay as quiet as possible. I wouldn’t even mind staying at your place if that would make you more comfortable.”

Rey knew there was no use in arguing with Poe, he was going to be by her side no matter what she said. To be honest, she didn’t really mind that.

* * *

 

Rey was being escorted back into her building by an army of people. She hadn’t expected to walk into the waiting room and see most of her friends and family. She supposed it made her feel happy inside; she had been and felt alone for most of her life, she should be glad to see that so many people care about her.

However, it was early in the morning and Rey was exhausted. She appreciated the fact that Luke, Han, Leia, Jess, Finn, and even Ben wanted to make sure she made it into her flat without fainting, but in all reality, she just wanted to go to sleep and be by herself.

Leia had convinced Finn, Ben, and Jess to stay outside and wave their goodbyes while they got Rey settled inside.

“Have you decided where you want to stay?” Poe whispered.

Rey figured she didn’t have a choice as she couldn’t just say in front of her family that she wanted to stay at her boyfriend’s. _So awkward._

Actually, she realized that she hadn’t really officially told her family that her and Poe were dating. Leia had probably guessed it by now, but Luke and Han might not know. _They probably know._

As if reading her thoughts, Leia asked, “Are you going to stay at your place or Poe’s?”

“Her place of course!” Han bellowed.

“Hush up! Poe is going to stay with Rey to take care of her anyway so it doesn’t really matter where she stays, now does it?” Leia spat towards her husband.

Rey decided she would stay with Poe, that way she wouldn’t have to direct him to where everything was or have to go back to his place for food because she hadn’t gone to the store in weeks.

Han and Luke led her over to the couch while Poe went into his room to grab her some pillows.

“You guys really shouldn’t fuss so much, it’s not like I’m dying,” Rey tried.

“Nonsense, you were in the hospital, so forgive us for doting over you,” Luke said, giving Rey a kiss on the cheek.

“Now listen, if you need any of us, don’t be afraid to call, we’ll be over in a flash,” Leia spoke as she positioned the pillows behind Rey’s back.

“Feel better sweetie,” Leia brushed some hair back from her face and blew her a kiss.

“Take good care of her Poe,” Han threatened.

“Don’t worry sir, I plan to.”

With the closing of the door, her world was finally silent again. She snuggled into the pillows more as she felt Poe place a blanket around her.

“Can I get you anything love?”

Rey shook her head and suddenly found herself struggling to keep her eyes open. Sleep finally found her as she felt someone kiss her forehead.


	9. Sick

Rey woke up with a startling feeling in the pit of her stomach. She felt the heat rise in the back of her throat before leaping off the couch, towards the bathroom. As soon as she opened the door, she fell to her knees and started heaving into the toilet. She heard Poe running from the other room and step behind her. He gathered her hair back into a ponytail and started rubbing circles onto her back. Rey couldn’t remember the last time she had gotten so sick.

Just when she thought she had completely emptied her stomach, she would get the urge to vomit again. Poe never said a word as he let her work through her bout, just kept his hands on her so she knew she wasn’t alone. Rey felt the tears sting in her eyes and couldn’t help but cry after she felt her stomach settle. Everything hurt and ached, she wouldn’t be surprised if someone told her she cracked a rib.

Poe handed her a wet cloth to wipe her mouth and face with after flushing the toilet. Rey tried to stand but found she had no energy. Instead, Poe moved to sit down on the floor with her and cradled her in his lap. It felt nice to lay her head on his shoulder as he rubbed her back and sore muscles. Rey didn’t even have enough sense to be embarrassed at the moment, all she cared about was the comfort Poe provided.

“You’ll be okay honey, in a little while I think you should try taking some of the medicine the hospital gave us. I think it’s safe to say you have a flu.”

“I don’t want to get you sick,” Rey mumbled struggling to remain conscious.

“Shh, don’t worry about me, just worry about getting yourself better.”

Poe felt Rey fall asleep in his arms shortly after. He sat with her on the floor for about an hour before she woke up to be sick again. _This poor girl can’t catch a break._

After throwing up a second time, Rey truly believed there couldn’t be anything left in her stomach. She rinsed her mouth and with Poe’s help, walked to his bed. Rey was pretty much relying on Poe to keep her standing but he didn’t seem to mind. He pulled down the sheets as Rey laid down on her back while Poe covered her back up. After sleeping on the bathroom floor, Poe’s bed felt incredible. He brushed her sweaty hair out of her eyes and planted another kiss to her forehead. Even though Rey felt physically drained, she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to fall asleep.

She watched Poe walk into the other room and return with his guitar in hand. Rey felt herself smile and turned on her side as Poe climbed into bed with her. He sat back against the pillows comfortably, and softly began strumming chords. After playing for a few minutes, Rey closed her eyes and heard Poe begin to sing. It was an old folk song that Rey had heard once or twice before, but it sounded magical coming from the man next to her.

Poe looked down at Rey to see she had finally closed her eyes. He could tell how tired she was but her mind wasn’t allowing her to fall asleep after all the adrenaline. Poe figured that maybe if he played some music, he could put her mind at ease, and he guessed it worked. He happily watched the woman he was falling for breathe deeply and contently. Even in her state of illness, Poe thought she was beautiful.

He put his guitar on the floor next to the bed and turned to face Rey, laying down a bit more. He couldn’t help himself as he wrapped his arms around his sick girlfriend. All Poe wanted was to take her pain and suffering away. He gently, as to not wake her, ran his hand through her hair and continued to kiss her temple. Poe’s other hand went to the small of Rey’s back and drew her in closer to him. He felt Rey welcome the embrace and sighed as he held her. Poe couldn’t think of a more perfect way to spend his day.

* * *

 

Poe was panicked. He had woken up to feel Rey shaking and sweating next to him. She looked worse than she had earlier and Poe didn’t like it.

“Rey?” He asked while putting a hand on her shoulder.

Nothing.

“Rey!” Poe shouted.

He couldn’t seem to break her out of her fever. Poe ran to the bathroom and wet a washcloth with cool water, then rushed back over to Rey and put the rag on her forehead. Poe was at a loss for what to do and was about to carry Rey to the hospital. He noticed her phone sitting on the side table and grabbed it to scroll through the contacts. He found the number he was looking for and quickly dialed.

 

 

Leia must have teleported to Poe’s apartment because he had no idea how she got here so quickly, but was glad she did.

“She’s in the bedroom, still hasn’t woken up, do you think we should take her to the hospital?” Poe was talking a mile a minute, sputtering with worry.

“Do you have a thermometer?”

Poe nodded and went to the bathroom to grab it from his medical kit. It was a temporal thermometer which was lucky because Rey wasn’t even conscious enough to hold one in her mouth. Poe brought it over to Leia who took Rey’s temperature by running it across her forehead.

“She’s got a pretty bad fever, but not bad enough that I think she has to go to the emergency room. Her body will do what it needs to, to return back to normal. We just might have to help her along.”

“What can we do?” Poe asked.

Leia thought for a moment as she watched her niece shake and sweat herself into exhaustion, “Here, help me get her clothes off, we can make some ice packs and put cold towels around her. That should help to break the fever.” Leia continued as she moved to Rey’s other side.

“Um, I don’t know if Rey would be comfortable with me doing that while she was unconscious,” Poe hesitated.

“Oh hush, I know you’ve already done this once before when you two weren’t even dating. We’ll leave on her undergarments if it will make you feel better.” Leia noticed how red Poe’s face had gotten and chuckled to herself.

“At least I know you’re one of the good ones if you don’t want to see my niece naked.” Leia added.

 _Want and should are two very different things_ , Poe didn’t want a moment that private and special to happen without Rey’s knowledge or consent.

After he helped Leia remove Rey’s shirt and sweatpants, Poe went to the kitchen to make some bags of ice. When he returned to the bedroom, Leia was already wrapping wet towels around Rey’ forehead, chest, and waist. Poe placed ice packs around Rey’s ankles, armpits, and along the sides of her stomach, where Leia had told him. As soon as they stepped back, Poe noticed Rey had stopped sweating and trembling so much. He took a minute to sigh in relief and compose himself. He had been so terrified for Rey this morning that he hadn’t realized how much tension he had been holding.

“Are you alright dear?”

Poe turned to see Leia eyeing him concernedly, “Yeah, I’m fine.” He shot her an unconvincing smile and went to grab a chair from the kitchen. He brought it into the bedroom and sat it next to the bed. Poe found comfort in watching her sleep while holding her hand. He hoped she would wake soon and not be in any more pain.

* * *

 

The first thing Rey noticed was how cold she was and how much her head hurt. Her vision was blurry but she could hear someone calling her name. The voice was familiar and warm, one she had heard before. Someone was also holding her hand.

As her vision cleared, she saw Poe sitting next to her smiling sweetly, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, murmuring endearments.

“We gotta stop meeting like this, huh honey?” Poe quipped.

Rey laughed even though it caused her pain, she was filled with happiness. She always seemed to wake up to Poe these days, and she didn’t have one complaint about it. As her mind stopped being so foggy, she remembered how cold she was. Rey wrapped her arms around herself and came to the horrifying conclusion that she wasn’t wearing any clothes.

Poe noted Rey looking herself over and saw how it must have looked to her, “Before you freak out, you had a really bad fever and were unconscious and I couldn’t wake you, so we had to take your clothes off to cool you down with icepacks and towels.”

Rey tried to process what he just described, “We?”

“Oh, yeah, well when I couldn’t wake you, I panicked and called your aunt.”

Just then, Leia appeared at the door with a cup of tea in hand. Rey remembered she was in her underwear and scrambled for a blanket.

“Relax dear, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. How are you feeling, it looks like your fever broke.” She said as she handed Rey the mug and put a hand to her forehead.

“Besides everything hurting, I do feel a little better.”

“Here, take these.” Leia spoke as she handed Rey some medicine the hospital had given her.

Rey tucked the bed sheet under her arms and took the pills.

“If you’re truly feeling better, I think I’m going to head home. Han is clueless if I don’t make him dinner.”

“Thank you so much Auntie.” Rey offered.

Leia leaned over Rey and gave her a kiss on the forehead, then gave Poe a pat on the shoulder.

“Besides, you’re in good hands.” Leia winked at Rey and walked to leave the flat.

Rey directed her eyes back to Poe and spoke blushingly, “I would have worn something nicer if I’d known you were going to see my underwear.”

Poe snapped his head towards her, surprised by her boldness, and admittedly, remembering her box of lingerie he accidently saw the first time he met her.

“Wow, I guess you are feeling better if your mind is going to that…” Poe teased.

Rey’s cheeks flushed but he noticed something else in her gaze, it was almost somber.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked as he took her hand again.

Rey gave a false smile and nodded her head, hoping Poe would drop the subject.

“Are you hungry, can I get you something?”

“Sure.”

Poe walked out to the kitchen to grab Rey some homemade chicken noodle soup he had made while she was out, hoping that she would be hungry once she woke up.

He came back with a bowl and handed it to Rey whose eye’s seemed to light up when she saw its contents. Poe sat in bed next to her once again and watched as she took her first bite. He cockily waited for her compliment to come and was filled with confidence when she sighed favorably.

“So how good is it?”

Rey rolled her eyes but responded anyway, “really good.”

Rey quickly finished her food as Poe hadn’t given her much. He wanted to let her stomach settle before she tried eating anything too crazy. She turned to face him a little more and didn’t realize that the bed sheet had fallen down a little, revealing the top of her bust. Poe’s eyes mistakenly fell to where the sheet had and cleared his throat as he looked away uncomfortably. Rey flushed once she discovered where Poe had been looking and moved further down in bed so the sheet covered her up to her shoulders.

“Sorry,” Poe apologized hurriedly.

“It’s okay,” Rey supposed.

“I was just teasing you before, you know I don’t expect anything from you, right?”

“I know,” Rey nodded.

“Here,” Poe began as he got off the bed and went over to his dresser, pulling out one of his old shirts for her to wear.

Rey appreciatively grabbed it and pulled the soft material over her head. She loved that it smelled like him.

Poe sat back down on the bed and put his feet up comfortably while putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes.

“Are you going to sleep?” Rey asked confused.

“Maybe, unless you have something else in mind sweetheart.” Poe joked again.

Rey got that same look in her eye that she did when he teased about sex before. It didn’t make Poe feel very good and he wanted to know what was wrong.

“Talk to me, what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing Poe,” Rey tried.

“I can see that something’s on your mind, you know you can tell me anything?”

 _Well I can’t exactly just come out and say that I’ve never had sex and I’m scared to._ Even though Poe expressed that he didn’t expect sex from her, she wondered how long he would be able to hold out. She assumed he wouldn’t mind if they waited a couple weeks, but what if she wanted to wait a couple months? Years even? Rey realized she was insinuating to herself that she would be with Poe in a couple years, and she didn’t know that. The thought of her and Poe not being together made her incredibly sad, especially if it was due to her being too afraid of being intimate with him.

“Rey,”

Poe snapped her out of her thoughts, staring at her expectantly.

“It’s nothing, really. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Saying it’s nothing and not wanting to talk about it are two different things.”

Rey was caught, she really did want to talk to Poe about her fears but she was scared he would leave her once he found out.

“Do you know why I left Florida and moved here?” Poe began, hoping if he shared something personal, Rey would too.

She shook her head.

“My mom had just passed away and it was a difficult time for me. I had joined the Air Force because of her; she was a pilot back in the day. Ever since I was a little kid, I idolized her, wanted to be just like her. She was killed in a drunk driving accident. The guy who did it was fined, not even charged with manslaughter because they said he wasn’t in his right mind. He wasn’t crazy, he was drunk. I saw him after the trial outside of the courthouse and just attacked him. The doctors said it was PTSD from my time in the military. I was honorably discharged from active duty and told to take a sabbatical. Few weeks later I found out that my girlfriend had been cheating on me for god knows how long. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back and I just decided to move away from it all. So I came here.” Poe stopped to take a breath.

Maybe he shouldn’t have divulged all of that to Rey, it was too early in their relationship for her to know how much baggage he carried. He looked up towards her nervously and noticed tears in her eyes.

“Poe, I’m so sorry. How can something like that happen to someone like you? It isn’t fair,” she said as she moved to cradle Poe’s head in her arms.

He had to admit, it felt nice being held by Rey. His head was resting on her shoulder and her hand was gently rubbing the back of his neck. He settled into her a little more and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“They say bad things happen in threes,” Poe chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little.

He pulled his head up once Rey dropped her grip and took a moment to look at her. He could tell she wanted to talk to him but didn’t seem to know where to begin.

She hesitated, “Promise me that when I tell you this, you won’t laugh at me or walk out the door.”

Poe began to feel a little nervous at what she was going to tell him, “I promise.”

“I-I’ve never…ugh why is this so difficult to say?” Rey cringed as she covered her face with both hands. _Maybe it’ll be easier to say if I’m not looking at him._

“I’ve never…gone all the way with someone before,” Rey spat out finally, feeling her cheeks grow red with heat.

“You mean like, had sex?” Poe wondered, feeling his heart rate elevate slightly.

“Well, I mean, I’ve done some stuff before but not like, um, shit.” Rey’s head was spinning and she started to feel nauseous again when she felt like what she was trying to say was coming out wrong.

“Rey,” Poe said as he took her shoulders in his hands, trying to steady her, “it’s okay if you’re a virgin.”

“It is? It doesn’t scare you?”

“What? Why would it scare me? I think it’s great that you’ve saved yourself, not many girls have.” Poe tried encouraging her as he saw how truly mortified Rey was telling him this fact about her. Poe knew she was a lot younger than he was and figured she hadn’t had much experience, but it never really bothered him once he got out of his own head.

“Can I ask what stopped you?” Poe didn’t know if it was an appropriate question to ask, but it kind of just fell out of his mouth.

“I guess I just didn’t meet the right guy. Jack and I did some stuff but it wasn’t really a good experience so I never wanted to go further. Hence our big fight that night and some prior.” Rey spoke hugging her knees to her chest. She never really talked about this with anyone before.

She prayed Poe wouldn’t ask further questions about her experiences with Jack. She didn’t want him to know that Jack had pretty much forced her to do stuff to him and it wasn’t something she was proud of. It was also part of the reason the idea of being intimate with Poe freaked her out; she figured all men were like that. Weren’t they?

“Why were you so afraid to tell me you’re a virgin, and why did you think I would leave you because of it?

“I don’t know. It’s just that, you have so much more experience than I do and I can only imagine the beautiful women you’ve been with and have your choice of, and for some reason you chose me. I feel like I have to prove myself worth staying for or something. I can’t give you what I’m sure most other women can and I feel awful about it.” Rey divulged, slowly breaking Poe’s heart word by word.

“Rey, you have nothing to prove. Like I said before, I don’t expect anything from you. I would never want to do something you’re not comfortable with. How could I expect to enjoy myself if you’re not? I’m more than happy to wait for when you’re ready.” Poe said considerately as he sidled up to her and wrapped an arm around her back, hugging Rey to him.

“I’m sorry you were so nervous to tell me, if I did or said anything to make you uncomfortable, I apologize.”

“Poe, you’ve been so wonderful to me. Please don’t think you’ve ever done anything to hurt me. I mean, you held my hair back when I was puking my guts out. What guy does that? I remember when I got a similar flu when I was sixteen, I’ll never forget the look on Luke’s face when I was throwing up. He wanted to take care of me so bad but he was so grossed out,” Rey giggled causing Poe to laugh too.

“Hey, my girl was sick, of course I’m going to take care of her.” Poe smirked, rubbing Rey’s arm up and down.

“You’re girl?” Rey smiled back, teasingly, even though her heart fluttered when Poe said it.

Poe blushed and ran a hand through his curly hair. Rey reacted quickly and kissed him on the cheek, trying to ease his embarrassment as he did for her.

“You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now but like you said, you were just puking your guts out a few hours ago.”

Rey laughed but swatted him lightly on the chest playfully.

“Could I have some more soup?”

“Of course sunshine, let me go get you some.”

Rey sat back and thought to herself, _how did I get so lucky?_


	10. The Gala

“I have to ask you something.” Rey said as her and Poe sat across from each other during dinner.

“Shoot,” Poe said with a mouth full of food.

They were back at their favorite pizza place around the corner from their building. It was their goal to try everything on the menu. They were only about a quarter of the way through so far.

“I have to go to this stupid gala for work because my boss will be there and I’ll probably get fired if I don’t go. So I was wondering if maybe, you would want to go with me? I mean, I get it if you don’t want to. It’s going to be so posh and filled with people kissing each other’s asses but we could just hang out in a corner and drink and eat pretty good food.” Rey scrunched her face while trying to convince her boyfriend.

“Of course I’ll go with you. I would never blow off a chance to show off my beautiful girlfriend to the world or see her dress up nice.”

“Thank you, I promise we don’t have to stay long, just like an hour or something. Long enough for my boss to see me and know I made an attempt.”

“So how do you think this meal ranks with the others?” Poe asked eyeing the pasta on his fork.

“I would put this right between the white pizza and spinach ravioli.”

“Fair enough, at least it’s better than the eggplant parmesan.”  Poe laughed.

“Yeah, that was not the best meal to have after I had just gotten over my flu.”

“We could try again down the road. I’ll make you it from scratch even.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

 

Poe had been sitting in Rey’s living room for almost a half hour. She wasn’t one of those girls that took a long time to get ready. She didn’t wear a lot of makeup or worry too much about her hair, which Poe loved. He thought she looked best without any makeup on, hair in a ponytail, and wearing sweats. Preferably, she would look like that when they were snuggling on the couch together after a long day.

So he was a little blindsided when he walked into Rey’s flat and it looked like the place exploded with girl stuff. There were hair products everywhere, makeup sitting on every counter, and at least five different dresses laying on the couch and reclining chair. Rey was running around in her nightgown, which Poe had to say, looked incredible on her. He wasn’t even sure she realized or meant for him to see her wearing such a skimpy article of clothing but it didn’t seem like she cared. She was beyond nervous about tonight and nothing seemed to be going right. She claimed she couldn’t find a dress that fit her right and her hair wasn’t doing what she wanted it to.

“My face broke out last night! Now I have to wear foundation and concealer!” She had shouted from the other room.

Poe hadn’t said much, not quite sure how to handle the situation and thought it better that he just kept his mouth shut. He was watching some sort of talent competition on television when Rey timidly peeked her head around the corner.

“Hey, can you help me with something?” She asked shyly.

Poe moved to stand up, “sure.”

When he walked into the bedroom, Poe felt himself lose his breath at the sight of Rey. She was wearing a strapless, floor-length, black gown with her hair lying in waves around her shoulders. She wore jet black eyeliner and gray, smoky eye shadow. Poe had never seen her like this and he began to feel a warm sensation start from his head and go down to his toes.

“Wow,” he sighed.

Rey blushed and moved to turn her back to him, where he noticed her dress was unzipped.

“Could you zip me up?” She asked as she held her hair to one side.

Poe swallowed the lump in his throat and moved his hand to her zipper that lay just below the small of her back. With her dress unzipped, Poe could see Rey was wearing a strapless, black, lace bra and matching underwear. He didn’t think his girlfriend could get any sexier at the moment.

Poe finished zipping her dress and Rey turned around to face him.

“How do I look?” She asked while biting her lip.

“Gorgeous.” Poe smiled, placing a chaste kiss to her lips, not thinking he could handle anything more.

“We should get going, we’re already running late.”

“Hey I was here on time, don’t drag me into this.” Poe held his hands up cheekily.

“Come on flyboy.” Rey tugged at Poe’s suit lapel.

“Flyboy? That’s a new one.”

 

 

They arrived at the party almost an hour after it started, which Rey was actually okay with. It offered her a chance to sneak in and out fairly quickly. She noticed Poe practically hadn’t taken his eyes off her since they left her flat and it was making Rey feel giddy inside. She felt like she was in primary school again and just found out the boy she had a crush on knew her name. It felt nice to be wanted and noticed, and Rey would be lying to herself if she hadn’t thought about what tonight could possibly be. She had been very particular in what dress she had chosen and what lingerie she wore. She wanted to get over her fear and be done with it, and what better night than tonight? She could loosen up with a few drinks and slowly try to convince herself that she was okay with tonight being her first time.

Poe had his hand to the small of Rey’s back and walked with her inside the hotel where the gala was being held in one of the ballrooms. As soon as they stepped in, they were thankfully offered a glass of champagne. Poe looked over at Rey and noticed how nervous she seemed.

“You okay?” He spoke into her ear.

“I’m fine, just ready to be done with this thing.”

They worked the room a little and Poe watched as Rey said hi to some of her coworkers and boss. She did a good job of putting up the act they all seemed to want even though it made him a little sick to his stomach to witness. Rey was beyond relieved when they ran into Jess and her date, Sam. They weren’t together or anything, just good friends. In fact, Rey was pretty sure Sam was gay but it never occurred to her to ask Jess, it didn’t really matter. Sam seemed like a nice guy and he and Poe got on a tangent about new fighter pilot designs while Rey and Jessika spilled about the goings on at the party.

They all found a table in the corner and grabbed a few more drinks and some finger food. Rey didn’t know they weren’t going to be served a proper meal, if she had, she would have eaten earlier. Poe and Sam left to get the girls more food which left them sitting at the table alone.

“You look hot girl.” Jess exclaimed.

“Shut up.” Rey rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious, you never try to look that nice at work functions. Does a certain gentleman have anything to do with your appearance?” Jess slyly asked.

“So what if it does? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look nice for your significant other.” Rey defended.

“I’m just saying, with you looking like that, you better get some tonight!” Jess sniggered.

“Jessika!”

Unfortunately, it was at that point the boys chose to return to the table with food.

“Everything okay?” Poe asked, confused at Rey’s outburst.

“Oh, yeah, Jess just said something I wasn’t expecting, inside joke type of thing,” Rey scrambled for words while taking a sip of alcohol.

After another hour or so, Jess and Sam decided to call it a night and left Poe and Rey to their own devices. Rey was currently leaning against Poe while he rubbed her arm soothingly. She was beginning to feel the alcohol take affect but not enough that she actually felt drunk, just more relaxed.

“Wanna head home hun?” Poe inquired.

Never mind. The nerves were back in full force. Rey took one last swig of her champagne and stood from the table while linked with Poe’s arm. She remained quiet on the taxi ride home and chose to stare out the window instead of looking at Poe.

He helped her out of the taxi and walked hand in hand through their building. Finally they stopped in front of Rey’s door.

“Do you want to come inside?” Rey hated that her voice shook and cracked.

“Sure,” Poe answered unassumingly.

They walked in and Poe made himself at home on her couch, taking his shoes off and loosening his tie. Rey took off her heels and took a minute to try and calm her breathing. She made her way over to Poe and surprised him by sitting on his lap.

“Whoa, hey there beautiful,” Poe said in his low, sweet voice that Rey loved so much.

She tried to focus on his comforting hands that were placed on her hips as she bent down to gently kiss his lips. They were soft and warm and opened a little to allow her more access. Rey moved slightly so that each knee rested on either side of Poe’s lap. He began to get lost in the moment and rubbed his hands up and down Rey’s back, inching lower and lower. Rey confidently slid her tongue along Poe’s bottom lip which caused a low moan to escape from him.  

His hands moved from her backside to her ankles and began roaming his hands higher up her legs, underneath her dress. This was the most heated they had gotten in the few weeks they had been together. Poe was always so careful and gentlemanly around her, it was nice that he was letting go a little. Rey was trying to convince herself that she wasn’t panicking as she felt Poe’s hands resting on her bare thighs. As they ventured higher, Poe felt Rey tense and immediately realized what he was doing. He broke their kiss and glanced at Rey to see the discomfort in her eye. He gently pushed her off his lap and shot off the couch, pacing back and forth, running a hand through his hair.

“Poe?”

“I’m so sorry Rey, I didn’t mean to get so caught up and I-” Poe sighed and looked like he was disgusted with himself. 

“No, it’s my fault. If I hadn’t gotten nervous we wouldn’t have had to stop and the moment wouldn’t have been ruined.” Poe noticed the tears beginning to well in Rey’s eyes.

“Hey, hey, you did nothing wrong,” Poe hushed as he returned to the couch and put a hand to Rey’s back as he watched a tear fall down her cheek.

“See this is what I was talking about! Why do you even bother with someone like me? I’m broken! I can’t even have sex with my boyfriend!” Rey began to really cry at this point and Poe wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms, so he did.

“You are NOT broken sweetheart. We haven’t been going out for very long, I would never expect you to be ready for this step yet. I want this to mean something and for you to enjoy yourself. We just have to let it happen naturally, and not put so much pressure on yourself. It will happen when it’s supposed to, and it won’t be after we’ve had a few too many or when you’ve had a long night talking to people you don’t like.” Rey laughed at that and Poe took a moment to wipe her tears with his sleeve.

“Now you have black makeup on your shirt,” Rey spoke through the shallow breathes.

“You’re the one that put the sexy eyeliner on.” Poe whispered.

Rey bit her lip, “you really think I look sexy?”

“Dear god Rey, you have no idea.” Poe sighed as he laid his head on her shoulder.

Rey smiled and closed her eyes at the sensation.

“I just figured if I dressed up for you and looked my best it would make this easier or something. Make you want me.” Rey confided.

“Rey, believe me, I want you. But also believe me when I say that I have no problem waiting. Besides, I think you look just as sexy without any makeup on and when you wear my old shirt, as you do right now.”

Rey flushed red and felt the need to kiss Poe one more time, this was already less hurried and more tender. She snuggled in his lap and laid her head on his chest, listening to his steady breathing.


	11. Movie Night

Rey could smell the popcorn popping from the other room. She and Poe had invited Jess and Finn over for a movie night and Rey had run into the other room to change into more comfortable clothes after a long work day. She was more than happy that it was the weekend and she didn’t have to go back to that awful place for a couple days.

They had been dating for a little over two months now and Poe had become pretty close with Rey’s friends. He claimed he enjoyed hanging out with them more than his friends from work. So far, Rey had only had the pleasure of meeting Poe’s best friend Snap. Poe said everyone else was kind of a jerk and he’d much rather hang out with Finn.

It had become somewhat of a tradition that every Friday night, Rey would invite people over to her flat for a movie night. Sometimes it would just be Finn, Poe and her, sometimes Ben and Talia would make an appearance and once even Luke showed up. They had been showing Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, which was his favorite film. Tonight, it was Poe’s turn to pick the film and to Rey’s complete and utter shock, he had chosen Sixteen Candles.

“You want to watch a John Hugh’s movie?” Rey had asked trying to contain a laugh.

“Yeah! They are the best, and this one is my favorite.” Poe explained, surprised by Rey’s reaction.

“I pegged you as a more action/adventure kind of guy.”

“Well, last week we watched Alien so I figured we would switch it up.”

“Why is this one your favorite? If I had to have guessed what John Hugh’s movie you liked best I would have gone with The Breakfast Club.”

“That’s a good one too, but I like how Sixteen Candles takes a lot of clichés that tended to be in 80’s movies and threw them out the window. The popular jock guy isn’t actually the jerk and is the only one that remembers it’s her birthday. Then brings her a cake and they have this cute little romantic moment at the end where they kiss over it.”

“I think it’s nice that you have this adorable soft side I never knew about when it comes to movies.” Rey had moved to give him an almost patronizing kiss on the cheek.

She stepped out of her room to find Jess and Finn spread out on the floor surrounded by pillows and blankets. Poe was on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a blanket lying over his lap. She smiled and moved over to snuggle up next to him and cover herself with the soft material.

Rey’s favorite nights were one’s like tonight; wearing comfortable clothes and surrounded by some of the people she cared most about.

Subconsciously, throughout the movie, Rey had moved further down onto Poe and before she knew it, her head was lying in his lap while his hands mindlessly brushed through her long hair. Poe moved the blanket so it completely covered Rey and put a pillow under her head so she was more comfortable.

“Oh my god, her little brother is such an asshole!” Finn shouted from his place on the floor.

After Poe played with her hair for a while, his hand moved to her back where he started gently massaging her sore muscles. Rey had to try her hardest not to make noise but it just felt so good. He always knew how to relax her after a stressful day and she would be eternally grateful for that. She sometimes felt a little selfish that he always put her needs first and made sure she was always taken care of. Rey tried to repay him by letting him choose what they had for dinner or give him a neck rub when he came home with a headache, but she never felt like it was enough.

Poe moved his hand to her lower back and Rey was surprised at the sensation she felt. She almost wished his hand would move lower or that her friends weren’t here so she could at least make out with him. They were good at that, that, she could handle. It was just when she or Poe tried to instigate more that her stupid mind got in the way.

They were getting towards the end of the movie, which Rey was thankful for because she wasn’t sure how much longer she could last without climbing into Poe’s lap. About ten minutes ago, he started doing that thing she loved where he drew circles on her arms. It made her melt for some reason. She wondered if he knew what he was doing or if it was subconscious. Either way, Rey was dying to get her hands on him.

Finally, the movie ended and they bid Finn and Jess goodnight. As soon as the door closed, Rey leapt into Poe’s arms and wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Eager are we, sweetheart?” Poe said in a knowing tone.

“You have no idea how hard it was to keep quiet! What were you trying to do to me?” Rey giggled in a high pitched tone.

Poe wasn’t about to admit it to Rey but he had known exactly what he was doing. He knew how frustrated Rey was starting to become about their problems becoming intimate, and he had told her a million times already that they should wait and not rush it, but Rey didn’t seem to feel the same way. He at least figured he could try to help things along by relaxing her and getting her used to his touch gradually, without forcing it.

Poe carried Rey into her bedroom and immediately saw her become nervous. It almost felt like a broken record at this point, always starting and ending the same way. He couldn’t describe the heartbreak he felt when Rey flinched at his touch or trembled beneath him. All he wanted was to make her happy and feel safe with him. Poe honestly didn’t care if it took a lifetime for Rey and him to have sex. It wasn’t about that. It was about making his girlfriend feel loved and wanted and forget all the horrible experiences she had. Part of the problem Poe thought, was that she had never really divulged to him _what_ she had experienced. He wanted to let her come to him when she felt comfortable but Poe couldn’t help but feel that if he knew what she was afraid of, they could work through it more efficiently.

“Are you sure about this sweetheart? I don’t want to rush you,”

“I’m sure,” Rey hated how her voice quivered.

As soon as Poe put Rey down on the bed, she scooted to lay down more. Poe moved to lie down next to her and turn her to face him. He began how they always did, kissing tenderly and slowly. He was careful about where he placed his hands and made sure he broadcasted what he was doing. Poe moved his hand to rest on her bare hip where Rey’s large shirt had ridden up. _So far, so good._

Rey felt safe and warm as Poe sweetly kissed her and held her tightly to him. This felt right, this felt good. Rey decided to make the next move and hurriedly removed her shirt for Poe. He had seen her in her bra a few times but this was different, it was intimate.

“God you’re stunning,” Poe looked her over and she felt herself blush, thankful that the room was dark enough that perhaps Poe didn’t notice. He resumed kissing her but moved his lips further down her jawline and eventually went to her neck. _I’m okay, I’m okay._

Rey felt her heart rate begin to elevate but tried to concentrate that it was just her and Poe, no one else was with her except her wonderful man. Poe noticed her tense up a bit and pulled back for a moment.

“Is this okay honey, do you want to stop?” Poe always asked sweetly.

Rey shook her head and pulled him back down to her. She bravely moved her hands under his shirt to feel his toned muscles. Poe’s abs were one of Rey’s favorite things to look at. She began pulling his shirt up, motioning for him to remove it, which he did swiftly.

Their kissing began to get a little more intense and less tender. It was breathless and almost hurried, trying to keep contact with skin as much as possible. Poe moved his lips from Rey’s neck, down to her collarbone, and with a reassuring nod, to her covered breasts. This was the furthest her and Poe had gone before and she was proud of herself for not freaking out yet. _Maybe we’ll be okay. Maybe we can actually do this._

Poe decided to continue moving slow as it seemed to be working. They had never even gotten to a point where they were both shirtless and he couldn’t put into words how proud he was of Rey. She seemed happy and allowing herself to enjoy the moment, even though it could end at any second.

He slowly moved his kissing lower onto Rey’s stomach and felt her breath hitch, in a good way. He glanced up to make sure and saw her smiling fondly at him. He hooked his hands in the waistband of her shorts and waited for the go-ahead.

Rey covered his hands with hers and together, removed her shorts from her body. Poe moved back up to Rey’s mouth and kissed her again for another minute, not wanting to move any further and just enjoy this moment.

She didn’t want to tell him that she had gotten beyond anxious when her shorts were removed because he just seemed so content that they had gotten this far. Rey was glad when he had stopped there and moved back up to meet her lips. She tried to ground herself again and just try to feel his touch and caress, but it was admittedly getting harder to do. Poe shifted his weight a certain way and Rey could feel his hardness pressing into her thigh. Her breath caught and suddenly she wasn’t here with Poe; she was back in that horrible place, with that horrible man.

“Come on babe, you know you like it.” Jack was rutting himself against her leg and Rey wanted nothing more than to get out from under him and storm out his flat.

Poe instantly noticed that something was wrong. Rey had stopped responding to his touches and was shaking under him. Her face was scrunched as if in pain and silent tears were falling down her cheeks.

Their night ended how all the others had; Poe holding his sobbing girlfriend in his arms while she uttered horrible things about herself, begging Poe to leave her and find someone else. He did what he always did and peppered her wet face with kisses and rocked her until the crying had stopped. Then, whisper how good she had done, and how proud he was of her. He wasn’t sure she ever allowed herself to believe it and could only feel the self-hatred rolling off in waves. It never failed to break Poe’s heart to pieces.

Then of course, he couldn’t help but hate that he had caused this. His body had reacted like some hormone driven teenager and ruined what they had going. Now, Rey’s confidence was left in tatters and they were right back where they had started.


	12. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is still enjoying this fic, I'm not really putting a cap on how many chapters I'm going to write. I'll just see how it goes and end it when I see fit. I would love some suggestions for one-shot chapter ideas. I do have an idea where I want the general story to go but suggestions are always welcome.

Poe woke in the morning noticing Rey had shifted completely to the edge of her side of the bed, facing away from him. They hadn’t spoken much after what happened. Rey seemed to become more and more distant after such incidents occurred. It scared Poe each and every time she shut down and put up a wall between them. He wanted to help her through her pain but didn’t know how.

He rolled over to where she lay and gently began rubbing her back in soothing circles. He noticed right away that she tensed at his touch, alerting Poe to the fact that she might have been awake for a while, or maybe she hadn’t really fallen asleep at all.

“How about I run you a bath, honey?” Poe asked softly. Baths always seemed to relax Rey but because of her schedule, she didn’t get to take them often.

Rey didn’t audibly respond, just nodded her head. Poe threw the sheets off himself and walked around the bed to Rey’s side to where the door to the bathroom was. Before he walked in, he bent down to give Rey a kiss on the forehead. He could tell at this angle that she had been silently crying, making Poe feel awful that he didn’t realize she was so distraught.

It had unfortunately become routine for them to be unsuccessful with intimacy. Poe just figured Rey wasn’t ready and it would come naturally with time, but now he wasn’t so sure. He started to think; maybe this was deeper than just first time jitters or nerves because of one bad experience. Poe just wanted Rey to be honest with him and tell him what was wrong and what he could do to help her through this.

Poe ran the water and waited for the tub to fill, adding bath salts, oils, and bubbles into the mix to hopefully cheer Rey up and relax her.

The bath was finally full and he called Rey in, noticing that she had changed out of her clothes and thrown on a robe. He was about to leave her in peace, when she grabbed his hand, “stay with me?” she whispered.

Poe nodded with a smile at the first words his girlfriend had uttered to him since last night. He respectfully turned around while she shed her robe and stepped into the warm bubble bath. He heard her get situated and moved to sit on the floor next to the tub. For a few minutes, everything was quiet. It felt like they were the only two people in the world.

Poe almost expected what happened next. Rey ‘s breathing became shallow and Poe looked over to see her eyes shut, with tears streaming down her face, until finally, heart wracking sobs filled the room. He leaned on the side of the tub and met Rey’s hand that had come out of the water to hold his. Poe didn’t speak, just thought it better to let her know he was here with her.

“I’m so sorry Poe,” she whispered.

“Please stop apologizing baby,” Poe felt so helpless when she was in such a state of turmoil.

“No, I’m sorry for lying to you,” she spoke through the tears.

“What are you talking about?”

“That night, when you found me in the hallway, you asked if Jack had managed to do anything to me…”

Poe felt his breath catch in his throat and prepared for the worst.

Rey realized what it sounded like she insinuated and quickly corrected herself, “Jack didn’t rape me Poe, I didn’t mean to imply that, but…” as quickly as her confidence came, she suddenly lost her nerve to tell him what happened.

“Talk to me Rey, please. Don’t shut me out. I want to help you through this, help both of us through this, but I can’t if you’re not honest with me.”

Rey hesitated, “he…made me do stuff to him and I didn’t exactly want to or consent to it. It sort of just happened and I can’t describe how shit and ashamed I feel that I didn’t fight back or say no.”

“What did he make you do?” Poe didn’t exactly want the gory details but hoped that if he knew what she went through, he could help to avoid any unintentional triggers he might not even be aware of.

“Please don’t make me say,” Rey sobbed and held her hands to her eyes.

Poe didn’t want to push further, she had already divulged to him more than she ever had and he was proud of her for talking about it.

“Okay honey,” Poe muttered as he ran his hand through her hair.

“How about you and I take today to just be together? No pressure, no expectation of sex, just a day for you and me to reconnect?” Poe optioned. He really missed seeing her beautiful smile.

“I’d like that,” Rey gave him the tiniest of smirks to which he kissed the side of her mouth.

Poe stood up, grabbed a fresh towel, and held it out for her as he stared towards the ceiling. Rey appreciated that he never tried to sneak quick peaks at her naked figure and would honestly feel comfortable changing in front of him with the confidence that he would never look. He always acted like a gentleman around her and asked for her permission before doing anything.

Rey fondly remembered one night when Poe had accidently walked in on her in her brassiere and underwear, which he had seen before, and promptly held his hands over his eyes and ran out the room apologizing. She walked into the living room to see his elbows resting on his knees and held his head in his hands, seemingly scolding himself. She assured him that it was an honest mistake but he seemed genuinely upset with himself. Rey laughed at how cute he was and the night ended with Poe pinning her down and tickling her until happy tears fell from her eyes.

As soon as the towel was comfortably wrapped around her, Poe pulled Rey tightly to him, enveloping her in his arms. Rey placed her head on his chest and sighed, she loved when he held her, it always brought her so much security in a time when she desperately needed it.

“We’ll be okay, I promise,” Poe exhaled.

Rey truly wanted to believe that but it was difficult after what happened last night.

Poe and her spent the morning cuddling together on the couch, intertwined in each other’s limbs and intermittently placing lazy kisses on the other’s lips. They watched whatever was on television and just casually flipped through the channels. Poe made sure to mutter endearments into her ear every now and again. It seemed to relax her and make her smile, which he loved.  

“Why don’t we take a picnic and go eat lunch in the park today? It’s such a nice day out.”

It was one of those perfect fall mornings where the temperature was just right and there was a steady breeze keeping things cool.

“That sounds nice,” Rey grinned.

Poe packed a loaf of French bread, cheese, fresh fruit, and champagne for their lunch date and waited by the front door for Rey, who was in the bedroom getting dressed. She came out wearing a jean blue sundress with a brown belt synching it at the waist. Her hair was half pulled back and lay around her shoulders in curls.

She looked really cute and Poe was happy to see her cheery enough to dress up a little bit.

They walked hand in hand to the park down the road from their building and found a nice spot to sit. There was a large oak tree sitting in a corner of the park with a nice patch of grass under it, perfect to lay their blanket on. Poe poured them both a glass of champagne and handed Rey some fruit. They relaxed and talked about everything and nothing at once. Poe learned that Rey had started actively looking for another job because she was “so done” with hers. He offered to look at listings on base for something working with planes or engineering. Rey had lit up and couldn’t contain her excitement at the prospect of doing what she loved.

Rey saw out of the corner of her eye, an older gentleman with a guitar stand on the sidewalk across from them and begin to play. After a few minutes, a crowd formed around the man, listening to him sing while strumming. Although Rey was partial to Poe’s music, she had to admit, the man wasn’t half bad and she found herself swaying where she sat.

Poe eyed her admiringly and stood up from his place on the blanket, holding out his hand toward Rey. She looked at it and glanced up at him unsure, but finally allowed him to pull her up. Poe kept his one hand holding hers and moved his other to the small of her back. Effortlessly, he moved with her in his arms as the two danced to the music surrounding them. Rey relaxed and laid her head on his shoulder while letting him guide her small movements and steps.

She had never really enjoyed dancing before, but being wrapped up in Poe’s arms, breathing in his scent on the cool, fall afternoon, made her never want the moment to end.

* * *

 

The next morning, Poe woke up to the surprising sight of Rey already stripped to her undergarments, straddling his lap. He had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, _nope._

“Well, good morning,” he muttered sleepily, moving his hands to rest on Rey’s hips.

“Morning,” Rey replied leaning down so her chest lay flat against his, resting her chin on her hands. 

“Are you sure about this?” It had only been two days since they last tried and he wasn’t sure this was such a good idea.

“Positive. I think yesterday was just what I needed. I’ve been so upset that I felt like we couldn’t be intimate with each other because I was afraid to have sex, that I think I forgot that we don’t have to have sex to _be_ intimate.”

Poe couldn’t describe the relief he felt upon hearing those words, the same words he had been trying to ingrain into her for weeks.

“Let’s just go slow this morning and see where we get. Don’t be afraid to stop me if it gets to be too much okay?” Poe had a feeling this time would be different, she was going about it the right way instead of setting herself up for failure. Plus, now that Poe knew she had some triggers and he was going to try his best to pay attention to the signals she put out.

He began slow, by kissing her tenderly and wrapping his arms around her small frame, keeping her lying on top of him. Poe wanted her to be in complete control this time and to dictate what they did. He would lie perfectly still and not touch her if that’s what it took for her to be comfortable.  

Rey began kissing Poe down his jaw like she knew he loved, beginning to move down his neck. She fearlessly pulled his shirt over his head and gave herself a minute to breathe by resting her head on his bare chest. Poe took this time to rub Rey’s back and arms just to keep their momentum going but not do anything new or scary.

“You’re doing great honey,” Poe spoke in a hushed tone gazing at her fondly. 

Rey pushed herself off Poe’s chest to lie next to him and pulled the sheet up around her chest. Poe thought maybe that was enough for her today, and he was okay with that. Although, he would need to jump into a cold shower pretty soon.

Before that thought even left his mind, Rey reached back and unclipped the fastening of her pink, lace bra and tossed it aside, the sheet still covering her.

Poe’s mouth fell open and leaned over to kiss her beautiful lips. His hand moved to her waist and was relieved when she didn’t tense up or pull away. He wasn’t going to venture any higher until she initiated it herself. Rey pushed closer to Poe so her chest melded with his, kissing his lower lip delicately in the process.

She finally got up the courage to pull away and allow Poe to see her. Unfortunately, in the daylight, Rey couldn’t hide the blush that was forming on her cheeks as Poe gazed at her partially naked form. She wasn’t the most confident girl when it came to her body shape, sometimes she wished she could be curvier and more “womanly,” but it didn’t really matter before because she was the only one who ever saw her naked. Now that she was sharing with Poe something so private, she couldn’t help but hope she was enough for him.

As if sensing her fear, Poe grabbed the side of her face and pulled her in for a heated kiss, one that left her panting and struggling to catch her breath.

“God, you’re beautiful.” He must have uttered that phrase a hundred times, but only now, did it affect Rey deeply. In that moment, she actually felt beautiful.

It meant the world to her that Poe didn’t care that she had bedhead, or wasn’t wearing any makeup, nor a fancy dress. It was just them alone, and he thought she was beautiful.

“Do you think we could just stay like this for a while?” Rey asked shyly, feeling bad that she was denying Poe relief.

“Of course hun, to be honest, I could lie in bed with you like this all day and do nothing more,” he spoke sensually into her ear, earning a giggle.

 


	13. Friends and Fights

Rey ran around her flat trying to find her shoes, trying not to be late for her interview. Poe had notified her of a job listing on base for an engineer in the applied sciences department. Rey was adamant that he not help her by putting in a good word or anything of the sort, she wanted to get the job because she earned it.

Rey hadn’t been to an interview in a while, so she was beyond nervous. Luckily, Poe had the idea to go out with some friends to their favorite pub afterward to unwind.

She walked out her door, finally ready to go. She chose a black pantsuit to wear since it was the most professional looking outfit she had. Rey couldn’t describe how much she wanted this new job. It paid almost double what her current job did and was actually in the field she wanted. Rey’s ultimate goal was to engineer new designs for military aircraft and this job would let her do that.

 

Rey walked into the pub and immediately spotted her group in the corner, with drinks in their hands. So far, it was Finn, Jess, Ben, Talia, Poe and Snap. Rey went to the front and ordered a drink before going over to her friends.

“Hey beautiful, how did the interview go?” Poe beamed as he threw his arm around her shoulder.

“I think it went really well actually,” Rey shied.

“Of course it did, how could anyone not give that cute face a job?” Poe teased.

“As much as I love hearing that, I truly hope they don’t give me a job because of my looks,” She threw back just as cheeky.

“I hope you get the job Rey. Plus, I want to be there when you quit your current one,” Finn laughed.

“Someone has to record that!” Ben actually chimed in.

Rey sat next to Poe on the circular bench style table, surrounded by all the people she loved. She kept catching Poe gazing at her and it never failed to make her breath hitch.

The seven of them spent the next hour joking and catching up. Snap had actually never met anyone here besides her and Poe, which made for a fun evening. Snap had a funny sense of humor and it seemed like him and Jessika were getting along pretty well.

“Future romance in the making,” Poe whispered into Rey’s ear, earning a chuckle.

Poe’s arm was wrapped around her shoulder and drawing patterns on her arm, lulling her into a comfortable state. Rey felt all warm and fuzzy and wasn’t sure much of that had to do with the alcohol. For once, her life was actually looking up, she might have a new job, her and Poe were slowly working through their problem, and she was currently surrounded by friends.

Of course, Rey new her luck had to end at some point, her life had been going too well. At least, that’s what she told herself when out of the corner of her eye, a familiar man walked through the door of the pub.

Poe felt Rey tense next to him and immediately looked down to see her eyes wide and chest heaving with breath.

“Rey honey, are you okay, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Jack,” She whispered.

Poe moved his gaze to look around the pub until his eyes landed on the brooding figure ordering a pint. He was with two other guys and Poe wanted nothing more than to punch the smug looks off their faces. He was the one that caused Rey to have nightmares, he was the one who hurt her and made her afraid of intimacy. Poe felt his blood boiling and blood pressure rising.

Slowly, everyone at the table caught on to who Poe and Rey were staring at. It seemed like everything went silent in the matter of seconds.

“Rey, do you want to leave?” Jess asked softly.

She just shook her head and drew her attention back to the group, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of her regard. Poe on the other hand, couldn’t focus on anything but the asshole at the bar.

He pat Rey’s leg, “hop up, I’m going to get us another pint,” his gaze never leaving Jack.

“Poe, don’t worry about it. Please don’t go up there,” Rey was practically pleading with him now.

“I’ll go with him,” Ben piped in.

Rey felt her heart hit the floor as she watched Ben and Poe make their way up to the bar. Everyone at the table was intently watching what was about to transpire.

Poe never glanced at Jack once while he was up there, just ordered the beer and waited patiently, every now and again, saying something to Ben.

That is, until Jack recognized who he was.

“Hey, Poe right?” He even managed to gesture in a douche way.

He just nodded, feeling his heart rate quicken.

“Who you here with mate?” Jack took a minute to look around the pub, managing to find the people he was looking for.

Rey saw Jack meet her eye and hurriedly turned her attention to the drink in front of her, trying not to pass out.

“You with that tart?” Jack mocked.

“Excuse me?” Poe really was trying to maintain a level head.

“Rey. You two dating?” Jack pushed.

“Yeah.”

Jack abruptly raised his voice for Rey and her friends to hear, “Sex must be good huh? I mean I did teach you how to uh,” he made an obscene gesture with his hand that caused Rey to blush and hide her face in her hands.

Poe found himself shoving Jack aggressively against the bar, fuming.

“Oh god, this isn’t going to end well,” Finn said as he and the rest of the group stood up and made their way over to them. Rey didn’t know what to do.

“I think it’s time you left asshole,” Poe gritted through his teeth.

“Hey, I’m not the one with a bitch for a girlfriend, don’t expect much more than blowy from her. First time jitters, you know?”

Everything went black for Poe. All he heard was shouting and felt himself on top of someone.  

Rey’s head shot up from her hands when she heard a loud crack and looked over to see Poe on top of Jack beating the bloody hell out of him. She jumped up from her seat and ran over to the crowd. Ben, Finn, and Snap were desperately trying to pull Poe off him but nothing was working.

“Poe!” She screamed.

Slowly, his vision began to focus, albeit blurred.

“Poe!-Get off him!-Someone call an ambulance!” All he heard were a million voices at once.

Poe slowly regained focus and looked down to see Jack passed out, with his face bloodied, probably with a broken nose. His hands and knuckles were bruised and bleeding as well. He felt arms around him, hastily pulling him off the body beneath him. Ben was kneeling in front of him, holding onto his shoulders. Poe could tell he was speaking but his hearing was still muffled.

“Hey man, you alright?” Ben tried.

Rey felt tears in her eyes when she sussed out the situation; Poe was sitting on the floor with bleeding knuckles, looking completely out of it, and Jack was lying unconscious. Never mind the fact that Jack had just humiliated her in front of all her friends.

She tapped Ben on the shoulder and he moved out of the way, making room for her to sit in front of Poe. She held his face in her hands and called his name.

Poe’s eyes shifted to the new figure in front of him and felt himself come back as his vision focused on Rey. He noticed she was crying and instantly felt a pang of regret. _Oh shit._

“Rey, I’m so sorry.”

“Come on, let’s get you two home,” Finn offered.

The crowd finally dispersed and people went on their merry way. Jack’s “friends” had high tailed it out of there pretty quickly. After the situation calmed down, Ben took Talia home and Snap took a cab, not wanting to get in the way.

Finn and Jess walked the two back to their building and got them situated in Poe’s flat. Rey found a medical kit and placed it on the sink in the bathroom while Finn and Jess helped Poe sit on the closed toilet lid. Jessika and Finn each placed a kiss on Rey’s cheek and asked one final time if she was going to be okay. She lied and said yes, just so they would let her and Poe be.

They hadn’t said one word to each other since the pub and quite frankly, she didn’t know what to say. Rey felt completely dead inside. She couldn’t believe how horrible this night had become. She was completely humiliated and Poe looked like he hated himself.

Rey wet a washcloth and took Poe’s hand in hers, beginning to soothe his bloody knuckles. She noticed he didn’t even react to her touch or flinch as she rubbed his cuts.

“Poe, are you okay?” She asked softly.

“I’m the one who should be asking you that,” he sighed.

Rey didn’t answer, just continued working on his hands. She put antiseptic on his knuckles and apologized when he winced. When she finished wrapping his right hand, Poe wrapped his arms around Rey’s hips and leaned his head on her abdomen.

“I’m so sorry if I scared you tonight. I don’t know what happened, I just sort of blacked out.” Poe admitted, feeling soothed by Rey’s hands absentmindedly rubbing the back of his head.

“I know honey. I appreciate you standing up for me, I’m just sorry you were put in that position.”

“It’s my fault. He just got me so mad, Rey. All that shit he said, and hearing what he made you do,” Poe felt tears welling in his eyes at the horrible thought of Jack forcing Rey to get him off.

Rey felt the sting of shame knowing he had found out what that pig did.

“Just forget about it okay,” Rey pleaded.

“That’s like asking you to forget about it, it’s impossible,” he muttered.

_Low blow_.

Rey took a step away from Poe and he saw at once, the hurt in her eyes.

“Oh god Rey, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, I know exactly what you meant…I think we need to take a break for a while.”

“What?” Poe was shocked.

“It’s just after tonight, I need to rethink some things.” Her tone was cold and sudden.

“Rey, I’m sorry about what happened but it’s not something we should break up over.” He stood up and followed her out of the bathroom, into the living room.

“Look, you didn’t have to go up there and talk to him! You could have just left well enough alone and then I wouldn’t have been embarrassed in front of my friends and you wouldn’t be in the predicament you are!”

“He talked to me FIRST, I didn’t instigate anything and you know that!” Poe spat back.

“It’s not just about tonight, Poe! It’s everything! Every time we try to have sex, I freak out and distance myself from you. You don’t think that’s abnormal and needs to be dealt with?” She raised her voice.

“It’s something that I thought we were dealing with together. We were working on it, we made progress the other morning! Please don’t shut me out Rey,” Poe felt the heartbreak rising in his chest as Rey cried before him, equally as heartbroken.

“Seeing Jack reminded me of the shit he put me through. I jumped into a relationship with you before I dealt with it.”

“Hey, don’t put that on me, I told you to take your time. I had no problem waiting for when you were ready.” Poe argued with her as she opened his front door.

“Well then you should have no problem waiting a little longer!” Rey yelled as she slammed the door behind her.

_What have I done?_


	14. Ruined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so short, I've had no time this week to write anything substantial but I promise the next one will be longer. This semester is kicking my ass unfortunately :(

Rey walked out of Poe’s flat with tears streaming down her face and her heart pounding out of her chest. She knew she couldn’t go back to her flat tonight for fear that Poe would just come over and try to reconcile. That’s not what she wanted or needed right now. Even though it felt like someone has just ripped her heart out, she didn’t want to see Poe. Instead, she hailed a taxi and went to where she would feel most at home tonight.

Rey sombered up the front steps and it hit her how late it actually was. She figured there was nothing she could do about her timing now and knocked on the front door. After a minute, the person she wanted to see opened the front door and looked her over with sorrowful eyes.

“Dad,” Rey heaved as she fell into Luke’s arms.

He held his surrogate daughter tightly and swayed back and forth trying to calm her sobs. His head was reeling, trying to figure out what was going on and why Rey had shown up suddenly at one in the morning.

Luke ushered her inside and closed the door behind them. He led her over to the large couch and sat her down, perched himself on the table in front of Rey and held her hands in his, waiting for her breathing to even out.

“What happened honey?”

“I ruined everything,” Rey whispered almost inaudibly.

“What did you ruin?”

“My relationship with Poe.”

Luke knew it was going to be one of those times where trying to get information out of her was like pulling teeth. It brought him back to when she was a teenager and it seemed like some days, he never got a word out of her. Rey was always such a good kid but he was constantly reminded of what her childhood had been like. She always had trouble trusting people or getting attached to anyone. It took a while for her to even give him the time of day.

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” Luke said.

“I was out with Poe and some friends at a pub and everything was going so well. I had an interview today for a new job and I felt pretty good about it. Then, my ex-boyfriend Jack showed up and…a fight broke out between him and Poe.” Rey had left out the part about what Jack had said, or why Poe was so furious in the first place. She never told Luke what had transpired between her and Jack but she didn’t think she could handle any more humiliation tonight.

“And you got mad at Poe because he beat up Jack?” Luke was having trouble connecting the dots.

“There was more to it, but I don’t really want to talk about it. Bottom line is, Poe and I fought and I told him I needed a little break. You should have seen his face, it looked like I broke his heart.” Rey said as the tears stung her eyes.

“There’s nothing wrong with needing to take a break. You did go from one relationship to the other without processing what happened.”

“That’s what I told Poe but he blamed that on me instead of being understanding.”

Luke could tell there was more to the story than Rey was letting on but he respected that she would tell him as much as she was comfortable with and not to push.

“Why don’t you spend the night here, in your old room? I’ll make you a cup of tea and bring it up.” Luke offered.

Rey gave him a smile and leaned in as Luke pressed a kiss to her forehead. She relished the embrace for a second before standing up to go upstairs.

Luke put the kettle on and picked up the phone to call the one person who could get through to Rey…his sister.  

A very angry and tired Han picked up the phone but quickly handed it over to Leia, who said she would be there in ten. Luke had just poured the tea when he heard the front door open. He looked over his shoulder to see his sister shrugging off her coat and setting her bag down.

“How is she?”

“Not great, I sent her upstairs to relax a little but she’s pretty upset.”

“I don’t blame her, the poor thing.”

They walked upstairs and Luke was the first to knock on Rey’s door, walking in with the cup of tea. Rey’s head perked up when she noticed her aunt come in behind him.

“I hope you don’t mind I called her over, figured you'd rather talk to her than an old man like myself.” Luke teased.

“Dad,” Rey laughed, earning a smile from Luke.

He left the two to talk and Rey felt the tears prickle the corners of her eye once again as Leia sat on the bed next to her.

“You had a fight.” She stated flatly.

Rey nodded and knew the tears were beginning to fall down her cheeks.

“I told him I needed a break to get myself together and figure things out.”

“What do you need to get together?”

Rey seriously debated whether or not she wanted to spill her guts to her aunt. She knew she would never receive judgment from her but it was still difficult to talk about something so personal and private.

“Poe and I have been having trouble…becoming intimate.” Rey spoke in a small voice.

“In what way?” Leia asked sincerely.

Rey sighed, “every time he touches me a certain way I get triggered and flash back to being with Jack and it all goes south from there. Poe has been so kind and patient with me, and all I’ve done in return is act spiteful towards him.”

“If you want my advice, it sounds like talking to a professional might do you some good.”

“What, you mean like therapy?”

“Don’t snub your nose at the idea until you’ve tried it. Trauma isn’t something you can just get over, it takes a lot of work.”

“Did Luke tell you what happened tonight?”

Leia shook her head.

“Poe and Jack got into a fight at the pub because Jack said some snide remark towards me in front of all my friends. Poe blacked out and just started beating him. I think he had an episode, PTSD or something. I can’t lie and say it didn’t scare me a little bit. I know in my heart that Poe would never hurt me like Jack did but something in his eye got to me. What if he has an episode when he’s with me and loses control?”

“That’s something you need to talk to him about when you’re ready. Tell him your concerns and see what he has to say. But first, I think you need to deal with your own issues. Promise me you’ll talk to someone.”

“I promise,” Rey agreed.

Leia hugged her niece and laid down next to her for a while, watching television, until Rey fell asleep.


	15. Picking up the Pieces

Rey would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about going to see a therapist. Social workers in the past had tried to get her into counseling but she never agreed, too stubborn to admit she needed help. Now she found herself walking up the steps to an office building where she would be expected to spill her guts to a stranger. It was hard enough talking to her friends and family about her problems, let alone someone she didn’t know.

“Hi, I have an appointment at 10:30 with Dr. Andrews,” Rey spoke timidly to the receptionist.

“Alright dear, I’ll let her know you’re here,” the receptionist said sweetly.

Rey took a seat in the empty waiting area, her nerves already shot. She hoped this would be a productive morning but couldn’t calm her fears of failure no matter what she tried.

“Rey, Dr. Andrews is ready for you, room two,” the receptionist called.

Rey walked into the small but comfortable room a couple doors down the hallway. She was greeted by a woman who was much younger than Rey expected. She supposed she had the cliché idea of what a therapist looked like; old, glasses, muted wardrobe, that sort of thing.

“Hi Rey, my name is Dr. Laura Andrews, I’m so glad you decided to come in today.”

Dr. Andrews couldn’t have been more than thirty years old which is some strange way made Rey feel more comfortable, it would hopefully be more like talking to a peer rather than a jaded therapist.

Rey sat in a large chair opposite the other where Dr. Andrews would presumably sit.

“So, tell me what made you decide to come in.”

“Well, I guess I’ve just been having a tough time lately. I just got out of a pretty abusive relationship with my ex and right after I jumped into a relationship with a guy I really like who is incredible, but we are taking a break right now because of problems we are having,” Rey spat out quickly, not sure she really made any sense.

“Alright, tell me about your relationship with your ex.”

“It started out well enough. He seemed like a nice guy, until he started getting really possessive and handsy. After a couple months of dating, he started pressuring me into sex and I guess I should have known at that point that I wasn’t really in love with him. I had no intention of ever sleeping with him or any desire to. Then…there was this one night where he took things a little too far and I said no, which made him furious and he beat me. I got out of his flat as quickly as I could and that’s when I decided to end things with him.” Rey could feel her face getting redder and redder as she spoke.

“I’m sorry that happened to you. How long after did you enter into your current relationship?”

“Pretty immediately. To be honest, I fell for Poe while I was dating Jack. Meeting him made me realize how ridiculous it was that I was hanging around that monster instead of allowing myself to be with a great guy.”

“Why do you think that is?” She asked.

“I don’t know. I guess I’ve had trust issues from growing up in foster and group homes. My foster dad took me in when I was thirteen, but by then I had been through too much shit to not be jaded, which really sucks because after that I grew up in a really loving environment with people who I’m so lucky to have today, even though I aged out and they don’t have any legal obligation to me anymore.”

“Tell me about growing up in foster care.”

“I mean, there’s not much to tell. I still have no idea who my birth parents are and I have no desire to find out. I was tossed around from home to home until one day, I wasn’t.”

“That must have been hard to grow up without stability, without someone to count on.”

“Yeah, it was.” Rey sighed.

“Why don’t you tell me about your current boyfriend, Poe is it?” Just hearing his name made Rey depressed.

“Poe is the most amazing guy. I’ve never met a man who is undyingly selfless and wants nothing more than to make me happy, even if it means putting my needs first. He supported me through the mess with Jack and took care of me before we were even together. I want nothing more than return the favor and show him how much I appreciate and like him, but I just can’t.”

“You said you two are having problems, describe them.” The doctor said in a calm tone.

Rey hesitated, “we…I mean, I’m having a hard time working up the courage to have sex with him.”

“I doubt this has anything to do with courage, honey.”

“Every time Poe and I try, it only takes one small thing to take me back to when Jack took advantage of me and the moment’s ruined. Our attempts usually end in me sobbing and Poe having to calm me down. I hate myself so much for it and want so much to do this with him.” Rey felt the tears prickle in her eyes.

“First, you need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You have been through some serious trauma, I would be worried if you weren’t affected by it. Have you talked to Poe about what scares you or what triggers you?”

“Well, I mean, not in detail. He knows some of what happened but to be honest, I don’t really know what triggers me.”

“My advice for right now, is to take it slower than you think you need to go. If Poe really cares about you, he’ll be patient through this process. Take it one step at a time, don’t go in with the expectation of doing everything at once. Maybe one night you just hold each other, then the next night you go one step further. It might help to ask him to constantly talk to you so your mind knows it’s him with you and not your ex. You and him will find what works for you. The only thing is you can’t get discouraged if you have an episode. You have to expect that to happen. Over time, it’ll get easier to do certain things that used to trigger you. I’m confident that this is something you and Poe can work on, but it will be work.”

Rey had to admit she was a little discouraged to hear this. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t hoping for a quick fix. Her and Poe had been working on it, but it seemed like they weren’t getting anywhere fast enough.

“Okay,” she nodded her head solemnly.   

“I know it’s probably not what you wanted to hear, but take comfort in the fact that a lot of people have been in your situation, and eventually it works itself out, it’ll just take time honey.”

“I know. I just hope I didn’t mess things up to much that Poe doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Thinking about the ‘what ifs’ will just drive you crazy. The best thing you can do is to just talk to him.”

“I will, thank you for seeing me today on such short notice.” Rey stood to leave.

“Come and see me next week, if you have time in your schedule.”

Rey smiled at the doctor and nodded, walking out the door to the office. 

As soon as she stepped outside, her phone rang with a number she wasn’t familiar with.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Rey? This is Carl Dorsey from the recruiting office on base.”

“Oh of course, hi.” _Why do I have to be so awkward?_

“I just wanted to give you a call to let you know we want to move forward with hiring you to be a part of our engineering team.”

“Wait, seriously? Oh my gosh thank you so much!” Rey could hardly contain her excitement.

“We would like you to come in for a training seminar on Monday, would you be able to do that?”

“Of course, I’ll see you then!”

“Alright, I’ll have someone call you later on to go over details with you. I don’t want to overload you with info right now, but I hope to see you Monday Rey and I’m glad you’ll be joining our team.”

“Thanks again.” Rey heard the call hang up and felt happier than she had been in days.

Unfortunately, her happiness ended pretty quickly when she realized her first instinct was to call Poe and tell him the good news. Rey’s heart sank even further when she put two and two together that she would now be working at the same base Poe does. She would have to see him Monday and couldn’t imagine how awkward that encounter is going to be.

Rey took a cab back to Luke’s. It was only supposed to be one night, but it had turned into three. Now, she didn’t know when she intended to go back to her flat because it meant she would be right next to Poe, and she just couldn’t bear to face him yet. She didn’t want to see the hurt in his face or have to reject his urge to comfort her with his words.

Rey walked up Luke’s front steps once again and walked into her childhood home greeted by the smell of dinner.

“Hi honey, how did it go with the therapist?” Luke asked as he stirred whatever was cooking on the stove.

“Fine. I’m glad I went actually,” she stated cryptically.

“Good, happy to hear it.”

“I have some good news actually,” Rey smiled.

“Oh yeah? What’s that honey?”

“I got that job working on base.” Rey watched Luke’s face slowly turn into a huge smile as he ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

“Congratulations Rey! Oh that’s wonderful news for this old man to hear.”

“Dad,” Rey laughed.

“Let’s celebrate with some tortellini soup, I only made it a little too salty,” Luke winked.

Rey and Luke chatted over dinner, not really discussing anything to important other than the details of her job, which she didn’t know too much about yet.

“I think I’m going to head to my flat real quick and grab some clothes, I’m running out of ways to wear two different shirts.”

After helping Luke clean up after dinner, he offered her his car to take over to her flat so she didn’t have to carry all her stuff into a cab. Rey’s goal was to get in and out of the building as quick as possible before Poe noticed she was there. Maybe she was being childish but she just wasn’t in the mood to deal with it at the moment.

Rey reached her door, unlocked it, and bolted inside heading for her bedroom. She grabbed a few essentials and a nice outfit for work on Monday. As Rey put her stuff back in the car, she realized she left her wallet on the kitchen table. She sighed, and walked back into the building, where she ran straight into the very man she had been trying to avoid. _Of course._

Poe grabbed her by the shoulders before she fell to the floor, and felt his breath catch as he recognized the woman he held.

“Rey…uh hi,” he spoke timidly, immediately taking his hands off her.  

“Hi,” she whispered. _Damn those brown eyes._

“How have you been?” He asked softly.

“Fine,” Rey couldn’t stop fidgeting where she stood.

“I haven’t seen you around here in a few days, I was starting to get worried.”

“Oh, I’ve been staying at Luke’s, I just came back to get a few things.”

“I hope I didn’t drive you out of your own apartment,” Poe nervously chuckled, even though he was serious.

“No, I just wanted to get away from everything for a while. It wasn’t just because of you.”

“Okay...” Poe spoke as he looked towards the ground.

“I got that job on base as an engineer,” she said not looking at him until she felt his stare.

“Rey! That’s incredible sweetheart, I’m so proud of you!” Poe beamed. Rey almost forgot what this was like; how he made her feel.

“Thanks. I guess I’ll be seeing you Monday then.”

“Yeah, um, if you need help with anything or getting around base, just let me know, okay?”

Rey nodded and soon, comfortable silence filled the hallway around them.

“I’m seeing someone…for my issues, a therapist. I had my first session today.” She spat out.

“Good for you, I hope you find solace in it,” Poe moved a step closer to where they were almost touching, “you know I just want the best for you right?” He said in a comforting tone.

Rey felt the tears threaten to fall and slowly wrapped her arms around Poe’s frame. She felt the warmth of Poe’s arms around her waist as he rested his head on top of hers. She didn’t know how long they stayed like that; Poe rocking her side to side as she shed quiet tears.

Rey hesitantly pulled away and quickly wiped her cheeks with her sleeve. Poe bent his head down and looked her sincerely in the eyes, “want me to walk you outside?”

Rey nodded and let Poe lead her outside with his hand to the small of her back. The nights were starting to get cold as fall was coming to a close. The crisp air felt good as it shook her from her thoughts as she moved to open the car door.

“Have a good night Rey, I’ll see you at work.” He said as he placed a chaste and gentlemanly kiss on her forehead. Rey longed for the nights where he held her and kissed her as though it would be the last time.

She guessed it had been their last time.


	16. I Mean It

Rey was nervous as she got out of the taxi and walked towards the front gate of the military base. She was excited but anxious at the same time to start her new job. Rey showed her badge to the MP and got scanned in. She made her way over to the engineering building where she would be working and walked toward secretary at the front. She was led to her work space and shown how everything worked around the office. This job already seemed a million times better than her old one.

After a couple hours of getting herself set up and meeting the other engineers, Rey noticed it was about time for lunch but realized she didn’t know where the canteen was or if she was allowed to go off base or for how long. Just as she was about to ask someone, Rey observed a familiar figure walk through the door and ask the receptionist something. Only seconds later was Poe standing at her office door in his mechanic’s suit giving her his signature smile.

“Hey, wanna come to lunch with me, I know you must be starved,” he offered.

Rey nodded and grabbed her jacket, not saying a word as they left the building.

“Has anyone shown you around base? Like where the canteen is or the commissary?”

“Not yet.”

“Well, let’s change that.”

Poe led her around base and showed her where everything was and eventually they ended up at the canteen. Rey hadn’t said much to him but truthfully, she didn’t know what to say. Their encounter the other night had left her with a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach and she didn’t really know where they went from there. Poe was acting like nothing had happened and Rey was starting to get worried that maybe he thought they were back together.

They entered the less than crowded canteen and got in line to grab food. Poe led her over to an empty table and sat down. They ate in silence for a few minutes while Rey stole glances at Poe, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Poe, what are we doing?” She quietly asked.

“We’re eating lunch,” he said without looking up from his plate.

“You know what I mean Poe.”

“It’s just lunch Rey, it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“I was making sure you understood that,” she responded tilting her head, raising an eyebrow.

“Look, I know you aren’t ready to get back together but I’m willing to wait and until then I still want to be friends. I mean we do work together.” He stated finally meeting her gaze.

“Poe, I don’t know when or if I’ll ever be ready to get back together with you. I don’t want to hurt you by dragging this out.” Rey couldn’t describe the feeling in her stomach when she saw the hurt on Poe’s face.

“I thought we were just taking a break, we didn’t break up. I thought you just needed time to sort things out.” Poe said raising his voice a little.

“I don’t know what I need right now. The only thing I do know is that I can’t handle being in a relationship with you.” Rey felt her emotions begin to escape her.

“Ever?” Poe whispered looking like she ripped his heart out again.

Rey didn’t know how to respond, instead she just sat staring at her tray of food. She startled when she heard Poe angrily stand from the table and storm out of the building, leaving her wiping tears from her eyes.

 

Rey walked up the stairs to her father's home in a state of emotional whirlwind. All in all, her actual day at work went pretty great and she knew Luke would want to hear all about it when she walked through the front door. However, she also had never felt more depressed at the same time. How she left things with Poe today was not the way she wanted it to go. She truly didn’t know what she wanted but hoped in time she would figure it out.

Surprisingly, when Rey entered the house, she was met with silence. As she went into the kitchen, she noticed a note left on the counter,

_Rey,_

_Went out to pick up the Chinese food, can’t wait to hear about how your day went! I’m sure you were a pro!_

_Dad_

It still melted her heart every time Luke wrote or said the word ‘dad’. Rey had spent so much of her life without a family that it was almost overwhelming when she was thrust into this one. Everyone had been so open and happy to have her join the family that it had been an easy adjustment. It only felt natural when Poe had slowly become a part of that unit. Now that he was gone, it felt like she was being abandoned again.  

Rey heard the front door open and turned to see Luke walk into the kitchen with a bag of food.

“Hey honey, how was your day? You get promoted yet?” He joked.

Rey smiled and rolled her eyes, “it was alright, the job seems good.”

“Then why was your day just alright?” Luke asked while fetching plates for them out of the cabinet.

Rey hesitated, “I saw Poe. Actually, I had lunch with him. It was really weird and I don’t like how we left things.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sure things will work out, they always do.” Luke assured.

“I hope so.”

The rest of the night went by like normal; her and Luke finished dinner and sat on the couch in a comfortable silence, watching a movie. Rey was starting to fall asleep on Luke’s shoulder when she heard a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it. Finn said he might be stopping by to drop off a coat I left at his flat.” Rey muttered sleepily.

When Rey opened the door, she felt her heart sink. _Why are you here?_

“Please can we talk?” Poe said before she shut the door in his face.

“What do you want Poe?” Rey spoke flatly, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her.

“I want to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Rey mumbled as she stared at her feet.

“How can you say that, you know that’s not true?” Poe looked at her with those eyes that made her heart melt and wish she could just wrap her arms around him and have him tell her it’s going to be okay.

“Luke’s here.”

Poe took a second to look around, “How about we talk out here,” he pointed to the long bench on the porch.

“It’s cold out.” Rey was looking for any excuse to get out of this conversation.

“I’ll keep you warm.” _Damn him._

Rey shot him a look but begrudgingly agreed to follow him outside. She sat as far away from him as she could on the bench, putting her feet up while hugging her knees to her chest.

“You wanted to talk, so talk.” She griped.

“I miss you Rey, I’m sick and tired of not being with you. If I had known when you said you wanted to take a break, that that meant breaking up, I never would have let you walk out the door.”

“It was my decision Poe, there was nothing you could have said to make me stay.”

“Help me understand that, I don’t get what I did that made you want to break up with me. We had one fight!”

“Maybe it wasn’t about you Poe! Ever thought about that?” Rey shouted.

“Please…talk to me. I’m here for you, I’ve always been here for you.” Poe made a move to get closer to her on the bench, causing her to tense.

“It was just everything that happened that night made me realize how much shit I’ve gone through in my life and never once had I dealt with it like a normal human being. I was passed from foster home to foster home, beaten by someone who I thought cared about me, and now can’t even be intimate with the man I love!” Rey’s heart stopped, instantly wishing she could take back that one little word she hadn’t meant to utter. A word she didn’t know she was capable of saying to the man in front of her.

“What?”

Rey couldn’t speak, only waited with bated breath for Poe’s reaction to her confession.

“You love me?” Poe asked with wanting eyes and a voice so deep with affection.

Rey nodded while feeling her face flush, not sure if it was from embarrassment or the cold.

“I love you too.” Poe smiled softly.

“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me not feel as mortified as I am?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it, Rey.” Poe moved so he was sitting directly next to her, almost touching.

Rey laid her forehead on top of her knees, knowing if she looked him in the eye, tears would start to fall, “it’s just really hard for me to not be able to express my love for you in that way. I hoped if we took a break I would just somehow magically get fixed and everything would be normal. I would be normal.” She muttered in a small voice.

“Ehh, I always felt normal was boring. Nothing about us is normal and that’s what I love. I don’t want you to feel like you have to be alone in getting through this. My job is to love and care for you and help you through even the shittiest of times.”

“You’re acting like we’re married.” Rey quipped almost inaudibly.

Poe didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry I hurt you, Poe. I tend to push the people I care about away, it’s just easier. Except, this time it wasn’t, it sucked actually.” That earned them both a chuckle.  

“That it did.”

“I do have to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me since the night at the pub. When you were beating Jack, you weren’t really with it, it was like you blacked out or something. I have to admit, it scared me a little.”

Poe sighed, “I know, it scared me too. I haven’t had an episode like that in a while. I don’t know what happened.”

“Have you thought about seeing someone?” She asked delicately.

He laughed, “Sweetheart, I’ve been seeing someone since I attacked the man that killed my mother outside the courthouse.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want you to think any less of me or something.”

“Poe, I could never think that.” Rey’s heart hurt that he felt the need to keep something like that from her, although, she supposed that was a little hypocritical.

“I guess we both have to figure out how to communicate a little better, huh?”

“I’ll try if you will.” Rey moved so she could snuggle up to Poe a little more, sighing when she felt his arm go around her back.

“Anything for you, love.” Poe leaned down and kissed her forehead.  

“Can we try this again?” Rey questioned softly.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't keep them apart for too long :)


	17. I Missed You

Rey moved slightly in bed, smiling to herself when her foot hit the leg of the man next to her. She shifted so she faced Poe’s shirtless figure. After they talked last night and cleared the air, Rey felt bad having to make Poe drive all the way back to their building late at night, so she allowed him to stay with her. After not having spent the night together for a long time, it felt nice to fall asleep to Poe running his hand through her hair and kissing her forehead. She leaned over and snuggled her head into the crook of his neck, causing him to stir.

“Hey, beautiful.” He voiced in a groggy tone.

“Morning,” she mumbled.

Poe reached his arm around her waist and pulled Rey closer to him, having missed this feeling. Just as Poe leaned down to softly kiss Rey’s lips, her bedroom door swung open.

“Oh my god!” Luke shouted before jumping out of the room, slamming the door shut.

“Sorry kiddo!” He said through the door to a positively mortified Rey and Poe.

“Shit, shit, shit” Rey muttered into Poe’s chest, hiding her burning cheeks. The image of Rey in her bra kissing a shirtless Poe, in bed, was not one she wanted her father to have, no matter how old she was.

“I was just coming to see if you were awake, it’s 8 o’clock, I didn’t want you to be late for work.” Luke called.

“T-Thanks, um, I’ll be down in a few.” She stuttered still in shock.

Poe just chuckled next to her, kissing her forehead.

“Shut up Poe,” she quipped.

“Come on, we’re all adults here, it’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is Poe! He’s my dad and that’s a pretty embarrassing way for him to find out we are back together,” Rey said as she got out of bed to put on some clothes for work. As usual, Poe didn’t look as she changed out of her bra and underwear, even after all this time, he still never peeked.

“Come on, we have to get going or we’ll be late,” Rey hurried.

Poe shamelessly got out of bed in just his boxers and stretched in front of her, flexing a little. Rey blushed when she felt his eyes watching hers. She quickly walked into the bathroom to get ready, leaving Poe to put on the same clothes he was wearing last night, hopefully no one would notice.

After she was finished, Rey walked downstairs praying Luke had already left for the day. _No such luck_. Luke was standing in the kitchen making a to-go cup of coffee for her. She was surprised when she saw an extra mug brewing, presumably for Poe.

“Morning sweetie, sorry about earlier, I’ll make sure I knock next time. I seem to forget you’re an adult and not a kid anymore.”

Rey nodded, wanting to just drop the subject.

“I’m glad things worked out with Poe, I told you they would,” Luke touched his finger to Rey’s nose causing her to giggle. Luke pulled her into a side-hug, sighing.

He noticed out of the corner of his eye, Poe trying to sneak down the stairs, attempting to make a silent exit.

“Ahem, I wouldn’t think you would pass up a free cup of coffee Dameron,” Luke called.

Poe tensed and like a scolded child, sauntered into the kitchen.

“Morning, son.”

“Morning, um, I apologize about earlier-“ Luke cut him off right there with a held up hand.

“Don’t worry about it, I trust you with my daughter as I see how happy you make her and how respectful you are of her wishes. Just don’t do anything you wouldn’t want me seeing in _my_ house. Now you two better get going or Rey will be late for her second day of work, which I would have to blame you for.”

Poe got the message and he and Rey grabbed their stuff and ran out the door.

 

After work, Poe took Rey to the Italian restaurant they had frequented so regularly. They had yet to try everything on the menu and Rey was determined. Everything seemed to fall back in line with them, almost as if they hadn’t broken up. Rey believed it was important for them to have taken some time apart in order to fully appreciate what they had together. She was glad that Poe and her had opened up to each other last night and put everything out on the table. She was also happy that she slipped up and told Poe that she loved him, even more so that he reciprocated. All Rey wanted was to move forward and just enjoy each  other’s company, no pressure put on anything.

“So, are you going to move back home or am I going to have to live with your dad now?” Poe said earning a laugh from Rey.

“Yeah, I plan on staying at my place tonight. I’ll get my stuff from Luke this weekend.”

“I’ll get it for you,” he added nonchalantly.

“Thank you,” Rey took a moment to look at her man; she really did love him, it wasn’t just meaningless words.

“Ready to get out of here, sweetheart?”

Rey nodded and let Poe take her arm and lead her out of the restaurant. They walked in silence back to their building. The nights were cold and Rey was excited for the first snow of the season. Poe noticed Rey shiver and put his arm around her, pulling her close. Together, they walked up the front steps and he walked Rey to her door.

As she unlocked it, she turned to face Poe, “want to come in?” She asked shyly.

“Okay”

Rey led Poe over to the couch and pushed her lips against his, taking him by surprise. She pulled him down onto the cushions by his shirt collar, with him ending up on top of her. After a moment of heated kissing, Poe pulled away.

“I missed this,” he whispered.

“Me too,” Rey muttered, out of breath.

Poe noticed Rey shiver under him, and stood up abruptly, leaving his girlfriend confused and still lying awkwardly on the couch.

“Poe?”

He had gone into her bedroom and reappeared with pillows and blankets, throwing them onto the cushion next to Rey. He took one of the fluffy, soft, blankets and wrapped it around Rey’s shoulders. Then, he sat down next to her and put the pillows around himself before pulling Rey into his lap. His heart soared as he heard her giggle in protest.

“Poe! What are you doing?” She laughed wholeheartedly.

“Shh, I’m warming you, like a bear!” He spoke like a child.

Rey continued to snicker as she was surrounded by pillows and warmth and comfort. Poe pressed a kiss to her forehead before taking advantage of her wrapped up state and began planting kisses everywhere he could. Rey was sent into another fit of giggles as Poe quickly kissed her face, neck, and nose.

“Okay, okay, I surrender!” She chuckled.

Poe slowed his kisses until he planted one final one on her lips, this time, soft and tender.

“I missed you,” she blushed.

“I missed you too, sweetheart.”


	18. A Gift

Rey woke up still surrounded by pillows and blankets on the couch. She looked around groggily, attempting to find Poe. She heard a rustling coming from her bedroom and looked up to see Poe coming out of her bedroom in nothing but a towel, with water dripping from his hair.

“Morning sunshine, I thought you were never going to wake up.” Poe commented, drying his hair off with another, smaller towel.

“What time is it?” Rey couldn’t help but notice how uncomfortable and achy she was. _Probably from spending the night on the couch._

“Almost ten, want me to grab us some breakfast from the café across the street?”

“Sure,” Rey said as she sat up slowly and gripped her aching abdomen.

“You okay, hun?” Poe asked in a concerned tone, moving to stand in front of her.

“Yeah, I think I’m just sore from sleeping on the couch.”

“Sorry about that, I was passed out as well. Then, when I woke up earlier I didn’t want to risk waking you by moving you to your bedroom.”

“It’s okay,” she mumbled as she walked into the bathroom.

As soon as Rey undressed for her shower, she knew exactly why she felt so shitty. She annoyingly threw her bloody underwear in the trash and grumbled to herself when she realized she didn’t have any supplies. _Of course._

She hopped in the warm shower, attempting to rid her body of the aches and cramps. Meanwhile, she was trying to think of a way to slyly leave the apartment without Poe asking too many questions. Rey got out and redressed in comfortable clothing, resolving to not leave the flat today. She sulked into the living room and stood nervously before Poe.

“Hey, um, when you go out to get breakfast, could you grab me something?” Rey mumbled, half angry, half uncomfortable.

“Sure, what do you need?”

“….Tampons?” Rey squint her face as a flush hit her cheeks, wishing Poe wasn’t looking at her.

“Yeah, sure honey, just text me what you need, I’ll stop at the pharmacy down the street,” he spoke as if it was no big deal.

“Wait really? You’re not embarrassed?”

Poe shook his head, “I’m pretty sure you’re more embarrassed than me right now,” he laughed.

Rey groaned and put her hands over her eyes until she found herself wrapped up in Poe’s arms. She leaned into his warmth and sighed.

“Why don’t you go lie down and put up your feet? I’ll be back soon with breakfast.” Poe said as he rubbed her back for a second, which Rey wished could have lasted an hour, and led her over to the couch.

“What would you like from the bakery?”

“Surprise me,” Rey smiled as Poe kissed her forehead.

She curled up on the couch and heard the door shut as Poe left. Her body ached all over and she couldn’t help but close her eyes in hope that sleep would relieve her of pain.

 

Rey heard the door open, which woke her out of a dead sleep. She swore she heard some kind of whimpering sound come from the entryway as Poe walked in to put down the bags. She slowly moved to sit up until Poe rushed over to her and plopped something small and furry onto her lap.

“What-” Rey questioned as she stared confused, at a wide-eyed puppy currently licking her hand.

“I remembered when I first met you, you said you weren’t sure if you wanted a cat or a dog for your new flat, and Mrs. Benson’s beagle from upstairs just had a litter. I told her I’d like to adopt one a few weeks ago and figured today would be as good as any to get him for you.” Poe said as he moved to sit on the table across from her, gently petting the dog’s head. 

“You got me a dog?” Rey couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah, I hope that’s okay? Do you like him?” Poe stared at her nervously.

“Poe, I love him! Of course it’s okay!” Rey squealed as she leaned over to kiss her man.

“God what are you going to get me next month, a ring?” Rey joked at first until she saw a strange, unreadable look on Poe’s face.

Rey cleared her throat and turned her attention back to the small bundle in her lap.

“How are you feeling?” Poe asked.

“Crappy, but this little guy makes everything a bit better,” she cooed as she ruffled the puppy’s ears.

Poe stood up and went back over to where he left the bags by the front door and made his way back over to Rey.

“Here, they didn’t have the brand you like so I bought a few others and pray I made the right call.”

Rey giggled and couldn’t help but blush as Poe held four huge boxes of tampons with a hopeful look on his face.

“That’s fine, babe.” She chuckled.

“Oh here, I got you a cinnamon bun from the bakery. I hope it’s still warm.” He pulled out her pastry and snorted as the puppy’s interest was immediately peaked and his nose began to sniff wildly. 

“Not for you little guy, I’ll get you some of your food in a minute.”

“How are you so incredible, Poe?” Rey admonished as she shoved the pastry into her mouth.  

“Hey, I want to take care of my girl when she feels shitty.” Poe stated as he got up, but not before placing a kiss to Rey’s nose.

“What do you think you’re going to name him?” Poe called from the kitchen.

“I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.” She wondered as the little guy snuggled into her lap and began to fall asleep.

Poe sauntered back into the living room, “uh-oh, looks like I’ve lost my place on the couch.”

“How about we move this into the bedroom?” Rey flushed when she realized her insinuation and knew Poe wouldn’t let it pass.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” She stared flatly at him as he held up his hands in response.

“I’m not the one who said it.”

Rey lightly smacked his arm and reached down to cradle the dog in her arms as she walked into the bedroom. Before she even made it to the bed, Poe raced ahead of her and pulled down the covers, allowing her to slip right underneath. She placed the pup next to her pillow and watched as he curled himself next to her.

“Man, I’ve really been replaced,” he sighed.

“What can I tell you, there’s a new man in my life.” Rey quipped.

“Well it was fun while it lasted.”

Rey smiled and kissed her boyfriend once again. She lifted herself forward and motioned for Poe to sit behind her.

“You sure?” Poe raised an eyebrow.

“Of course.”

Poe quickly scooted behind Rey and pulled her so she leaned back against his torso, semi-sitting on his lap. She contently laid her head on his chest and pet the sleeping puppy next to them.

Rey turned on a movie and felt her body relax and melt at the feeling of closeness Poe offered. She so missed times like this, just her and him, where nothing else mattered. Every once and a while, Poe would lean down and kiss her forehead or neck causing her to stir against him. She didn’t realize how much her movements were affecting him until she noticed Poe trying to shift away from her. Rey was about to ask what the matter was until she felt his hardness pushing against her lower back.

“Sorry sweetheart,” Poe spoke earnestly as he nervously cleared his throat.

Rey shifted so she was facing him more, “don’t worry about it, love,” she moved to place both hands on his cheeks and brought him in for a deep kiss.

“You know I could take care of that for you?” Rey shyly added as she bit her lip.

Poe sighed as he leaned his forehead against hers, “dear god woman, you’re gonna be the death of me.”

“I’m serious,” she laughed.

“It’s alright honey, don’t worry about me. We’ll do that another time, when you’re feeling better. Plus, we don’t want to scar the puppy on his first night here.”

“Your loss,” Rey mocked as she turned back facing the television.

“Don’t I know it.” He whispered.

Rey giggled as she snuggled back up against Poe, secretly proud of herself for not freaking out like she did the last time something like that happened. She was glad they were taking things slow and not putting pressure on anything. Rey loved Poe, and he loved her. That’s really all she needed to be happy right now.


	19. Shopping Trips and Friends

Rey walked into the shopping plaza, for once not late to meet Jess and Finn for the day date. Poe was working overtime because he found out if he worked weekends he got paid more than during the week. Rey didn’t know why Poe felt the need to earn some extra cash as he seemed to be doing well for himself but she didn’t push the matter. Sometimes it seemed like he just needed a day for himself which she respected, so she made plans with Finn and Jess to go shopping.

“Hey beautiful, it’s been a while,” Jess said as she pulled Rey into a hug.

“We gotta talk to Poe and remind him to share every now and again,” Finn joked.

“I know. I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, things at work have been a little crazy. I haven’t even seen much of my family lately. Plus, Poe and I are attempting to house train Chewy, which isn’t going very well. If I leave the house for more than a few hours, he pees on the floor.”

“Poe should be the one having to deal with it. He’s the one that sprung a dog on you without telling you.” Jess said.

“Well, I mean Poe practically lives at my place anyway, he’s around enough to help out.”

“Have you guys talked about moving in together? How would that even go with you two living next to each other, how would you decide whose flat to move into?” Finn asked as they walked into the first shop.

“It hasn’t really come up, we just sort of decide in the moment which one of us will stay at the others flat that night. We don’t spend every night together, but our clothing has sort of made its way into each other’s house.  I guess it would be better to just have one home where we both live, but we haven’t been going out that long. Isn’t it too soon?” Rey wondered.

“Rey, you guys have been dating for almost six months, that’s the longest relationship you’ve ever been in.” Jess claimed.

_Has it really been that long?_

“Just talk to Poe about it, see what he thinks,” Finn offered.

The boutique they were in had clothing that was much too expensive for them for but it was fun to look around. Finn suggested they go the other side of the plaza that had department stores, where stuff would be more in their price range.

“Do you and Poe have anything planned for Christmas yet?” Jess questioned.

“No, but it’s still two months away. Poe was talking about celebrating Thanksgiving, which is an American thing I guess. I don’t know. He wanted to cook me some sort of dinner so I guess we’ll be doing that.”

“Ooh can I come over?”

“Me too!” Finn shouted from the other aisle.

“Yeah sure, the more the merrier I guess. Maybe I’ll invite my family too.”

The three looked around a bit more and made their way to another department store which had clothing that was more their style. Finn found a new dress shirt for work and a nice pair of trousers. Jess was eyeing a pretty cocktail dress but it was a little pricey and she wasn’t sure where she would wear it.

Jess and Rey went to the fitting rooms as Rey had convinced her to at least try the dress on before she made a decision to leave it or not.

Jess spoke in a hushed tone even though it was just the two of them in the dressing room, “so how are things with Poe, have you two made any progress?”

Besides Leia and her therapist, Jess was really the only other person Rey confided in when it came to the more sensitive issues her and Poe had. She didn’t particularly think her and Poe’s sex life was anyone’s business but Jess was the closest thing Rey had to a sister and one day pretty soon after they had taken a break , she had just broken down and told her. Jessika had been so incredibly understanding and a shoulder to cry on. Rey was glad she had told her.

“Well, we sort of have taken a break from all that. We are just focusing on us and pretty much anything besides that. It comes across my mind every now and again and I’m sure it does for Poe too, but he doesn’t pressure me or anything. If I’m being honest, sometimes he’s a little too polite and I wish he would just make a move, but I get his hesitation.”

“What does your therapist say?”

“To take it one step at a time and it will all work out. The problem is Poe won’t even take that first step.”

“Maybe you should. He’s probably terrified that he’ll do something to trigger you or feel like he’s pressuring you which I’m sure is the last thing he wants to do. I bet if you made it clear that you’re ready, he’d be more than willing,” Jess stated confidently through the door.

“Maybe.”

Jess walked out in her little black dress with a huge smile on her face, “what do you think?”

“You look so gorgeous!” Rey giggled.

“I know, but it’s expensive,” Jess said looking down at the price tag.

“You know what, let me buy it for you. It’ll be an early birthday present.”

“Really?! Oh my god, thank you! I love you,” Jess shouted, bouncing up and down like a child.                   

They walked out of the dressing room to Finn holding an armful of clothing.

“We need to get out of this store before I spend my whole paycheck.” Finn said looking horrified with himself.

Rey and Finn bought their purchases and left the store with only a minor dent in their wallet. Jess spotted one more shop she wanted to go into and the two reluctantly followed her inside. They made it to the back when Finn’s phone rang and he excused himself outside. Rey wandered for a bit trying to find Jess, when she stumbled upon the more “adult” section of clothing. She looked around to make sure no one was watching as she started to look through an assortment of lingerie. Some of which was enough to make her blush. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Jess walking up to her and quickly turned around, pretending to be looking at something else.

“…Why don’t you get something?” Jessika said after a beat.

“What? No!” Rey flushed.

“Why not? You’ve totally got the body for it. I’m sure Poe would really like it.”

“I mean…I don’t even know what to look for, some of this stuff is so slutty.” Rey spoke in a hushed tone.

Jess began to look through the racks until she stumbled upon two pieces she deemed were classy, but still sexy. One was black with a lacey black and white pattern over the bust and a matching pair of panties. The other was also black but looked a little more like a dress, as it came down to the thigh area but had a very low-cut neckline that would practically show her entire cleavage, held together by a thin ribbon.

“Here, go try these on,” Jess said, handing Rey the articles.

“No! Jessika I’m not gonna try them on, put them back!” Rey could only imagine how red her face was at this point.

“Come on, if you don’t like them, then we won’t get them, but you’ll never know if you don’t try them on.” Jess convinced her and led Rey into the fitting rooms.

Rey hesitantly put the first piece on with the black and white lace pattern on the bust. She hated how it looked and made her feel slutty, not exactly how she’d like Poe to see her.

“Do you have one on yet?” Jessika questioned through the door.

“Yeah, but I don’t like it.”

“Well, try the other one.”

Rey sighed and quickly put on the other piece. She turned around to look herself in the mirror and was surprised when she didn’t dislike what she saw. The lingerie hit her mid-thigh and showed off just enough that it was sexy but still in a tasteful way. She didn’t even mind that a lot of cleavage was showing, in some weird way it made her feel a little more endowed than she was.

“Well?” Jess barked through the door.

“It’s not bad.”

“Let me see! Open the door.”

“No!” Rey shouted.

“Come on, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before!”

Rey groaned and tentatively opened the door only to be met with not only Jess…but also Finn.

They both screeched at once as Rey quickly shut the door and Finn covered his eyes.

“God dammit Jess! This is what you called me over for my opinion on? Are you serious?” Finn spat out, still covering his eyes, trying to get the image of his best friend in **THAT** out of his head.

Jess sat there laughing her ass off, “you’re gay what does it matter?”

“It matters okay! I’m gonna wait for you guys outside.” Finn stood up in a huff and walked out.

“Alright hon, he’s gone, you can come out now.”

“No! If you want to see me you can come in here. Poor Finn will probably never look at me again.”

“Oh he’ll get over it. I thought it would have been good to get a second opinion.” Jess quipped as she walked into Rey’s stall.

“Oh my god Rey, you look like a total babe! You have to get it.” Jess beamed.

“I don’t know Jess…”

“Fine, then I’ll get it for you, payback for the dress. I’m telling you, Poe will die when he sees you.”

“No, that is so weird, you’re not buying me lingerie.”

“You know I will.” Jess said straight-faced.

“Alright, you win, I’ll get it.” Rey begrudgingly accepted.

“Finally!” Jess laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are still enjoying this story, I wish I had the time to dedicate to it like I used to but...college  
> Still, I enjoy writing this when I'm not writing something for my classes, so there's that.
> 
> Also, not gonna lie, my best friend and I had an extremely similar shopping experience/moment as Jess and Rey did, but hey, that's what best friends are for, right? :)


	20. Just One Night

Poe was home by the time Rey walked in the door, back from her shopping trip. She came in to find him cooking dinner, which smelled incredible. As always, Chewy came bounding up to her, begging for attention.

“Hey sweetie, how was your day with Finn and Jessika?” He asked while stirring something in a pot, but taking a second to lean over and steal a kiss from her.

“It was fun. It sucks I don’t get to see them as often as I used to.”

“Yeah, I hear ya.” Poe sighed.

“How was work?”

“Same old same old, nothing really interesting. So, show me what you got at the shops.” Poe wiped his hands on a kitchen towel and turned to face her while slinging it over his shoulder. _I swear, he could look sexy doing just about anything._

She pulled out a couple tops and a scarf she had bought, while trying to hide the bag of lingerie from sight.

“Those are cute, that all? What’s in that bag?” Poe said as he pointed to the one hidden behind her.

“Oh, that’s nothing.” Rey shied as she stood in front of it.

“O...kay, well dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.” He supposed as he turned back around to face the stove.

Rey quickly grabbed her stuff and ran into the bedroom to put it away before Poe saw.   _Why did I even buy this stupid thing? Poe’s going to laugh at how ridiculous I look._ Rey sighed and walked back into the kitchen to see Poe setting the table.

“I made chicken parmesan over noodles, is that okay?” Poe asked as he went back over to the stove.

“Yeah of course, sounds delicious.” Rey had given up on trying to prepare any sort of meal for Poe. He was such an incredible cook that it was better for the both of them if she let him do it.

Rey grabbed her plate and let Poe serve her, then himself. Soon they were both sitting at the table in comfortable silence. Chewy had quickly learned that begging doesn’t get him anywhere, and opted for sleeping next to Rey’s chair.

“How was he when you came home? No accidents?” She asked.

“Yeah, he was good.”

Rey went back to eating her dinner silently, while mindlessly twirling the pasta on her fork.

“Is dinner alright? I could order us a pizza or something?” Poe wondered concernedly.

“No, no, it’s delicious, really.”

“Then what’s wrong, hon?”

_I’m about to make a fool of myself in front of the man I love._

“Nothing babe, just tired.”

“Me too, how about we make it an early night?” Poe leaned over and kissed Rey softly on the lips, causing a warmth deep within her.

“Sounds good to me,” Rey smiled.

 

After dinner, Poe was nice enough to clean up even though he made the meal as well, while Rey took a shower and tried to convince herself that she didn’t look ridiculous in her new lingerie. She must have been standing there, staring at herself in the mirror for a while because suddenly, she heard Poe knock on the bathroom door.

“Rey, is everything alright, can I get in there to brush my teeth?”

Rey quickly grabbed her robe hanging from the door and threw it on before letting him in. She made sure to cover herself completely as she walked past Poe and head for her bed. Her anxiety began to rise as she sat by herself, wishing she hadn’t put the stupid thing on. _Just relax, nothing has to happen tonight, this isn’t about sex. Who am I kidding; of course this is about sex._ Rey spent the next five minutes giving herself a pep talk until Poe opened the bathroom door and walked out without his shirt on.

Just seeing him made Rey sigh in relief. This is Poe we are talking about, the man who loves her more than anything and would give the world to her if he could. She loves him and wants to have this connection with him.

Poe gave her a smirk as he climbed into bed and threw his arm around her waist, pulling her close. Rey always enjoyed being close to Poe. He constantly made her feel safe. She leaned over and kissed him deeply, yet gently. Poe responded by rubbing her hip and angling her closer. He moved his kisses from Rey’s lips down to her neck and soon had her breathing heavily. He pulled away to see her smiling contently.

“I love you,” Poe whispered.

“I love you too,” she responded.

Poe resumed their make out session and began slowly tugging at her robe. Rey remembered what she was wearing underneath and blushed as he caught a glimpse at the top of her lingerie, revealing a good amount of cleavage.

“Wait…” Poe stopped and lowered one shoulder of Rey’s robe, “what are you wearing?”

Rey felt mortified and abruptly got up off the bed on the verge of tears.

“Nothing, it’s stupid,” Rey muttered, facing away from Poe, trying to hide her watery eyes.

“Hey, hey,” Poe hushed as he jumped off the bed, noticing Rey’s teary face while stepping in front of her so she wouldn’t walk out the door.

“What’s going on?”

“Jess convinced me to buy this stupid thing and it’s humiliating that I ever thought it would be a good idea.”

Rey noticed a shift in Poe’s eyes.

“May I?” He asked softly as he held the ribbon keeping her robe closed.

Rey nodded while keeping her eyes lowered as Poe slowly untied her robe and held it open, revealing her state of dress.

“Whoa,” Poe muttered, almost shakily.

“It’s ridiculous isn’t it?”

“Rey, you look so beautiful…and sexy.”

Rey felt her face flush and moved her gaze to meet Poe’s eyes. She felt her heart flutter when she saw the lust in them. Poe leaned down and captured her lips once again, while slowly pulling Rey’s robe off, leaving her in her lingerie.

Poe took a moment to pull away and look over his stunning girlfriend.

“You sure you wanna do this?” He whispered.

“Yes.”

With that, Poe walked them both back over to her bed, sitting down, with Rey standing in front of him.

“If you want to stop at any time, don’t be afraid to say something, okay?”

Rey nodded.

Poe put his hands on either side of Rey’s hips and pulled her onto his lap, so she was straddling him.

“I don’t know what to do,” she admitted quietly.

“That’s okay, just do whatever feels good, sweetheart.” Poe replied as he moved them over so he was lying against the pillows, lengthwise on the bed.

Rey returned to the one thing she did know how to do, which was get her man moaning by kissing all his sweet spots.

As she ran her lips down his neck, Poe moved his hands from her hips and inched them lower. Rey gasped and arched into his touch. Poe took the opportunity to nip at her collarbone and move further down to her bust. He looked her in the eye for a sign of approval before untying the ribbon that held the top of her lingerie closed and lowered the straps from her shoulders. Even though Poe had seen her topless before, something about this time was different. Rey didn’t feel as self-conscious about letting him see her and felt lust hit her harder under his gaze. 

As quickly as Rey had been on top of Poe, she suddenly found herself flipped over with her back to the bed and Poe above her. He had that sly grin plastered on his face that she loved so much, and couldn’t help but giggle.

“Oh you think that’s funny?” Poe teased as he began kissing her repeatedly all over her face, causing her to giggle further. His goal was to relax her as much as he could. Poe knew if for whatever reason, Rey was triggered and they had to stop, she would be devastated and heartbroken. She had been working so hard with her therapist to move on from what happened that he felt she deserved this, and prayed to whoever was listening that she could just have this one night.

Poe moved a piece of hair that had fallen over her face behind her ear, then caught her lips once again. This time, he moved down to her breasts and was encouraged by the adorable sounds she was making; he never wanted those to stop. He began nipping and biting a little harder, only to be met with moans. Poe trailed his wet lips down her abdomen, moving the bottom of her slip upwards, and felt Rey shudder as he reached the top of her black panties. 

Rey moved her hands to cover Poe’s as he slowly slipped her underwear off, along with her slip. She felt herself blush, realizing how close his face was to her center. Thankfully, he didn’t linger long and moved back up to her sweet, red lips. Rey felt their state of undress was a little uneven and tugged at the waistband of Poe’s sleep pants. He got the message and hastily removed them. Rey felt Poe’s hands trail up and down her bare hip, almost nervous to move any further.

“Poe…it’s okay. I trust you.”

It was what he needed to hear in that moment. He had been so nervous he would do something to inadvertently trigger her and ruin everything they had worked up to. Poe caught her mouth once again, sucking at her bottom lip, and calmly moved his thumb to brush against Rey’s clit. She sighed heavily against him as he ran his thumb up and down.  Poe could feel that she was already wet and wanting for him, making him hard against her thigh. He continued to play with her until he had her moaning his name, then began to insert one finger. Rey immediately tensed and winced her face shut.

“Babe, you okay?” Poe asked, immediately withdrawing his finger.

“Yeah, it just…hurt a little,” She knew her first time would be a little uncomfortable, but he hadn’t even gotten his finger in and she was in pain.

“Okay, we’ll just have to try something a little different,” Poe offered, sensing her discouragement.

He moved back to her clit and quickly got the reaction he wanted out of her. Before long, she had her hands entwined in his hair and her back was arching off the bed.

“Poe,” she spoke breathily, begging for release.

“I’ve got you,” he hushed against her lips.

Poe continued stroking her closer to the edge until he felt her shudder beneath him with a deep sigh. He relished in the way she gave herself to him, and looked at him with nothing but love in her eyes. He gave her a soft kiss and ran his hand through her hair.

“If you want to stop, that’s okay, you don’t have to worry about me,” Poe assured her.

“Uh-uh, this is about both of us. I want to make you feel good too,” Rey whispered, still catching her breath.

Poe gave her a smile and resumed kissing her wherever he could. He hoped that after she had an orgasm, she wouldn’t be as tight and in as much pain as before. Without realizing it, Rey had begun to tug as his boxers and managed to push them half down his legs. When he removed them and returned his gaze back to her, she had a look of self-satisfaction on her face.

“You’re way too proud of yourself right now,” Poe joked.

She responded with a snicker that quickly turned into a groan as Poe nipped at her breast and subconsciously rocked himself against her leg. He stopped himself from going further as he reached into the side table and grabbed a condom from the box he had kept there since they first started trying.

When Rey saw him put the condom on, her nerves began to rise again. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was scared it was going to hurt or if she was scared of having to stop after they had gotten this far. She was positive that Poe was the man she wanted to do this with, maybe for the rest of her life, but she was still anxious.

Poe noticed her tense right away, “you sure about this honey? I mean it when I say we can stop.”

 _Why did he have to be such a gentleman?_ Rey almost wished he would stop asking, for fear that she would say she wanted to stop, when she didn’t.

She answered him by catching his lips and pulling him down to her with her hands wrapped around the back of his head.

While he distracted her with his lips and caresses, he reached between them and positioned himself at her entrance. Poe rested his forehead on her shoulder as he attempted to press in. Rey scrunched her eyes shut and tried not to let on how uncomfortable she was. Finally, the pain just became too much and she made the mistake of whimpering. Poe’s head lifted off her shoulder and saw at once, how much pain she was in.

“Rey, sweetheart, are you okay?”

Rey just shook her head and Poe noticed the look of defeat in her eye. His heart dropped and quickly scrambled to fix the situation.

“Here, I’ve got an idea, why don’t you flip on your side so you’re facing me?” Poe explained as he moved so he was lying the same way, but facing her as well.

“This way you can still see me and touch me, and you can be more in control.” He whispered, still trying to keep the mood going by keeping his hands on her.

Poe brought Rey closer into him until they were almost chest to chest, then moved his hand down her outside leg and brought it up to wrap around his hip.

“This okay?” He whispered as he felt himself line up with Rey once again, hoping this position would be easier on her.

Rey nodded as she closed her eyes and leaned her forehead on Poe’s chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, holding herself tightly to him.

Poe kissed Rey’s hairline and just enjoyed the close feeling of their bodies intertwined with one another. He continued to hold Rey’s leg around him and lightly pushed into her. The room was filled with mostly silence. Occasionally, one of them would breathe heavily or gasp at the feeling of Poe slowly stretching her. It was a slow and quiet process, but Poe wanted her first time to be filled with nothing but love and comfort. He got about halfway before stopping and gave them both a minute to adjust, while peppering her face with kisses and making sure she was alright.

Rey didn’t feel nearly as much pain in this position, just more discomfort, but she loved how much Poe was taking the time to make sure she was okay and still happy. When she felt Poe finally seated in her completely, the discomfort was beginning to subside.

“God you feel so good,” Poe sighed in a breathy tone, trying to be mindful to not move just quite yet, as Rey was still adjusting.

Rey couldn’t help but smile and leaned up to capture Poe’s lips once again and ever so slowly, began rocking her hips.

Poe released his tight hold on Rey’s thigh and moved it so he was gripping her waist. He closed his eyes and moaned at the feeling of Rey moving along his cock. It had taken them so long to get to this moment that the buildup was even better than he could have imagined.  He couldn’t believe this beautiful woman in front of him was allowing him to be a part of this special moment. He must have done something right in life to be lucky enough to end up with her.

Poe wanted to change angles and see if he could really get a rise out of her, even though he loved that she was in control.

Before Rey realized what was happening, Poe had her flipped onto her back with him on top of her once again, without breaking contact. He hitched her leg up a little to get a better angle and soon had her whimpering loudly with his movements. Poe felt her getting close and backed off a little, lowering his head to nip and caress her collarbone down to her breasts, before grabbing her lips again, hungrily. Rey wrapped both legs around Poe’s hips and impatiently urged him to move.

“Eager to finish? It’s not that bad is it, sweetheart?” Poe teased, earning him a slap on the shoulder.

“Please just fuck me already,” she said confidently, surprising them both.

Poe could have sworn his heart stopped at hearing Rey speak so dirty to him.

“Anything for you, sexy girl,” he laughed and resumed his steady rhythm.

Soon, the room was filled with nothing but heavy breaths and moans that neither of them could tell which one of them was making. He picked up the pace and swiftly rocked himself in and out of Rey, feeling them both coming close to the end. Poe laid his head on Rey’s shoulder and concentrated on getting her to finish first. He moved the one hand that wasn’t holding her waist, to her clit, making quick circles as she bucked against him.

“Poe,” she whimpered, right on the edge of release.

“Come on Rey, I’ve got you. Cum for me, beautiful,” Poe whispered and immediately felt Rey shudder beneath him with a loud moan.

“Oh my god, Poe.”

Just hearing her shout his name in ecstasy sent Poe over the edge, slowly stilling on top of her. He spent some time kissing her gently on her neck and shoulder, before pulling out slowly. Rey sighed and turned on her side to face Poe, as he did the same. He immediately pulled her into a hug as she burrowed her head into the crook of his neck, smiling to herself.

“I love you so much Rey,” he murmured into her hair.   

Rey giggled, “I love you too, Poe.”

He begrudgingly left her embrace for a moment to run to the bathroom and dispose of the condom and grab a wash towel for her. After cleaning up, he returned to the bed and held his naked girlfriend close, kissing her every chance he could and rubbed gentle circles on her back. She felt so warm and perfect melted against his body that he never wanted to let go.   

“I can’t believe I waited so long to do that,” she sighed against his chest with her eyes closed.

“I’m glad we did, it just made it all the better,” Poe said with a smirk, pulling the bed sheet up around them after feeling Rey shiver.

Poe watched as Rey was soon lulled to sleep in his arms. As he watched her chest move up and down, Poe knew he wanted to spend every night for the rest of his life making this girl feel safe and happy.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it took 20 chapters, but they finally did it. This is my first time writing smut so it took a little while but I'll get more comfortable with it eventually. I hope you guys thought it was realistic for these two that I love so much.


	21. A Day in Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long. The past couple weeks have been insane but my semester ends soon so hopefully updates will be a little more frequent.  
> Happy Thanksgiving!

Poe woke up to the sun shining into Rey’s bedroom, creating a warm and comfortable heat on his bare back. Rey was wrapped around him still and he was sure that neither of them had moved an inch since last night. He pressed his nose to Rey’s hair and closed his eyes once again as she still lay sleeping next to him. In the morning light, her beauty projected through the silence surrounding them. Poe wished he could wake up like this every day, but cherished this one in case it was a while before it happened again.

The sheet that Poe had wrapped around them last night had fallen down around their hips, revealing every curve of Rey’s body. He still felt as though he wasn’t worthy of seeing Rey’s naked form even though she had given herself to him completely only a few hours ago. Poe reached down and pulled the sheet up around her, causing Rey to stir.

She slowly squint her eyes open to find Poe sleepily smiling at her.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hey.”

Rey wrapped her arms tighter around Poe’s waist and pulled herself even closer to him, loving the feeling of his arms around her.

“How are you feeling?” Poe asked softly, kissing her forehead.

“A little sore but it’s okay, it was worth it,” she replied into his chest.

“Do you want me to run a bath for you?” Poe offered, feeling a little guilty.

“I’d rather lie in bed with you for another hour,” Rey smiled.

Poe chuckled and rubbed small circles on her back, lulling her back to sleep.

 

Poe woke up for a second time to find that Rey wasn’t next to him. He looked over to see the bathroom empty and quickly rose out of bed. He walked out of Rey’s bedroom and instantly saw her standing over the stove wearing only one of his shirts. Poe moved up behind her and surprised her by throwing his arms around her abdomen.

“Oh! Gosh Poe, you’re gonna make me burn myself on the pan,” she shrieked.

“Sorry sweetheart, couldn’t help myself. What are you up to?”

“I was planning on surprising you with breakfast in bed but I’m such an awful cook that I burned the eggs and had to start over. So it took twice as long as it should have,” Rey explained as she turned around in his arms to give him a quick kiss.

“Here, why don’t I help you with that, for both our sakes,” he teased.

Rey laughed while she smacked his arm and soon found herself being picked up and placed onto the counter next to the stove.

Rey would be forever grateful that there was no awkwardness between them after last night. Her and Poe went back to how they always were around each other, if not even more comfortable with one another.

“You seem happy,” Poe said while turning off the stove and moving to stand in between Rey’s spread legs, as she sat contentedly on the countertop.  

“That’s because I am happy, I love you.”

Poe leaned in to take Rey’s lips softly between his.

“What would you like to do today, my love?” Poe asked while resting his hands on the side of Rey’s thighs.

“How about we eat, then stay in bed all day and just be with each other?” She suggested in a flirtatious tone that had Poe biting his lip to keep himself from moaning.

“Sounds perfect to me.” He whispered with a light kiss to her forehead.

Rey quickly found herself being hoisted off the counter by Poe and being carried back into her bedroom.

“What about breakfast?” She giggled.

“That can wait!” Poe shouted as he ran with Rey in his arms, loving the sound of her squealing and laughing.

* * *

 

Rey rubbed her hand on Poe’s cheek and just stared at him. He had that sly grin plastered across his face that made her heart flutter. They were both covered in a layer of sweat but she thought Poe had never looked sexier than naked in her arms, allowing himself to be completely vulnerable.

“What?” Poe laughed.

“I was just thinking how I wish we could always wake up like this,” she whispered.

“I was thinking the same thing earlier,” he replied as he pulled Rey closer to kiss her forehead.

“Then why don’t we?” She exclaimed sitting up a little, with the sheet wrapped around her torso.

“What, live together?”

“Yeah, I mean we practically live together anyway but this way we wouldn’t have to pay for two flats…unless of course you don’t want to.”

“Of course I want to! I hate when we have to spend time apart.”

Rey giggled and leaned in to repeatedly kiss Poe’s face, wherever she could reach.

“I guess I’ll move in to your place?” Poe asked.

“The perks of being the girlfriend,” Rey winked.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask if you invited your family over for Thanksgiving yet?”

“Yeah, they all said they want to come even if we don’t quite understand what it is you’re talking about.”

“It’ll be fun, I promise. Plus, I’ll cook.”

“Obviously.”

“I should probably go check on Chewy  and take him outside, it’s been awhile.” Poe sighed.

“Then will you take your clothes back off and stay in bed with me?” Rey asked shyly.

“Good god woman, how could I say no to that?” Poe asked, placing one more kiss on Rey’s lips.


	22. Dependency

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. I am sooooooooo sorry I haven't updated in almost a month. The end to this semester was so draining and crazy that I didn't want to write ANYTHING. I'm feeling a little more motivated now so hopefully the next update won't be so far away. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me guys. This chapter's a little short but I'm just starting to get back into the swing of things.

Rey walked through the door carrying bags of groceries containing all the items Poe wrote down for their Thanksgiving dinner. She was beginning to get excited at the prospect of this huge meal where she would be surrounded by her friends in family. As of right now, she and Poe were expecting ten people. Rey placed the bags on the kitchen counter and noticed Chewy running towards her.

“Hey buddy, where’s your dad huh?” Rey wondered, a little surprised he hadn’t come to help her with the groceries.

“Poe?” Rey called into the flat, without receiving an answer.

She walked into the living room to see Poe sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

“Poe?” She sat next to him and put her hand on his shoulder, effectively startling him.

At once Rey noticed his red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

“Honey, what’s wrong,” she asked hurriedly.

 “It’s my dad,” he whispered, “he had a heart attack.”

“Oh my god, when?”

“This morning, I got a call from the hospital…I was his emergency contact.” Poe explained almost robotically.

Rey sat next to him quietly with a hand moving gently up and down Poe’s back.

“I fucked up, Rey.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I haven’t talked to my dad in over a year, since I moved out here actually. After my mom died, I severed all ties with my family. It was just easier that way.” Poe spoke as he fought through tears.

“I should have just picked up the phone. In a year, I couldn’t have just talked to him for ten minutes?”

“Hun, you can’t do that to yourself,” Rey tried.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Rey stood up to get her laptop, “I’ll look for tickets on the next plane out.”

“What?”

“Well, we’re going to see him, aren’t we?”

“What about our Thanksgiving dinner? I was going to cook for all your friends and family, you just bought all that food.” Poe spit out nervously. Rey could tell he was looking for excuses.

“Poe, don’t worry about all that. It’s not a big deal, I’ll have my aunt come and get the food so it won’t go bad.” Rey said as she sat down with her computer in her lap.

Poe moved closer to her and leaned his head on Rey’s shoulder, solemnly.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“It’s what I’m here for babe.” She leaned down to kiss his forehead and felt Poe relax instantly.

Rey quickly found tickets for a next day flight that were relatively cheap and purchased them. Poe had been fairly quiet during this time and she was trying to decide if she should talk to him or let him be. Her decision was made for her when she moved her computer to the table and Poe laid his head on her lap. Not long after, she felt his body shaking and looked down to see tears falling down her love’s face. She rubbed his arm soothingly and let him cry without acknowledging it and potentially making him self-conscious.

“I’m such an asshole.”

“Don’t say that.”  

“I am. What the hell am I going to say to my dad when I see him? ‘Hey, sorry I haven’t spoken to you in over a year and abandoned you after mom died, hope you don’t kick the bucket as well?’”

“Try not to think about that now. You’ve had an emotional day and you aren’t doing yourself any favors by thinking a million horrible thoughts. We’ll figure it out when we get there, and I’ll be right there with you.” Rey spoke softly while combing her hand through Poe’s lush hair.

Poe turned around so he was facing Rey, still with his head in her lap, and wrapped his arms around her like his life depended on it.

Even if it didn’t, his sanity most certainly did.


	23. I'm sorry

The past night as well as this morning had been extremely hectic for them both. Rey noticed that Poe was having a difficult time dealing with the situation. She often found him staring off into the distance or her questions being met with dead silence. She took it in stride and decided that this was just how he was processing everything. It wasn’t for her to judge or comment, lord knows she didn’t always cope with things well. Instead, she tried to keep Poe focused on small tasks such as feeding Chewy or taking him outside, while she packed both their suitcases and called Ben to see if he would house-sit for them.

Rey walked out of the bedroom and placed their bags by the door. As she turned around and looked to the kitchen, she found Poe staring out the window above the sink with the water still running. Slowly, she walked over to him and gently put her arms around his waist. She felt him tense at first, then sighed, realizing it was her.

“Hey, you still here?” She whispered.

“Yeah,” he muttered unconvincingly.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Poe held her arms that were still wrapped around his middle and looked over his shoulder at the woman he loved. He did what came natural to him and hid his feelings by putting on a brave face. He had already broken down once in front of her and he never wanted to do that again. He was supposed to be there for Rey and make sure she was safe and happy.

“Nothing sweetheart, I’m fine.”

Rey’s heart instantly broke and held him a little tighter while lying her head against his back. She wished he would let himself be vulnerable with her like he was when they were lying in bed together. It’s not like he had to cry around her, even though she didn’t mind that, she just wished he would talk to her.

Just as Rey was about to say something, there was a knock at the door. She reluctantly let go of Poe and walked over to let Ben in.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Rey said as she gave him a quick hug.

“I’m not sure when we’ll be back but I’ll let you know if we aren’t going to be home by the end of the week. Chewy’s food is in the bottom cabinet. Feel free to eat the food in the fridge, otherwise it’ll go bad, and thanks again for doing this.”

“No problem. Hey, do you mind if Talia comes over and hangs out.”

“Sure, just no sex on the couch,” Rey smirked.

“Eww, gross. Why would your mind even go to that?”

“Cause I know you,” she chuckled.

Ben noticed Poe was sitting in a kitchen chair quietly while staring at the floor. He met Rey’s eyes and saw the worry in them. He put on a fake, cheery smile and hurried over to Poe.

“Hey buddy, just wanted to let you know I’m gonna take good care of Chewy and the house. I’ll try not to burn it down or let him poop on your bed.”

To that, Poe looked up at his girlfriend’s sort-of cousin, and laughed. He genuinely laughed, and Rey couldn’t have been more thankful for Ben in that moment.

“Come on love, we should head to the airport.” Rey said as she moved to give Ben a goodbye hug.

“I’m coming,” he said as he stood up slowly, the smile gone from his face.

Ben gave Rey a wink and waved goodbye as they both went out the door.  

* * *

 

The plane ride felt like one of the longest of Rey’s life. It was already a ten hour flight but without Poe talking to her, the flight time felt doubled. She felt completely helpless. Poe had never shut her out before, not like this anyway. He didn’t seem to want to talk about anything, even insignificant things like what they thought Chewy and Ben were doing right now or if they wanted to grab food after they got off the plane. Rey felt like she was sitting next to a ghost the whole time and it unnerved her.

They grabbed their luggage from baggage claim and head out to hail a cab. It was quite late so they would head to the hospital tomorrow instead of disturbing Poe’s dad tonight. They arrived at their hotel in no time and checked in. The room was pretty nice and spacious. In different circumstances, it would have felt like a spontaneous get away for the two of them.

Rey noticed Poe sitting on the bed, looking a little lost. It was almost as if he had forgotten how to function overnight and she didn't know what to do about it.

“Hon, why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll order some room service?” She offered kindly and watched as Poe stood up and walked into the bathroom without a word.

She sighed and sat down to call the front desk and order some food. Rey had a feeling Poe wouldn’t eat much but she didn’t care, she was starving after their long day.

The food came while Poe was still in the shower, which Rey realized had been a while. While she waited for him, she changed into one of Poe’s long shirts she often wore to bed. After five more minutes, she decided to get up and make sure he was okay.

“Poe, is everything alright?” She asked while gently knocking on the door.

Rey tried not to panic when she didn’t get a response.

“Poe?” She spoke a little louder. 

Nothing.

“I’m coming in okay?” Rey said as she opened the bathroom door to a sight that broke her heart.  

Poe was sitting on the floor of the shower with his knees to his chest while resting his head on his hands. The water was steadily running down his body as he sat, crying softly to himself.

Rey quickly ran over to shut the water off and bent down to Poe’s level. He startled slightly when he saw her, then threw his arms around her middle. She obligingly moved to sit next to him on the wet, shower floor and let him cry into her chest as she held him. Rey realized in that moment just how much this was affecting Poe. She figured it wasn’t just about his dad having a heart attack, but also about his mom too.

“Love, let’s get a towel around you, you’re shivering,” she spoke delicately as she reached up and grabbed a towel to wrap around his wet, naked form.

“I’m sorry,” Poe whispered.

“Shh, you have nothing to be sorry about,” she soothed.

“You shouldn’t be seeing me like this…I never meant for you to see me like this,” he sobbed while trying to catch his breath.

“Poe, it’s okay to get emotional, lord knows I have many times. You were always there for me no matter how much I tried to push you away. Now it’s my turn to be here for you. Please don’t be embarrassed in front of me. I’ve done plenty more embarrassing things in front of you, trust me.”

Poe stared up at her, confused.

“Remember the first day I met you, you found my lingerie when you were helping me unpack? Or the time you had dinner with my family and my uncle told you not to get me pregnant. We hadn’t even started dating yet!” She reminisced, which actually got a chuckle out of Poe.

“I will admit, I did imagine you wearing those undergarments quite often…before we got together,” Poe rasped in a low voice, “I’m just grateful I’m actually allowed to see you in those sexy things now, and you look way better in them than you did in my imagination.”

Rey giggled and couldn’t help but blush. She loved this man in her arms so much. It killed her to see the kind of pain he was in. However, she was glad he was actually talking to her now. Even if the only topic she could get him to talk about was her underwear.

“We should probably get off this potentially disgusting shower floor and go eat the delicious food I ordered,” Rey said.

“Good idea.”

Poe walked out of the bathroom and grabbed a pair of boxers to throw on. He sat on the edge of the bed with Rey and the two ate in silence while watching mindless television. Soon, they both found themselves wrapped up in each other’s arms, attempting to sleep.


	24. Too Much Time

Poe hadn’t slept well last night. He tossed and turned for hours on end, while trying not to wake Rey. Unfortunately for him, she always sensed when he was in distress and woke up with him every time he jolted out of his light sleep. She held and comforted him to the best of her ability but Poe just couldn’t fall asleep.

Fed up with his sleepless state, he finally decided to get up before the sun had even risen, and get ready for the day. He spent more time than he realized sitting at the small table in their room trying to mentally prepare himself for what was to come. He hadn’t seen his father in over a year and now he was about to visit him in a hospital bed. Poe hadn’t received any more updated news from the hospital staff and was anxious to just get there.

He looked over his shoulder at Rey, who was finally getting some sleep after a long night of restlessness. As much as he wanted to get this day over with, he didn’t have the heart to wake her. Poe felt his heart start to race unexpectedly and began to feel incredibly anxious. He moved to get up from the table and quietly made his way back over to the bed. Poe laid back down on top of the blankets and turned on his side towards Rey, gently placing his arm around her. He didn’t mean to wake her but he needed the feeling of her against him to calm himself down. Poe wasn’t sure where the sudden panic attack came form but he must have been breathing hard enough to startle Rey out of her peaceful sleep.

“Hey, hey, is everything alright?” She whispered in a sleepy tone while placing a hand on his cheek.

“I don’t know,” Poe answered honestly.

“How long have you been up?” Rey asked, noticing he was no longer under the sheets with her.

“Maybe an hour?”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You were up all night, I just wanted you to get some sleep. I’m sorry I woke you, I didn’t mean to,” he spoke on the verge of tears.

Rey hushed him quickly, forcing the guilt out of his head, then proceeded to softly kiss his face wherever she could reach. She wiped the tears that began to fall down his cheeks and kissed him deeply on the lips, letting him know that it was going to be okay and that she was here for him. Poe said nothing, just snuggled into Rey’s chest a little more and held her tightly. He felt himself begin to drift off as Rey ran her fingers through his hair while rubbing his back.

 

Poe woke again still in Rey’s arms, a few hours later. This time she was awake before him, watching him with loving eyes.

“Hey, how do you feel?” Rey asked gently.

“Much better,” he murmured.

“Do you want to head to the hospital?”

Poe nodded his head then buried his face into Rey’s neck, trying to get as close to her as possible. She giggled and wrapped her arms around him. After a couple minutes, she got out of bed much to Poe’s dismay. He laid on his back with his arms behind his head, watching as Rey got undressed. Sometimes Poe felt like a pervy old man when Rey stripped naked in front of him. He had seen her unclothed many times but to some extent, Poe felt like he didn’t deserve to. Rey was too good for him and he thanked whoever was listening every day that he ended up with her.

Rey noticed Poe watching her with a somewhat guilty look on his face and walked over.

“You know it’s okay to look, right?” She said in a teasing tone.

Poe only responded with a nod and slight smile. Rey leaned down to kiss him sweetly and pulled him out of bed. They took a shower together and grabbed breakfast in the hotel restaurant before heading to the hospital. The ride felt like it took forever for Poe. He was still trying to figure out what he was going to say to his father when he saw him, if his dad was even awake.

They walked to the information desk and grabbed wrist bands, then head to the floor Poe’s dad was on.

“Do you want to go in by yourself or do you want me to come with you?” Rey asked.

“Um, I guess I should go first, see how he is,” Poe answered solemnly.

Poe walked to the nurse’s station and asked for the room number. The nurse he talked to had actually been working with Kes and filled Poe in on how he was doing. Turns out, he was in stable condition and after a few more tests, would be sent home in a few days. Poe breathed a sigh of relief and walked with Rey to his dad’s room. She waited outside the door, while Poe timidly walked inside.

“Dad?” He said quietly, as it looked like he was asleep.

Kes slowly opened his eyes and lit up when he saw his son standing next to him.

“Poe?”

“Yeah dad, it’s me. I heard you were in the hospital and came to make sure you were okay.” He replied as he sat in the chair next to the bed.

“You didn’t have to fuss with flying over here just for me, I’ll survive.”

“I missed you dad, it’s been awhile.”

“It has. So long so that I don’t recognize the pretty lady standing outside the door.” Kes said while pointing at Rey.

“That’s my girlfriend, Rey. We’ve been dating for almost a year.”

“Has it been that long,” Kes reacted with the slight hint of hurt in his eyes, “well bring her in so I can meet her.”

“Rey!” Poe called.

She shyly stepped through the door with a smile that lit up the room and walked over to Kes’s bed.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” Rey moved to shake his hand, which had an IV sticking out of it.

“Please, call me Kes. Sir makes me feel like an old man, and despite how this looks, I like to think I’m still young.”

Rey laughed and quickly fell into easy conversation with his father. Poe watched as the two bonded as if they were old friends. As he sat next to the bed, Poe began to feel more and more guilty. He kept his dad and the rest of his family out of his life for far too long. Poe didn’t deserve the love and happiness the two people in front of him offered. He desperately wanted to go back to how things were, but Poe feared that it was too late, that too much time had been wasted.


	25. Hospitals and Hotel Bars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I apologize for the long wait. College is hard man, haha.

Rey and Poe had been at the hospital with his dad for most of the day. At some point, Rey noticed a shift in Poe. As each hour passed, he became more quiet and introverted, often staring into space or looking at his feet. Rey could sense a heaviness about him and wished she could tell what he was thinking. Kes had been so kind to her all day and she really couldn’t believe how well they got on. He always knew how to keep the conversation going, much like Poe, and seemed to have an upbeat way about him.

Rey suggested that she and Poe go grab food for the three of them that wasn’t hospital food and Poe seemed happy at the thought of leaving for a while. They silently walked down the many mazelike hallways until they exited out the front door and waited for their cab.

“Maybe we should get a rental car, instead of paying all this money in cab fare,” Rey suggested while texting Ben to see how everything as going.

“I don’t anticipate staying for much more than another day or two, doesn’t really make sense to pay for a rental car,” Poe spoke flatly, not making eye contact with her.

“What do you mean? We don’t know when they will discharge him and don’t you think he’ll need some help at home for a few days?” She spoke carefully, trying to assess where Poe’s mind was at.

“Nah, he’ll be fine. He’s a tough guy,” he said flippantly and nonchalant.

“Come on Poe, you know we can’t do that.”

“Rey, I just want to get out of here as soon as we can and be done with this whole thing,” Poe said with a hint of sorrow in his eye.

“Poe…” Rey tried before their cab showed up and Poe hopped in before she could finish her thought.

The ride to the deli down the street was only a few blocks away but with Poe once again giving her the silent treatment, it felt like it would never end. They ordered their sandwiches and sat at the counter while waiting for them to be ready.

Poe was leaning on his hand with his elbow outstretched towards her, giving him to opportunity to be close to Rey without him having to say that he needed it. Rey could tell he wasn’t mad at her, possibly angrier with himself than he had let on. She took the opportunity to put her arm around his shoulder and lightly rub his arm. Poe seemed to lean into her touch more and was practically leaning on her when their order was finally handed to them.

The cab ride back was still silent but it was more comfortable; Poe had immediately reached for Rey’s hand and hadn’t stopped holding it until they reached the hospital. They went back up to Kes’s room and ate their sandwiches while watching some cheesy Spanish soap opera she had never heard of but was apparently one of Kes’s favorites.

After they had finished, Poe made a judgement call that it was time to leave for the night and Rey said goodbye to Kes with a hug.

“It was lovely spending the day with you Rey, you’re a wonderful young lady. Poe did well for himself,” Kes stated brightly while eyeing his son.

“It was nice meeting you too, I look forward to coming back tomorrow.” With that, Rey left the room, recognizing Poe staying behind as him wanting a minute alone with his father.

“She’s beautiful my boy, and has such a lovely spirit.” Kes said softly as Poe sat on the chair next to his bed and held his hand.

“I have to be honest with you, Rey was the one that pushed me to come here. I felt so guilty that after mom died, I severed every last tie I had with this family and I didn’t want to face your disappointment in me. I’m so sorry,” Poe uttered on the verge of tears.

“Your mom’s death was hard on all of us but I have to admit, I was surprised when you left, but I was never disappointed in you.”

“I just snapped after I found out Sarah was cheating on me. She was my support through all of it and when I found out it was all a lie, I didn’t want to be within a thousand miles of her. Unfortunately, that meant I turned my back on you when you needed me.”

Kes noticed the tears beginning to fall down his son’s face, “Hijo, I don’t blame you for needing to take some time away and figure things out. It obviously worked in your favor with meeting Rey and all.”

“I didn’t even pick up the phone. You could have been dead and I would have never known.” Poe was full on crying now, praying Rey couldn’t hear him outside.

“So what? You’re here now and that’s all that matters, even if your girlfriend is the one who dragged you here,” Kes quipped, trying to wipe Poe’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry, can you ever forgive me?”

“I forgave you the day you left. I knew it was in your best interest that you got away from everything before you ended up in jail for some alcohol induced bar fight. Tell me, you still seeing someone for your flashbacks?”

“I am, I made sure of it. Especially since I started dating Rey. I never want her to see that side of me.”

“Even if she does, I’m sure she’ll still be there on the other side of it, she just seems like that type of person to me.” Kes smiled.

Poe took a long breath, “I…I think I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

Now, Kes felt himself welling up, “oh my boy, you don’t know how happy you just made me. You’re perfect for each other, not to mention I need a grandchild before it’s my time to go.”

“Dad!” Poe laughed through tears but couldn’t help but lean forward and hold his father in his arms. Even though he regretted the past couple years, this more than made up for it.

“When are you going to ask her?”

“I’m not sure, haven’t really found the right moment yet,” Poe reached into his coat pocket and looked towards the door to make sure Rey couldn’t see, “I bought this a couple weeks ago, been working overtime to afford it.”

Poe pulled out a little black box that held a beautifully simple diamond ring with two black stones on either side of it.

“It’s absolutely beautiful, she’ll love it, son.” Kes beamed.   

Poe put the box back in his pocket and gave his dad one last hug goodbye before leaving the hospital with Rey in hand.

“Feel better?” She asked.

“Much,” he replied, then held up her hand to his lips to kiss it softly, earning a smile from his beautiful girl.

“Why don’t we grab some drinks at the hotel bar, wind down a bit?” Poe offered to which Rey responded with an enthusiastic, “yes!”

They went back to their hotel room first to clean up and change into something a little nicer. Poe was finishing buttoning his dress shirt when Rey came out of the bathroom wearing a sexy red cocktail dress. Poe didn’t even know she owned such an article of clothing.

Rey was quite pleased with herself when she walked into the bedroom to find Poe slack jawed, admiring her evening look. In the past, she never would have worn such a thing, but she knew how much Poe liked when she dressed a little sexy, even though he always tried to convince her that he liked her in sweats and a t-shirt just as much.

“You look beautiful, Rey,” Poe spoke almost inaudibly.

Her only response was to lean up a kiss him, “let’s go get those drinks.”

Poe and Rey were at the bar for about an hour, gradually drinking wine and talking about everything and nothing. It felt nice to take their minds off of life for a short period of time.

“So how’s Ben and Chewy doing, he’s remembered to feed him right?” Poe asked while taking a sip of wine.

“They seem alright, I haven’t gotten any panicked texts from Ben so I assume everyone is still alive and well,” she giggled.

“You know, putting the circumstances aside, this is our first trip away together,” Poe inferred.

“That’s true, maybe we should make the most of our time away with each other,” Rey replied with a glint of hidden mischief that only Poe would recognize.

“What did you have in mind my lady?” Poe said, playing along.

“Well, I may or may not be wearing underwear right now,” Rey whispered in a matter a fact way that might have led Poe to think she was joking, until she winked at him before sipping her drink.

“Oh my god,” Poe sighed, trying to maintain his cool and not do anything embarrassing in the middle of this upscale bar.

Rey gave him one last smirk before standing up and making her way to the restrooms towards the back. Poe took a second to look around him and see if anyone was paying them any mind, then he too, stood up and as calmly as he could, made his way to the back.

He walked to the ladies room and prayed no one else but Rey was in there. _They couldn’t have had single stall restrooms huh?_

Poe opened the door and found himself being pulled into one of the stalls by Rey.

“Geez sweetheart, we a little excited?” He smirked before taking Rey’s lips between his and pushing her back against the stall door.

They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. This was perhaps the most frenzied they had ever been. Poe generally liked to take his time with Rey, often cautious not to trigger her, but Rey was taking the lead on this one and she didn’t seem to be keen on taking it slow.

Poe finally pulled away from Rey’s wet lips to place a trail of kisses from her jaw to her collarbone, earning the reaction he wanted from her. Poe could tell she was trying to keep quiet, but was failing miserably. He placed his hands on her bare thighs and slowly trailed up to find she truly wasn’t wearing underwear.

“God you’re already so wet, love. You’re gonna give this old man a run for his money,” he spoke breathily between kisses.

Rey couldn’t help but giggle at both the absurdness of Poe’s statement and their current situation. She was trying to be less shy when it came to sex with Poe and this was perhaps a bit of a giant leap forward.

“You gonna take care of it or am I going to have to?” She said with a raised eyebrow.

Poe laughed and captured her lips once again, while slowly moving his hand back to her aching center. Rey gasped as she felt Poe’s finger rub circles around her clit. Poe silenced her moans with his mouth to the best of his ability. He felt her shudder as he dipped his finger into her wet core, “fuck,” he whispered.

Nothing excited Poe more than hearing Rey fall apart at his touch. Poe had been with a few women before and had a couple exciting experiences, but nothing compared to right now, making the woman he loved moan his name over and over.

Poe began to pick up a steady pace, pumping his finger in and out as Rey wrapped her arms around Poe’s neck and laid her head on his shoulder, completely lost in their own world.

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open and they both froze as someone walked towards the sink and turned the water on.

Poe noticed Rey’s face immediately turn red with both pleasure and humiliation at possibly getting caught. He held a finger up to his mouth and waited with bated breath for the woman to leave. After what felt like forever, they heard the door open and close once again.

The lovers looked at each other and couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“Holy shit that was close,” Rey muttered.

“Tell me about it, thirty more seconds and I would have had you coming undone on my hand.”

Rey couldn’t help but blush and buried her face in Poe’s chest, “that’s not what I meant, Dameron.”

“How about we take this upstairs and finish what we started?” He said giving her a wink.

“Sounds good to me,” Rey whispered, pulling Poe in for one more kiss.


	26. Star Crossed Sweethearts

Poe quickly paid for their drinks and grabbed Rey’s hand as they ran out of the bar and head to the elevator. Once they finally made it to their door, Poe hurried in and picked Rey up under her thighs, effectively wrapping her legs around his waist. He loved hearing her giggle and squeal as he carried her to their bed, gently placing her on her back and making quick work of his shirt and shoes.

Poe finally joined her on the bed, straddling her hips and began kissing her up and down, from her neck to her chest, loving the sound of her breathing get quicker and heavier. He could tell her body was still buzzing from earlier and decided to continue with their more hurried pace. Rey seemed to be on the same page as she made fast work of her dress and let Poe slide it down and off her body, while she grabbed at his belt buckle with shaking hands.

“Hey, you okay? Do you need me to slow down?” Poe asked in his husky, hushed voice she loved so much.

“No, just eager to get to the good part but someone keeps stopping us, flyboy,” she retorted with a smile and laugh causing him to catch her lips between his.

 God, he loved her.

Poe removed Rey’s hand from his belt and eagerly shoved his pants and boxers down, barely getting them off all the way before Rey grasped hold of him and lined him up to her entrance. Poe reached between them to see if she was ready and gasped at the feeling of how wet she still was. He took a moment to lay his head on her shoulder and savor the feeling of pushing into her. He would always be amazed at how good she felt around him and how much he enjoyed when she wrapped her legs around his hips to give him a better angle. No matter how many times they had done this, which wasn’t many, and how many times he hoped they would in the future, he trusted it would always feel this good and be this special.

Once he was seated fully inside her, he lifted his head from Rey’s shoulder and caught her lips once again, while beginning to thrust. He wasn’t sure how long either of them was going to last with the noises they were both making and how tightly they were both clinging to each other.

Rey felt like her whole body was humming at this new experience with Poe. Sure, she always appreciated that he took his time with her before and made sure she was always comfortable but sometimes she wished he would just forget anything bad had ever happened to her and not be afraid of hurting her, because this was the type of sex Rey always fantasized having with Poe. He moved in just a way that hit a spot within her that she didn’t realize could feel so good.

“Right there?” Poe whispered against her cheek.

“Uh huh, Poe I’m close…” Rey muttered breathily.

Poe reached underneath her and before she knew it, he was lying under her with her straddling his hips. Rey felt a little awkward and vulnerable with this new position, usually preferring when Poe took control. She felt exposed with her entire body on display as he gazed softly upon her. Noticing the blush starting to rise up Rey’s cheeks, Poe chuckled and pulled her down so she was more or less lying completely over his chest. The new angle mixed with the feeling of Poe’s arms wrapped around her gave her the urgency to move again. As she did, Poe’s hands moved to her hips and began thrusting to match her movements.

“Fuck, sweetheart.” Poe gasped.  

The buildup started once more, and she could sense how much they both were desperate for relief. Poe groaned loudly as she sat back up, gaining back her confidence, and began to ride him. He reached up and began massaging her breasts earning the reaction he wanted from her. Rey’s pace began to pick up and Poe quickly moved one hand from her breast, reaching down to rub her clit. Rey moaned in ecstasy, shuddering as she felt Poe get sent over the edge. She collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily and pushing her sweaty hair out of her face. Poe gathered her in his arms and just held them in place, still admonishing the feeling of being inside her.

With much reluctance, Poe finally let go and got out of bed to grab a wet cloth for Rey. After cleaning her up, he climbed back in and held her once more, pressing lazy kisses to her forehead and cheek. She felt so perfectly molded to his body, like they were made to fit together. He would never get over the feeling of having her fall asleep in his arms, feeling safe and content.  

* * *

 

Rey slept soundly through the night, waking up in the same position she fell asleep in. She snuggled her face into the crook of Poe’s neck and breathed in his scent. She felt him hold her closer and sigh. She loved the perfect little world they were currently wrapped up in. Rey suddenly felt Poe begin to rub her back in soothing circles and smiled to herself. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and heard him chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Rey asked in a groggy voice.

Instead of a response, she felt his warmth leave her side and whined slightly as Poe got out of bed. She was a little surprised he had broken their little bubble but didn’t think much of it as she closed her eyes once more.

“Rey,” she heard behind her and looked over her shoulder, confused.

Rey felt her breath catch as she saw Poe kneeling on the floor next to their bed with a box containing a ring, in his hand.

“Poe,” she whispered, turning herself on her side so she was facing him with wide eyes.

“My love, my sweetheart, my soulmate, as soon as I met you, I knew you were someone special and that our lives would be connected in one way or another. I am so glad that it was “the other”. I can’t tell you how lucky I feel that you have chosen me to be the one to love you, to hold you, wipe your tears, make you dinner, make you laugh, and kiss you goodnight. I hope that you will also allow me to spend the rest of my life with you because I truly love you with all my heart, Rey Skywalker.”

Rey felt the tears begin to surface as she stared at her man, still naked from last night, kneeling before her with insane bedhead, not wanting to imagine what she looked like, but couldn’t imagine a more perfect or peaceful moment in her life.

Poe saw his beautiful girl smile as wide as she could and leaned forward, wrapped in sheets, to kiss him before enveloping him in her arms.

“I would like nothing more, flyboy.”


	27. The Beach

Poe and Rey walked hand in hand to Kes’s hospital room. They were both in such high spirits and excited to tell him the good news. Rey was even more excited to go back home and tell her family, but she knew she had to be here for Poe and his dad and she was okay with that. They walked into his room to see a nurse helping him button his shirt whilst he sat on the edge of the bed.

“What’s going on dad?” Poe asked.

“I’ve been cleared to go home, I’m leaving in a little while,” he replied cheerily.

“Oh, well that’s great. Rey and I will help you get settled at home and stay with you for a while.”

“Nonsense, I won’t be fully recovered for a couple more weeks, so I hired a nurse to stay with me. I don’t want to burden you two anymore than I already have. You are free to go home anytime you want.”

Poe was a little blindsided and didn’t really know what to say. They both had figured they were going to be here at least two weeks and it hadn’t even been one. Poe wasn’t sure he was ready to say goodbye to his dad yet. They had spent so much time apart, not on speaking terms, that Poe wanted to make up for it.

“I thought you’d want to spend some time with your future daughter-in-law?” Poe sneakily added watching as his father’s face beamed when Rey held up her hand.

“Oh my son! You have no idea how happy you just made me. Rey, you will be such a beautiful bride,” Kes said while choking back tears.

Rey stepped towards him and pulled him into her arms, smiling, “you’re the first to know.”

“I wasn’t sure my boy had the balls to do it so soon but I’m glad he did.”

Poe rolled his eyes and sighed, “dad.”

“Oh hush, you know it’s true. How about instead of watching your old man sit in front of the television all day, you take Rey to the beach?”

“It’s like a two-hour drive.”

“So? It’s early enough, not like you guys have a curfew,” Kes chuckled.

Poe looked to Rey, who was beaming at the idea of going to the shore.

“Alright, but we’re gonna get you settled at home first.”

“Fine, fine,” he said waving them off.

 

Kes insisted on Poe packing up a picnic basket of food for them for the trip and the beach. It took longer than Poe thought to get his dad settled and pack the car up, which Kes had graciously loaned them. It was late afternoon by the time they hit the road.

Poe reached over and held Rey’s hand just because he could. Plus, he liked the feeling of the ring on her finger. She turned her head and gave him a sleepy smile, then rest it on his shoulder. Poe eventually felt her weight get heavy and realized she had fallen asleep. He took a moment to kiss her forehead and temple. It still amazed him every day that he could feel so much love for someone. Some of his friends who had gotten married said they had dreaded the day they couldn’t sleep with anyone else or kiss another woman. Poe couldn’t imagine waking up to or making love to anyone but Rey. He was so happy that she had chosen him to spend her life with and Poe was going to make sure every day they had together would be filled with love and adoration because he knew just how lucky he was.

They hit a bump in the road and Poe felt Rey wake up and sit up in her seat.

“How much further?” She asked with a yawn.

“About a half hour, if we’re lucky, we should be able to watch the sun set over the water.”

“Hmm, that sounds nice. I’ve never been to a beach where the water was warm. The UK has some pretty freezing water.”

“You’ll really like it. I’m glad we get to have a mini vacation while we’re here, before we return to our normal, crazy lives.”

“Me too,” Rey leaned over and planted a kiss on Poe’s cheek.

They continued on the drive down a dusty dirt road where Rey noticed the marsh lands began to turn into flatlands with the beginnings of sea grass and dunes. Eventually, they started driving along the coastline, passing beach after beach.

“When are we going to stop? What’s wrong with these places?” She asked confusedly while pointing out the window.

“Just wait and see,” Poe replied cryptically.

A few minutes later, Rey noticed the road become a little more secluded and there were less signs for public beaches. Poe turned the car onto a sandy drive that led them through a lightly wooded area. They ended up at a clearing with a few parking spots and steps that led up to the dunes. Once Poe parked, Rey excitedly opened the car door and ran up the steps to see a small, private beach lined with a few palm trees and a perfect view of the sun beginning to set on top of the ocean. The sand felt softer than anything Rey had ever put her feet on. She kneeled down to run it through her hands and looked over her shoulder to see Poe walking up behind her with their bags and picnic basket.

“Oh good, no one’s here. Looks like we have this spot to ourselves, sweetheart,” Poe grinned.

Rey jumped up to her feet and hurriedly ran up to Poe to give him a lingering kiss, “thank you for this.”

“Hey, thank my dad for suggesting it,” Poe said as he carried their stuff to a spot closer to the water.

He laid out a few towels for them and began unloading the picnic basket. Poe grinned as he watched Rey walk timidly down to the water’s edge and let the ocean engulf her feet. He walked down to her and sighed at the feeling of the warm water against his ankles.

“How do you like it?”

“It’s so nice, Poe. This beach is beautiful, how did you know about it?”

“My mom used to take me here when I was little. It kind of used to be our special little secret hideaway. When I got older and turned into a bratty teenager, she used to take me out here to clear my head. By the end of the evening, I always felt a million times better. Even though it’s not the same without her here, it does feel just as peaceful as I remember,” Poe smiled and turned towards Rey to see her staring at him with what Poe might describe as admiration.

Rey took her hands and placed them on Poe’s cheeks, pulling his face down to meet her lips.

“I wish I could have met her, I’m sure we would have gotten on well,” Rey added.

“She would have loved you, that’s for sure.”

Rey wrapped her arms around Poe and felt him reciprocate instantly, he sighed as she held him and laid her head against his chest, breathing in the smell of the salt air.

“Wish I had thought to bring a swimsuit but to be honest I didn’t think we would be spending much time away from the hospital, let alone be going to a beach.”

“Who says we need swimsuits?” Poe queried with a raised eyebrow causing Rey to giggle.

“Oh hush.”

They went back to sit on their towels in the soft sand. Poe began to dig into the picnic basket revealing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, fruit, cheese, and packaged cookies.

“Wow, this is quite a feast,” Rey sassed.

“Just you wait sweetheart,” he began while pulling out a bottle of wine and two plastic cups, “just like in college because we’re classy.”

Rey snorted and let Poe pour wine into her red solo cup. They sat in complete content as the sun began to set over the water. At some point, Poe intertwined his hand with hers, holding on tight, occasionally feeding her a piece of fruit. Rey appreciated what this place meant to him and she felt honored that he was comfortable sharing it with her.

Suddenly, Poe stood up and began stripping down to his underwear.

Rey startled, “what are you doing? Are you insane, someone might catch us!”

“Come on! It’s just us, live a little. Besides, if anyone does show up, they get treated to a show,” Poe winked while pulling Rey to her feet.

Soon, he was completely buck naked and running towards the ocean. Rey covered half her face and shyly looked around to make sure they were truly alone. After watching Poe’s cute butt bouncing away from her, she decided to just go for it and stripped down as well.

Poe walked inland a little to take Rey’s hand and help guide her into the water. Apparently, she was taking too long because Rey soon found herself being hoisted up onto Poe’s shoulder while he ran with them deeper into the water. When he deemed they were out far enough, he set her down and pulled her to his chest.

“Sorry sweetheart, you were taking so long I thought my balls were gonna freeze off.”

“How romantic,” Rey replied, burying her face into Poe’s shoulder.

Poe swam them to where the water covered them up to their chests. Rey wrapped her legs around Poe’s waist and stifled a moan when his hands slid under her butt to hold her upright. She captured his lips in a lingering and heated kiss. Poe began to kiss down her jaw to her neck, eventually ending up at her chest. Her head leaned back and she sighed at the feeling of Poe’s warm breath against her skin. Even though the water was pretty warm, the air around them felt cool and crisp as the sun disappeared down the horizon line.

She leaned her forehead against his when she felt one of his hands leave her bottom and settle in between them, on her clit. Poe gently began to rub, looking for any indication that she didn’t want to do this. Sometimes he worried he pushed her too fast and the last thing he wanted to do was ever make her uncomfortable.

Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder, closed her eyes, and let the feeling of what Poe was doing wash over and consume her. She felt his speed pick up and felt a little guilty that she was getting the better end of this deal. To fix the situation, Rey trailed her hand down Poe’s abdomen and grasped his hard cock in her hand. Poe wasn’t expecting it but moaned deeply and closed his eyes at the sensation, forgetting a minute about helping Rey reach her end.

She gripped him firmly and moved her hand up and down slightly. Rey had never actually gotten Poe off with her hand during the few times they had had sex. Poe insisted that it wasn’t necessary after hearing what Jack made her do countless times, against her enjoyment and sometimes consent. However, Rey felt that this was much different. It made her happy and even more excited to see how much Poe seemed to be enjoying it. She could feel him getting impossibly hard in her hand and noticed his breathing was shallow.

“Uh babe, you might want to stop if you expect me to fuck you soon,” Poe muttered into her chest.

“I heard it’s bad to have sex in water,” Rey stated with a quizzical look.

“Really? Well, then by all means continue,” Poe chuckled.

He returned to rubbing her clit and pumped one finger in and out of her simultaneously. They both were left breathing hard and thrusting into the others hand until relief washed over them both. They stood holding each other for quite some time while trying to catch their breath. Poe took Rey’s lips softly between his and brushed his hand across her face, moving pieces of her wet hair.

Rey shivered and Poe knew it was time to get out and wrap up in some towels. He held his fiancé’s hand and walked back up the beach. Moonlight completely filled the space around them, heightening the sounds of the ocean. Poe wrapped Rey up in a towel, rubbing his hands up and down her arms until she felt warm again. They sat on the beach drying off, leaning against one another, enjoying their perfect evening.    


	28. Safe and Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long! I just got back from Star Wars Celebration and finally had some time to sit down and write. I do feel like this is a bit of a fluff piece but I just felt like writing it. It's definitely not as long as I would have liked but, what can you do? Thanks for reading as always!

Poe and Rey waved one final goodbye to Kes and piled into the taxi, heading for the airport. They were both relieved to be heading home even though Poe hated leaving his father so soon. Kes had assured them many times that he would be okay and that they would talk soon. Poe felt a sense of calm knowing he and his father were in a better place than the last time Poe had left. Rey hadn’t said much all morning but Poe just put it off as she was tired. After all, they had had a long and emotional week, not to mention the beach day yesterday.

He began to wonder if something more was wrong when he reached around her and pulled her into a reassuring side-hug, only to have her flinch and subtly inch away. He couldn’t help but feel a little hurt that his soon-to-be wife didn’t seem to want him to touch her. Poe began to replay every conversation they had in the last twenty-four hours to see if something he might have said upset her, but came up with nothing. The previous night she fell asleep in his arms but woke up acting distant. It killed him that he was second guessing even putting a hand to her back as they walked to their gate.

“Rey honey, is everything okay?”

Rey put on the fakest smile Poe thinks he has ever seen and nodded.

“Okay,” Poe said quietly, more to himself than her.

The plane ride back was a long one; seven hours with nothing but silence and distance between them killed the momentum they had built since the morning Poe proposed. A terrible piece of him was wondering if she was second guessing her decision to say, yes. They had only been dating for little over a year, which he supposed was practically nothing. Perhaps she thought it was too soon and wasn’t sure how to tell him she didn’t want to get married. These thoughts circled and swirled around his head for hours on end, slowly eating away at him.

They finally arrived back in London and shared a cab home. Poe noticed Rey’s shoulders relax as soon as their apartment building came into view. As they walked towards their flat, Poe began to stress what he was going to tell Ben if he noticed the ring on Rey’s finger, not being sure how much longer they would be engaged for. In a slightly heartbreaking way, Poe was relieved when he unlocked the front door and Rey ran immediately into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

“Hey, you’re back!” Ben exclaimed while trying to contain a frantic Chewy.

“Yeah, how was everything, I see you managed to keep our dog alive,” Poe joked as he took the little fur ball in his arms.

“I did. How’s your dad doing? Better I imagine, since you’re home?”

“He was released from the hospital a couple days ago and claims he’s doing much better, but I think I’m going to give him a call in a few minutes to check in.”

“Hey, where’s Rey? What, did you leave her at the airport?” Ben laughed as he looked around the corner.

“She went straight to bed, I think the jetlag is starting to hit her hard,” Poe lied.

“Oh, well tell her I said hi I guess,” Ben shrugged his shoulders as he grabbed his things to leave.

“Will do. Hey, let me write you a check for your troubles.”

“No, no, that’s not necessary, don’t worry about it,” he assured.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind paying you.”

“Dude, your dad was in the hospital, you don’t have to pay me.”

“Thanks man, we really appreciate it,” Poe clasped his hand on Ben’s shoulder and watched as he said goodbye to Chewy and went out the door.

Poe quickly walked over to the bedroom door and briefly debated whether or not he should knock, but he was her fiancé, he had a right to check on her.

“Rey?” Poe said quietly into the void of the dark room, seeing Rey’s figure curled into herself on the bed.

He swiftly moved to lay on the bed with her and almost cried when she flinched at his touch.

“Sweetheart, please talk to me, you’re breaking my heart. Did I do something that made you angry? If I did, I am so, so sorry and vow to never do it again.”

Rey hesitated, “...I just don’t want you touching me right now…but I also want you to hold me, it’s a weird and scary feeling I can’t describe to you,” she admitted while holding back tears.

“Did something happen? What brought this on?”

“I don’t know, I just woke up and…we were in bed naked together and I just got the weirdest feeling and need to cover myself up. I couldn’t tell you why but I just feel off and kind of gross today,” Rey whispered while finally willing herself to face in Poe’s direction.

Her perfect, wonderful man was lying next to her with fear and hurt written all over his face, causing Rey to will herself to cuddle into him and lay her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat slow, relaxing more with each second.

“Can I hold you or do you still not want me to touch you?” He asked quietly.

“I’m not sure, maybe hold me?”

“If you get uncomfortable, just tell me to stop okay?” Poe couldn’t help but feel as if he was transported into a time capsule back to when they were first trying to have sex and Rey would get flashbacks. He just hoped and prayed that this feeling she had was temporary. They had come such a long way and his heart would crumble for her if they had to go back to square one, even though of course, he would have no problem doing that for her.

Poe wrapped his arms around her gently and sighed when he didn’t feel her flinch, but ease herself into him more. The room was filled with silence until Rey spoke up once more.

“I think I want to take a shower, maybe I’ll feel less gross after that.”

“Okay sweetheart, I’ll run the water for you. Do you want me to join you or do you want to take one by yourself?”

Rey stared down into her lap, “by myself,” she muttered apologetically, realizing how ridiculous it was that she felt shy about her fiancé seeing her naked body.

“That’s alright,” Poe expressed as he gently kissed her forehead.

Rey stood under the hot water for what felt like forever, so long that Poe knocking on the bathroom door was what broke her from her trance.

“Rey, are you okay in there?”

“Yeah, um, I think I’m ready to come out now,” she said hating how her voice shook.

She startled when the bathroom door opened and through the glass, she saw Poe grab a towel and hold it out for her. Rey cautiously stepped out and was grateful for Poe looking towards the ceiling instead of at her, until she was safely wrapped in the warm towel.

“Feel any better?” Poe asked, hopeful.

“A little.”

Poe led her back into their bedroom and sat her on the bed while he grabbed clothes for her. Poe silently asked for her permission before she allowed him to slip a pair of underwear on her under the towel and slide a shirt over her head. Once it securely covered her chest, she dropped the towel to the floor and promptly burrowed underneath the bedsheets. Poe also changed into more comfortable clothes that didn’t smell like an airplane and climbed in next to her. He wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms and kiss her all over until he heard the sweet sound of her giggles, but he held himself back, knowing that wasn’t what Rey needed right now. Instead, he kept to his side of the bed and turned the television on. They watched in content silence for a few minutes until he felt the bed move beside him and felt Rey curl up against his side.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, feeling tears begin to fall down her cheeks.

“There’s no need to be sorry, beautiful girl,” Poe hushed and settled her so she was safely wrapped up in his embrace, not tight enough that she felt trapped, but close enough that she felt loved.

Poe began to run his fingers through her hair and unconsciously began to hum a tune. They fell into a familiar rocking motion that soon had Rey asleep on Poe’s chest. He felt selfish about how good it made him feel to hold and comfort her again, but it did. Poe wanted to battle all of Rey’s nightmares and demons for her, never wanting her to feel hurt or ashamed ever again. The blankets had fallen down around Rey’s hips and Poe quickly grabbed them to cover her again, hoping that when she woke, she would feel safe and secure with him, like she deserved.


	29. Now

Rey stirred against Poe’s chest as the sun shined through the window next to their bed, bathing them in warmth and light. She was still wrapped up in Poe’s arms from the night before but unlike yesterday morning, she didn’t feel the need to distance herself from him. Rey was glad that she was back to feeling like her normal self. She glanced up to see Poe still asleep, breathing heavily. Rey reached her head up and lightly kissed Poe’s chin. Chewy must have noticed she was awake as he got up from his position at the end of the bed and walked over to them both, sitting down between them looking pitifully at Rey for attention. As soon as she placed her hand on his head, the dog wagged his tail happily and began squeezing between them both to get access to Poe as well.

Poe woke up to the feeling of something licking his face. He opened his eyes only to be greeted with Chewy’s wet nose.

“Morning Chewy, did you miss us buddy?” Poe asked while he cuddled with the little dog.

Rey giggled, causing Poe’s attention to turn from Chewy to his fiancé.

“How are you feeling?” He asked while rubbing her arm.

“Much better, I’m sorry about yesterday, I don’t know what came over me.”

“Hey, there’s no need to apologize honey, I’m just glad you’re feeling better. What do you think you want to do today?”

“Well, I suppose we should go tell my family that we are engaged, they’ll probably be pissed knowing your dad has already known about it for as long as he has.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” Poe sighed as he held Rey to his chest, relishing in the quiet space that surrounded them.

Eventually, they both got out of bed and Rey called her aunt to arrange having lunch at their house with her dad and Ben as well. She tried to play it as cool as possible but Rey had a feeling her aunt could tell what the dinner was about.

“Babe it is freezing out, what the hell?” Poe whined as he brought Chewy back into the house from the garden.

“Well, it is winter, Poe. I think it’s supposed to rain later too, would have been a nice day to stay in bed all day,” Rey responded with a sly grin and a wink sent in Poe’s direction.

Poe just stared at her and sighed, looking at Rey with a forlorn expression, “oh my god you’re killing me, sweetheart.”

“Maybe later,” Rey stood and gave him a kiss before Poe went to take a shower.

Soon, Poe and Rey were in a cab headed to Leia and Han’s place while trying to figure out how they should tell them. Rey was still trying to figure it out as they walked up the front steps and knocked on the door. What she didn’t realize was, her new nervous habit was to spin her engagement ring, causing Ben’s attention when he opened the door to immediately go to Rey’s hand.

“Mom! Rey’s engaged!” He shouted into the house earning a smack on the chest from Rey.

“Ben! What the hell?” She cursed as she heard her aunt running to the front door, talking incoherently.

She took one look at the ring on Rey’s finger and threw her arms around her niece, then around her fiancé.

“You have no idea how happy I am, honey!” She said ushering them into the house where Han was getting a couple of beers from the fridge.

“Congrats kiddos, I was wondering when you’d tie the knot.”

“Oh will you shut up,” Leia scolded, still with one arm around Rey.

“Where’s Luke?” Rey asked.

“He isn’t here yet, so at least you’ll be able to tell him the way you want to without my obnoxious son announcing it himself. So, you have to tell me how you proposed.”

Poe quickly tried to think of a more PG version of the story that didn’t involve them both naked, the morning after having amazing sex.

“Well, I had had that ring in my pocket for quite some time, I was just trying to figure out the right moment to propose. Rey had been such an incredible support while my dad was in the hospital that I just woke up one morning while we were in Florida and decided I wanted to ask her then and there. Nothing too showy or dramatic, but I think it kind of suits us,” Poe gave a shy smile, catching Rey’s eye.

“It was perfect, no question about it,” She smiled back, grateful that Poe had left out some of the more private details, she was appreciative that they still had something that was just for them.

“Well, I couldn’t be happier for you two,” Leia added with a knowing smile.

Just then, Rey heard the front door open and quickly put her ring in her pocket before Luke made his way to the kitchen.

“Hey, it’s nice to see you two are back, how’s your father Poe?” Luke asked giving everyone a hug.

“He’s doing a lot better, thank you for asking, sir.”

“I’m glad to hear it, so what’s for lunch?” He asked clapping his hands together.

“Han’s making burgers and I made some potato salad,” Leia answered while getting plated down from the cabinet.

“Hey dad, can I talk to you outside for a minute?” Rey inquired.

“Sure, sweetheart.”

Rey led Luke outside, noticing how truly cold it was out. She wrapped her arms around herself and sat on the bench on the back porch. Luke sat comfortably next to her and looked at her with loving eyes.

“Now what did you take me out here to discuss?”

“What do you think of Poe?”

Luke looked a little startled but amused at the same time, “why are you asking me this now? You know I love him and think you two are good together.”

“Well, I was just making sure you liked him,” Rey smiled and scooted closer to Luke to throw her arms around him.

“He asked me to marry him, dad,” Rey whispered into his hear, feeling him tense, then hug her back with all his might.

“Oh, my love. I am so happy for you, I hope you said yes!” Luke chuckled as he pulled away to hold his daughter’s face in his hands.

"Of course I said yes!"

“You look happy.”

“I am happy. I love him so much it sometimes doesn’t feel real.”

“That’s how you know it is. Let me see the ring.”

Rey took it out of her pocket and placed it back in its rightful place.

“It’s so beautiful, honey.”

Rey noticed Poe lurking by the sliding door that led to the porch and motioned for him to come out. He cautiously opened it and stepped out, causing Luke to turn and get up from the bench. He said nothing, just held his arms out in a kind gesture, embracing the younger man.

“Congrats son, I know you’ll take good care of her.”

“I will, you don’t have to worry about that.”

They sat together as a family, eating and talking about what was going on in their lives and what Poe and Rey missed while they were gone. Poe, Han, and Luke got into a heated discussion about a new engine model that came out for fighter planes that was supposed to increase fuel efficiency while Leia and Rey tried to grill Ben on what was going on with him and Talia, relishing in his blushing face and increased irritation.

By the time Poe and Rey were ready to leave, it was pouring rain outside. Poe called a car about fifteen minutes ago and it still hadn’t showed up.

“How about we run home, it’s only a few blocks,” he smirked devilishly.

“What? No! It’s pouring rain.”

“Come on, where’s your sense of adventure?” Poe mocked.

Rey rolled her eyes and zipped her jacket up, giving her family a feigned smile goodbye before being dragged outside by Poe who was laughing like a child. Soon enough, she was giggling too.

They ran a couple blocks, then stopped under an awning to catch their breath.

“You good, sweetheart?” Poe asked huffing and puffing.

“Yeah, how about you, old man?” Rey teased as she ran off towards their building.

“Oh, not fair! You’re gonna get it later!” Poe yelled as he ran after her.

After what felt like forever, they finally reached their building, freezing, soaked, and out of breath.

“Great idea, flyboy.”

“I thought it was,” Poe sassed back.

They quickly entered their apartment and began stripping down their clothes. Poe grabbed blankets from the couch and wrapped Rey up once she was down to her bra and panties. He sat them both down on the couch and pulled Rey into his lap, rubbing her arms up and down trying to warm her.

“Was this your plan all along, get me naked and force me to snuggle with you?” Rey pestered.

“You caught me,” Poe whispered, lazily gazing upon her.

Rey caught his gaze and met his lips with hers, softly. Poe moved his hands down to her hips, causing Rey to shiver with overwhelming warmth stretching through her body. Poe teased her bottom lip, loving the moan he got from her. She pulled back slightly, staring at her handsome man with curls hanging down his forehead still soaked with water. Poe kissed her forehead sweetly before she laid down onto his chest more, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

“You warm enough?”

“I am now.”


	30. A Future

Rey woke up to the smell of food cooking in the kitchen. However, it wasn’t the usual smell of bacon and eggs. It was something she couldn’t really place. She sat up slowly and grabbed one of Poe’s button up shirts laying on the end of their bed to throw on. Chewy met her as she opened the bedroom door and walked into the living room. Poe looked up from stirring something in a pot on the stove to greet her with a sweet smile.

“Morning, love.”

“Good morning, what in the world are you cooking?” Rey asked, giving Poe a kiss, then surveying the state of their kitchen. Pots and pans covered every surface and burner. Different ingredients where scattered across the counter.

“Well, I felt bad that we didn’t get to have our Thanksgiving meal, so I’m cooking a belated Thanksgiving, almost Christmas dinner.”

“Oh Poe, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I figured you had to try my turkey before we get married, just to make sure you wanna stay with me,” Poe teased, pulling Rey against him, quickly realizing his shirt was the only thing she was wearing.

“Okay, I’m definitely starting to think you really enjoy teasing me, sweetheart. This just isn’t fair.” Poe whined.

“What isn’t fair?” Rey asked coyly as she hopped up on the counter in front of Poe and spread her legs slightly while fluttering her eyelashes.

Poe sighed deeply, “god dammit.”

He quickly turned off every burner on the stove and picked Rey up off the counter, “we have to be quick or this food will get disgusting just sitting there.”

“Fine by me,” Rey giggled, clearly in no mood for them to take their time this morning.

 

 

Rey stood in front of the stove, stirring mashed potatoes while Poe checked on the turkey. Her gaze drifted up and out the window seeing something white fall from the sky.

“Poe!” Rey gasped, “it’s snowing!”

Poe almost hit his head at the startling sound of Rey shouting his name but forgave her immediately when he saw the pure joy painted across her face. Her smile never failed to make his day a thousand times better.

“Well, go ahead,” Poe encouraged.

Rey squealed and ran to the bedroom to put on warmer clothes. Soon enough she was out the back door and running into the shared garden, looking up to the sky. Poe watched her with a full heart, seeing her so happy.

Rey stuck out her tongue to catch the snowflakes and shivered once she tasted them. She always loved the snow and while most people dreaded when it started, for her, it was the best day of the year. She got lost in the feeling until two arms circled her waist. Rey giggled as Poe kissed her cold cheeks and face.

“Poe stop, what about the food?” Rey laughed.

“It’ll still be there when I get back,” Poe joked.

“If you ruin the turkey then how will I decide if I want to marry you or not?”

“I thought I helped you make that decision this morning?” Poe teased causing Rey’s cheeks to turn a brilliant shade of red.

She giggled self-consciously and buried her face into Poe’s chest, trying to hide her blushing face. Poe took hold of one of her hands and began to sway with her back and forth. Rey closed her eyes, comfortably leaning against Poe’s form, letting him dance slowly with her. He laid his chin atop her head and sighed. Poe still couldn’t figure out how he got so lucky as to end up with her.

“We should probably go back inside, you’re shivering,” Poe suggested.

“Do we have to?”

“How about I make you some hot chocolate?”

“With marshmallows?” Rey asked with her big doe eyes that made Poe melt.

“Of course,” he assured with a chaste kiss.

They walked back into the flat hand in hand, shaking the cold from their bodies. Poe grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around Rey’s shoulders, then went to the kitchen to start the kettle for their hot chocolate.

“When will dinner be ready?”

“Turkey’s got about another hour, then we should be good to eat.”

“Good ‘cause I’m starving,” Rey groaned.

“Maybe I could help satisfy you until dinner?” Poe chimed, coyly, walking towards her.

“You are insatiable, Poe Dameron,” Rey smirked, taking Poe’s lips between hers.

She quickly separated herself, earning a groan from Poe, “I’m going to take a hot shower, I’m still freezing. I’ll grab my hot chocolate after.”

“Not fair,” Poe whined at the sudden loss of Rey’s lips.

“How about I wear something special tonight to make it up to you?” Rey offered with a blush.

“Like the red dress, you know I like the red dress.”

“The last time I wore the red dress, we almost got caught having sex in a restaurant bathroom,” she laughed from the bedroom.

“Why do you think I want you to wear it?” Poe teased.

He went back to finish the side dishes he was making to go with the turkey. Poe decided on mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, and fresh baguettes. What Rey didn’t know, is he also made a homemade pumpkin pie for dessert. Rey said she always wanted to try it but never got the chance to. Poe figured if he was introducing Rey to what Thanksgiving dinner is like, it would be remiss if he didn’t make a pumpkin pie.

Rey reentered the room about a half hour later dressed in the little red dress Poe loved, with her hair half up and curled. Poe could never get over her beauty, he loved the way his heart always skipped a beat when she appeared and hoped that it would stay that way for the rest of their relationship.

“Hey beautiful, I made you a fresh cup of hot chocolate.”

“Thanks babe, need help with anything?”

“No, I think the sides are just about done so we are just waiting for Tom to be done.”

Rey raised a confused eyebrow, “Tom?”

“The turkey,” Poe chuckled.

“Oh! Well, tell that bird to hurry up, I’m about to eat my arm.”

“Here, why don’t you have a piece of bread, it just came out of the oven.”

Rey grabbed a piece a felt it melt in her mouth with it’s incredible taste, “Oh my god, Poe. If this is a preview of what’s to come I’m a very lucky lady.”

“I hope everything tastes good.”

It wasn’t long after that Poe took the turkey out of the oven and began to carve it, hoping for the best. He took a quick taste and knew it was cooked perfectly.

“Wanna hand me your plate and I’ll serve you?”

“Sure, can I have a little bit of everything?”

“Of course.”

Poe served them both, then grabbed a bottle of champagne and poured two glasses. They sat and stared at the feast in front of them. Rey had never had anyone cook a meal like this before. Luke never had an affinity for cooking so they mainly ordered take out or cooked something relatively easy to make like grilled cheese sandwiches. The only time Rey had a proper meal was when they would go over to her Aunt Leia’s for Christmas dinner. Even then, she never had anything that was quite as extravagant as what Poe made tonight.

“Thank you for this, Poe,” Rey spoke quietly, as if she talked too loud the food would disappear.

“Of course, I feel bad that it got delayed, but oh well, life happens I suppose,” Poe sighed.

“Life happening isn’t a bad thing, if life didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have met you and I still would have been in a relationship with that creep,” Rey shuttered at the thought of Jack.

“Nah, I think you would have broken it off even if you hadn’t met me.”

“Well, I’m glad I did meet you, especially after I found out how good of a cook you are.”

“Speaking of, let’s eat before it gets cold.”

The food was just as amazing as Rey thought it would be. She ate more than she should have but didn’t regret it one bit. She felt warm in her tiny flat, with the snow falling, covering the backyard in a thin layer, full with comforting food, and sitting next to her best friend in the whole world.

She was utterly surprised when Poe placed a pumpkin pie on the table and handed her a fork.

“Here, try it,” Poe encouraged.

“No plates?”

“We don’t need ‘em, dig in.”

Rey took a forkful from the edge, making sure to get a piece of the crust as well, “wow, and I thought the turkey was good.”

Poe chuckled, all too proud of himself for a successful meal.

“You know, since this meal is for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, it’s only fair that you get a present.”

Rey sat a little flustered at Poe’s sentiment, feeling like after everything he did for her today, she wasn’t worthy of another gift.

“Poe, Christmas isn’t for another month, you did not have to get me something.”

Poe pulled out a small blue box from under the table, that was wrapped in a white ribbon. Rey opened it slowly, racking her brain trying to figure out what it could be, only to be caught completely off guard by the sight of a shiny, silver, baby rattle.

“It was mine when I was a baby, my mother was given it by her dad and I guess it was one of her most prized possessions. My dad gave it to me right before we left to come back home. I just figured it might be nice to have it…for the future,” Poe explained.

Rey felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes. This wonderful man sitting in front of her was thinking about a future with her that included a family. Rey didn’t have a family for too much of her life and she certainly didn’t have any family heirlooms to pass on to her children or really much of anything. She didn’t have a mother growing up and even though she never resented that fact, Rey always wondered how she would fare as a mother, without ever having anyone to model after. It was clear that Poe saw that future with her and had no concerns or seed of doubt in his mind that she won’t be up for that journey. Rey wanted to take that journey with him, no matter what.

“I love you, Poe,” she whispered as she pulled her love into her arms, basking in his warmth.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter for this fic. I'm definitely sad it's over but I have been writing this for almost a year now and never did I think this fic would end up being 30 chapters long. I want to thank everyone who kept with me and read every chapter even if it took me a while to upload. I hope this ending is satisfying enough for this story, I definitely struggled with figuring out how I wanted it to end but came up with this. Thanks again!


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